A Very Scary Bet
by metroanime
Summary: what kind of insanity could develop if Genma had to take more than one child on that training trip?
1. A Different Spin & Charge

  
A Very Scary Bet, Fanfic.net version (revised) part 1a: A  
different spin and charge by greggsharp,  
  
metroanime@mindspring.com  
  
http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com  
  
---Mimir's Well----------  
  
Toltiir smirked at the reluctant incubus, who was still visibly shaken by the events he'd seen in one of the timelines visible through the scrying pool.   
  
"Ranma...and..." Grey shuddered. Some things were just WRONG. He'd seen timelines where Ranma ended up with Akane(shudder), or Ukyou, or Kodachi, or Shampoo, or Hiroshi (shudder), or Nabiki, or Kasumi, or Kasumi AND Ukyou, or Tatewaki (shudder), or even Doctor Tofu (ick). This one... the incubus had a light green tint to his features that was not the result of lighting.   
  
"You see," the little god of mischief explained, "it is not only where you put the change, but the spin and the charge you put on it. You also have to consider the timeline that you're altering. The way things turned out originally shows the way that world works and will have an effect on your change."   
  
"I see," Grey managed. "Oh man, who's was THAT, anyway?" He wanted to avoid the person whose mind came up with something like that. Even the one where Ranma-chan married Happosai was less twisted and degrading than THAT one.   
  
Toltiir ignored the question. He'd thought that it had been different at least. "Look at what happens when I make the very same change you did, but put the spin and vector like this."   
  
----March 13, 1981-----  
  
Nodoka had been called to the hospital to visit a sick friend when the news had come in. Soun Tendo, having one of his emotional collapses, had plowed his car into a set of gas pumps. The resulting fireball, well, while Soun was a trained martial artist and could absorb a lot of damage, there were limits.  
  
Kimiko's dying wish was that Nodoka take in at least one of the daughters. She was trying for all three. By the time various relatives found out, the dying request had been recorded, and it was all over. None of the relatives really wanted the children enough for a lengthy court battle.  
  
Nodoka used the resources available to her and tracked her errant husband down on his training trip. All arguments to the side, this had NOT been foreseen when she had signed the contract. She would have trouble making ends meet with all three children, therefore Genma had to come back and go back to work.  
  
Work. Shigoto. Genma considered it an unlucky word, beginning with death and ending with a burglar. He had been a thief many times training under Happosai. It was a bad omen.  
  
Genma looked at the three little girls and came up with one of those ideas that he would later regret. They were also heirs to the Anything Goes school, and one of them would be Ranma's wife  
eventually. Nodoka would never go along with his ideas for training so...   
  
---March 11, 1982-----  
  
"He's beating those kids because he cheats," observed Nabiki calmly. It had taken her all of twelve seconds of observation from the shadows.   
  
The Gambling King frowned. "What do you mean, calling me a CHEAT? Little girls should not make up stories about their elders."   
  
"Oh?" Nabiki took in the looks of the parents and the children. "And what about those Jokers you've got stuffed up your sleeves?"   
  
"You must be ..." The Gambling King looked down at where a thrown spatula had slit open one of his sleeves. Cards tumbled to the ground. His eyes tracked up to the brown haired girl who was smiling a cute little smile and winking at the shorter haired girl.   
  
"Smarter than the average kid," Nabiki finished. "Now, we can do this one of two ways. Ucchan and Ranma here can beat you until you look like sushi. OR..."  
  
"Or?" The Gambling King looked up. Why did he think that he'd like this option even less? Why did he have the sudden urge to say "I'd have gotten away with it, if it weren't for you darned kids..."   
  
"That was a good throw, Kasumi!" Ranma smiled at his big sister.   
  
"Hey!" Ukyou spoke up. "I coulda done that too, y'know!" It was HER technique, after all.  
  
"Why do Ukyou and Ranma get to beat him up? I'm a martial artist too, you know!" Akane grumbled. Ukyou was a cute boy and he hadn't responded at all to Akane's overtures. Phooey.  
  
An hour later, at their campsite, Genma wondered where all the money, extra clothes, and gambling equipment had come from, but perhaps wisely didn't inquire.   
  
-----March 15,1982------  
  
"So, Ranma," began Genma. "Which do you like better, Ucchan or okonomiyaki?" The yattai was a powerful lure, it would help him make ends meet for a little longer. It had become especially difficult with the extra girls around. If only he could find some way of getting rid of them!  
  
"Uhm," Ranma began. Almost involuntarily, his eyes flicked over to the side.   
  
"Ucchan is a good cook, isn't he?" Kasumi asked innocently. She liked Ucchan.   
  
Ranma blinked. That's right. Ucchan made the okonomiyaki. "UCCHAN," Ranma said enthusiastically as he munched on another piece of the okonomiyaki.   
  
Genma sighed and covered his eyes. Well, that's what he got for leaving the decision up to a child, particularly one that kept looking up to his "big sister" for advice.  
  
Nabiki smiled and went back to practicing her dice rolling techniques.   
  
-----September 3, 1982----  
  
Genma sat back and watched Kasumi and Ukyou spar near the yattai. Sales had been brisk earlier that day, and now he had the money to go get something to drink. He turned slightly, watching Nabiki con some adults out of spare change. Genma turned slightly again and watched Ranma and Akane sparring.   
  
Too many kids. He had to get rid of some of them, at least temporarily. He shuddered at the thought of dropping by his home. Nodoka would likely take some of the children back if he told her that they were simply too much for him to handle. She'd understand.   
  
However, there was the bit about children who talked.  
  
They said the darndest things. Particularly when you didn't want them to.   
  
Maybe he could find other senseis to pawn them off on. After all, they already showed some skill in at least the basics.   
  
Ukyou had been revealed to all as a girl. Her engagement to Ranma had also become common knowledge. That the Tendos were ALSO engaged to Ranma had likewise become shared knowledge. There were questions and recriminations, but now Genma faced another problem entirely.   
  
All four of the young ladies considered Ranma to be their fiance, and all had come to a simple truce on the matter. That multiple marriages were technically illegal or at least objectionable  
within the bounds of normal society didn't enter into their simple worldview.   
  
That none of them really understood what an engagement or marriage actually meant was something that Genma meant to keep going as long as he could. Kasumi thought it had something to do with taking care of someone's house. Nabiki thought it had something to do with a financial merger. Akane thought it had something to do with being allowed to take over the dojo. Genma had no idea what Ukyou thought of the engagement other than she seemed to really like his son.   
  
Whether Ranma returned as a man among men or not, Nodoka would kill him. Not good. Very, very, not good. If she found out about Kaori Daikokuji (fish and TWO pickles), or Biiko (two bags of  
rice), or Kotono (protection from the temple guards), or Megumi (cancellation of a gambling debt), well, maybe he could get away before she got that sword unwrapped.(1)   
  
Genma thought about this. He also noted that the various sparring partners seemed to help Ranma. Each of the various students had their own strengths and weaknesses that could be exploited and  
Ranma had to adapt to each. Kasumi was a gentle creature, reluctant to strike even in retaliation. Ranma was reluctant to do more than poke her with a finger. The two sparring against each other were more tests of manueverability and agility than a battle. Genma found himself yelling at them both to stop dancing on more than one occasion.  
  
(Unfortunately on one occasion, Ranma had pulled out a top hat and cane, Kasumi had pulled out a pair of dancing shoes, and the two had given a performance that had curious onlookers throwing money. Naturally, Genma suspected that Nabiki had had her hand in it.)  
  
Spatula vs spatula against Ukyou seemed to bring a little more fight out. Having seen that, as soon as he felt Kasumi had more basic moves down, he'd train her with a variety of household  
weapons. Genma looked with disdain upon weapon users when compared to the mastery of unarmed combat, but allowed that some people just weren't cut out for the elegant majesty of the Road  
Of The Fist.   
  
Nabiki was a smart and tricky fighter. Not as strong as Akane or as fast as Kasumi, she used terrain and taunts to keep her opponents off guard. When she struck, it was precise and with a  
minimum of wasted effort. In some ways she was the most challenge for Ranma to fight, as he had to think about the tactics of the situation. She'd deliberately miss an opponent, only have it turn out she was merely setting them up. She was teaching herself tricks using some of the gambling equipment they'd gotten, as she felt spatulas were Ukyou's trademark and she wanted to establish her own identity. She'd gotten pretty good with them too.  
  
Akane was the storm to Kasumi's wind and Nabiki's rain. Strength and fury and raw emotion contrasted to Kasumi's evasiveness and Nabiki's dominance of environment. Akane fought quickly, all out, and was easily the strongest of the four girls. She usually lost to her sisters, though. Kasumi would gently redirect the violence until Akane was spent. Nabiki would tease and dodge until Akane left herself open, then unleash her own devastating attack. Akane was a purist, though, no tricks or weapons use for her. Strength, endurance, and skill. She was almost ready for the Stonebreaker technique, perhaps the Iron Fist or Eagle Claw. Genma was certain that Akane would surpass her sisters eventually.  
  
Ukyou was still heavily reliant on her weapons. Without them, she was becoming quite competent. With them, she was almost as good as Ranma now. Her obvious reluctance to go all out against Ranma was going to be a problem though. Against Akane, the match was much more even. They didn't seem to get along well for some reason. Ukyou got along well with Kasumi, fairly well with  
Nabiki, and was often Ranma's shadow. Akane and Ukyou left alone usually ended up in a brawl. Maybe it was just that Akane didn't seem to care that much for okonomiyaki.   
  
Okonomiyaki. He'd thought of the yattai as a disposable food source. He hated to admit it, but he had been wrong. (Not that he would ever admit it *aloud* anyway.) Nabiki had a talent for finding the best deals in supplies, Ukyou assaying their quality, and now both Kasumi and Ukyou were nearly matched in the art of the Japanese pizza. They weren't going to get rich, but they were eating regularly off the profits.  
  
Nabiki running scams, gambling operations, and shaking down adults for loose change further increased their net income.  
  
The real problem, Genma confessed to himself, was that control of the situation was slipping further and further out of his hands.  
  
Genma sighed and headed for one of the vending machines that would take his change. There was one with a selection of cold and hot drinks that had sake nearby. Maybe he could think better in the morning, after all, it HAD been a tiring day.  
  
And tomorrow he'd be ready for the training he'd always wanted to put Ranma through, a training that would make him invincible.  
  
He needed it. Poor Ranma was getting henpecked.  
  
---September 7, 1982----  
  
Kasumi was the first to wonder where Genma had taken her little brother/fiance Ranma. She crept up, wondering what great secrets were to be displayed that Uncle Genma would only teach Ranma.  
She'd had to patch Ranma up for the past three days and dealing with all the little cuts, scrapes, gouges, long sucking flesh wounds, claw marks, and bites had made Kasumi more than a little curious.   
  
She was joined a moment later by her seven year old sister Nabiki, who'd apparently seen big sister Kasumi sneaking off. With the absence of two of their number keenly felt, Akane and  
Ukyou had hidden the yattai and joined the other two just as Genma began tying something all over Ranma.   
  
"What's going on?" Akane blinked at the scene before her. The six year old could see Uncle Genma tying something all over Ranma. "Is this the secret training?"  
  
Nabiki held a finger over her lips and scowled at the little girl. "Shhhh. It's a secret. We're not s'pposed to know about it."   
  
Ukyou and Kasumi nodded sagely at that.   
  
After a moment, Nabiki frowned. "Something stinks."  
  
"Fish," Akane whispered. "Smells like fish."  
  
"No. Smells like cat crap." Ukyou had been raised in Kansai and knew the smell of fish quite well. The underlying smell was also familiar to her from her Aunt Beru's house. "Lots of cat crap."   
  
Genma reached over and opened a trap door, and the smell of cats that had been cooped up for over a week became quite a bit stronger.   
  
"Wow," Akane held her nose. "Must be a lotta kitties in there."   
  
They could hear Ranma now, pleading with his father not to throw him in. He'd been good, he hadn't told anyone. There was the slap of flesh and they could also hear Genma berating Ranma for acting weak and soft, like a dumb girl. He shook the boy, threatening to make Ranma wear one of Kasumi's dresses.(2)   
  
Akane suppressed a giggle. Weak and soft? All this time, and Unca Genma didn't know them very well, did he?   
  
Kasumi frowned. She only had the two dresses, and she didn't want Ranma to ruin either of them.   
  
Nabiki frowned. Weak, soft, and dumb? She'd have to make sure Ranma didn't take his father's words to heart. Fortunately, little brother had learned to listen to his big sisters.  
  
Ukyou frowned too. She didn't want to see her Ranchan all cut up and bloody again. She hoped this training would be over soon. Her heart went out to her poor fiance.   
  
"He's tied Ranma all up? He's...throwing Ranma in?" There was something about this which disturbed Kasumi greatly.  
  
"That weird." Akane tried to figure out how Ranma could learn a martial arts move all tied up like that. Maybe it was an escape technique or some ninja trick...   
  
Nabiki's jaw almost hit the bottom of the pipe she was in. "That not weird. It crazy!"   
  
The yowling started as Genma slammed the lid back into place and moved off to where he had a nice bottle of sake warming in the ashes of a fire. Ranma started to scream.   
  
Kasumi began to back away. "Oh no. oh no. oh no."  
  
"What's wrong, Kasumi?" Akane looked up. Maybe her big sister knew what kind of technique this was.   
  
"He's feeding Ranma to those cats!" Kasumi could scarcely believe it. That explained all the claw and bite marks, but it wasn't the sort of thing Kasumi had wanted to believe.  
  
All four of the young girls were petrified by the evil ogre that must have taken over Uncle Genma. Usually he was mean, petty, obtuse, irritating, and harsh...but this!   
  
"What're we gonna do?" Akane pulled back further into her pipe. She didn't want to be fed to cats! She didn't want to be fed to anything! She'd been begging Unca Genma to learn special techniques, but now...   
  
"Maybe he'll just be satisfied with killing Ranma?" Nabiki said hopefully. She'd miss little brother...  
  
"HEY!" Ukyou drew her spatula, finding Kasumi a heartbeat later drawing HER spatula. "That's OUR fiance he's feedin' to those dumb cats!"   
  
"Hmmmph," Nabiki hmphed as she slipped out of the pipe. What was hers was hers and she was gonna keep it in the best condition she could!   
  
"R-right." Akane swallowed. She was a martial artist and a martial artist defended the weak. Even if it was her annoying brother/fiance.   
  
A moment later, four screaming young girls proceeded to try to beat the stuffings out of a man who had just been leaning back to enjoy some sake. Either the screams from the pit or the sake  
seemed to have covered up much of the approach of the four.  
  
However, Kasumi was only eight (though she'd be nine very soon). Nabiki a mere seven years old. Akane and Ukyou were all of six. Even though they handled themselves as if much older, they  
weren't that effectual. Genma had never gotten around to teaching them teamwork.   
  
They didn't realize that attacking together like this, to save Ranma from the evil ogre, that they were setting a precedent.  
  
When the screaming abruptly stopped, so did the fight above the pit. Ukyou, dangling from where Genma had lifted her by the scruff of her shirt, immediately started crying about Ranma being  
dead.   
  
Akane started sniffling too, from her position of having one of Genma's ankles in a scissors lock. Not that she would show any sign of weakness like actually liking Ranma...  
  
Nabiki and Kasumi started to cry too, Ranma had gotten eaten and now the ogre would be coming after them! They wanted to run, but they couldn't abandon their sisters!   
  
Down in the dark, Something awoke and heard the crying. It responded. "Mrrrroooooooowwwwww!"   
  
Genma looked up from where he was trying to untangle himself from the four girls when the trap door came flying off the hinges. It started to rain cats.   
  
"Mrrrroowwwwwww!" The Cat moved out of the smelly dark hole, then looked around at its surroundings. Some of those watching could have sworn one of his ears twitched.  
  
"Could it be? Have you learned the Cat Fist?" Genma started to analyze the odd pose the child had. Without thinking about it, he kicked Akane loose and tossed Ukyou to the side where she was out of the way. She'd taken worse falls during training anyway.   
  
"Hisssssssss." Ranma leapt forward, eyes gleaming.   
  
Genma landed a few feet away, having blocked and evaded.  
  
"That wasn't that impressive," Genma said with a frown, he'd expected more out of a technique that was described as "invincible." He looked down, noticing the long cuts that had gone through the front of his gi and made shallow lines across his chest. "On second thought..."  
  
There was a loud clang as Ukyou managed to rebound from her landing point, bounce off a wall, and bring her spatula into play. Genma went down at least for the moment.  
  
"Ranma's acting like a cat?" Nabiki blinked as she watched her little brother/fiance. Uncle Genma had called this the 'cat fist?' "Cat fist means acting like a cat?"  
  
Ranma hissed again as Genma began to rise. His currently feline mind perceived the large male as a threat. He prepared to slice, dice, and make okonomiyaki filling out of the threat.  
  
"Here kitty kitty, nice kitty!" Kasumi smiled and knelt down. "Nice kitty!"   
  
"Mrrrrrr?" Ranma noted that the Threat was staying over there. Warm lap provider was over here signalling that she wanted to commence grooming. Well, if she insisted.   
  
The three other girls weren't particularly jealous, each wanted to be the next one to have kitty-Ranma in their lap. How nice, now they had a pet!   
  
Kasumi started smoothing Ranma's hair as he snuggled into her lap. Ukyou followed Kasumi's example, as she usually did, stroking along the line of Ranma's spine. Ranma purred.   
  
Genma blinked. "Well, so much for the 'invincible' cat fist." It had been quickly defeated by the dreaded Kasumi Charm Attack. He turned his attention back to the book. Maybe one of these other techniques...   
  
Hmmm. Maybe the dreaded Scorned Woman Fury?   
  
----January 3, 1983----  
  
Genma immediately noticed that there was one body too many at the campsite. Which one it was, THAT was more difficult to tell. They'd all started wearing each other's clothing, well except for Kasumi who was still the biggest of the children. Ranma wouldn't wear the girl's clothes, of course, but the unisex or training clothes tended to make the rounds.   
  
"What's going on here?" Genma started rubbing his temples. He was sure that this was why he had gone bald. Or maybe it was when he had stolen that ruby eye from that idol... No, it HAD to be trying to take care of all these kids!   
  
"What do you mean, Uncle?" Nabiki looked up from her textbooks. "We're just studying."   
  
Genma's eyes roved until he found an extra Akane. "All right, who are you, and why are you here?"  
  
"She's here because she's running away from home, where she was whipped and beaten by her mother." Nabiki noted, turning another page of the Economics textbook. That it was a high school  
textbook two years out of date was of little import, she found the subject fascinating.   
  
"That's not any concern of ours!" Genma frowned. He would NOT budge on this. There were FAR too many children here as it was. Even with the yattai being a continuing source of income, and Nabiki shaking the crowds down for money and getting additional funds somehow. Even with the Meal Machine getting the occasional kickback from insurance companies and various clients for investigating pesky poltergeists and mischievous monsters.  
  
There was only so far that he could tolerate these shennanigans!  
  
"She brought money," Nabiki continued.  
  
"I won't...how much money?" Genma shook his head. "Absolutely not. No. My word is final on this! NO MORE KIDS!"   
  
------March 9, 1983-----  
  
"Can I be engaged to Ranma too?" Kodachi inquired sweetly.   
  
"Why me?" Genma asked of the heavens.  
  
"Look, you want to avoid the authorities, we don't want 'Dachi to be hauled back in front of a mother who'd do THAT to her." Nabiki winked at Kodachi, she'd sell her a 'fiancee to Ranma' membership card later. (A surprisingly popular commodity that she'd begun mass producing.)  
  
Ranma, oblivious as he was used to getting tag-teamed by the girls, was tonight's cook manning the yattai. Under the watchful eyes of Ukyou and Kasumi he was getting much better at the  
various chores. Especially if he thought of it as martial arts training.   
  
"Uncle Genma," purred Nabiki. As Ranma wasn't around she could act somewhat feline. "You should consider China."   
  
"China?" Genma paused. It was said that there were secret martial arts techniques and styles in China that were unknown to those in Japan. Then there was Tibet, which had some pretty spiffy martial arts masters...   
  
Nabiki had been one of those saying such things. "Yes, I'll bet we could do really well in China." She saw that their guardian was hooked, now she used her ace to reel him in. "Just look at this brochure..."   
  
"Martial Arts Training Grounds, Secret, Mystic, and Cursed," Genma read off the label. The label and a few key points were in Japanese, the rest was in Chinese. He looked up, the thought of learning special secret techniques quite apparent on his face. "China, eh?"   
  
---November 3, 1983-----  
  
"That was NOT a nice thing to do, Akane!" Kasumi scolded her younger sister. "You know Ranma's scared of cats."   
  
"But I wanted to show 'Dachi-chan." Akane looked down and scuffed the toe of her shoe in the dirt. "Besides, _I_ never got to have Ranma-kitty in MY lap."  
  
"Now we've got to get him out of that tree," said Kasumi shaking her head, wondering what else could go wrong today. This was nearly as bad as the time Akane had gotten Ranma to go Neko and then spent a couple of hours teasing him with a squirt gun. It had taken HOURS to get Ranma to come out from under that house.   
  
"Don't worry, Kodachi's gotta idea." Akane smiled and pointed at where Kodachi was getting ready to start throwing large objects.   
  
Kasumi started running. It was a pity that those other girls, particularly the bookish one, couldn't have come with them. Someone responsible to keep a check on the littler ones. Either that girl Ami or that girl Makoto would have been able to keep Akane out of trouble. Well, mostly.  
  
"Meoo-ouuuchhh!"   
  
---------February 19, 1984-----  
  
"Ooofff!" Ranma and someone else went down in a tangle.  
  
"-Watch where you're going you stupid oaf!-" The little girl picked herself up, noting how tough the boy had been. Built much more solidly than Mousse, she guessed.   
  
"-I sorry. Not mean I to get in way.-"  
  
Shampoo hmmmphed and looked at the boy. "-You are coward then, to come bump into an Amazon and then go bowing and scraping when you find that it is I that you have tangled with?-"  
  
"-What mean? I sorry. Not understand very goodly.-" Ranma had never gotten the hang of Mandarin beyond the simple phrases used when selling okonomiyaki.   
  
"She called you a coward," said an old woman who was watching the events unfold with a smile.   
  
"COWARD?!" The eight year old boy glowered at the purple haired girl. "You take that back, you dope!"  
  
Cologne translated. "-He disagrees, and suggests that you retract that statement quickly.-"   
  
"-Oh yeah? Make me, stupid boy!-" Shampoo was in the boy's face, certain that this mere male would flee with his tail between his legs. Just to start him off, she sent a punch towards  
his stomach.   
  
Ranma blocked and counterpunched, landing a solid blow to Shampoo's chin. After all that time sparring with Akane and the others, hitting violent girls was an option.  
  
Shampoo's eyes widened then narrowed. How DARE he lay a hand on her! Stupid outsider food-seller boy!   
  
Cologne watched as the two began to seriously go about the task of beating the other into a pulp. She allowed a smile to crease her ancient face as she noted the skill level that the boy was using. He was good, and Shampoo had very few challenges in her age range. A sort of rival might cause her to improve some of the holes she had in her repertoire.   
  
That thought ended after Ranma pinned Shampoo to the ground.  
  
"I win! You gotta take that back about me being a coward!"   
  
"-Shampoo, can you get free?-"  
  
Shampoo struggled briefly, thrashing around in the dust, then looked with wild eyes at her great-grandmother. "-No.-"  
  
"-Then tell him he's not a coward. Then, when he lets you up, give him the Kiss of Marriage.-"   
  
"-I've got to be fourteen to give the Kiss Of Marriage!-" Shampoo shook her head. "-I'm only  
eight!-"   
  
"-So it'll be a Kiss of Engagement, instead. At least this is something you can use to eventually get Mousse off your back.-"   
  
Shampoo brightened considerably. Mousse could stop confessing how much he loved Shampoo, usually mistaking farm animals for her? "-Okay. I was wrong. Stranger male person is NOT a coward.-"   
  
Cologne translated, then watched with bemusement as Shampoo gave the Kiss of Engagement (followed by the Hug Of Friendship) to Ranma. She was even more amused when Kasumi and Ukyou came and dragged Ranma off a few minutes later.   
  
Nabiki sold Shampoo a bright shiny membership card.  
  
------February 21, 1984----  
  
"Shampoo try to remember. This is no good place. You no want to train here."   
  
"Ready yourself for a pounding, boy!" Genma took his place on one pole. The kids' skill levels had been rapidly improving, this would be a good exercise for determining their basic manueverability levels. On level ground, in mud, on ice (Akane had insisted they go ice skating), now on poles, he would mercilessly test them for any weakness to be pounded out of them.   
  
"Ready, when you are, old man!" Eight years old and full of himself, Ranma settled onto one of the poles.  
  
"Heh, I'll get you this time, Nabiki!"  
  
"In your dreams, 'Dachi!"   
  
"Oh my. Are you ready, Ukyou-chan?"  
  
"Of course, Kasumi-chan. I think that village down the road ought to be good for some business tomorrow and we can replenish supplies there..." Ukyou shrugged, martial arts were important but okonomiyaki made it all possible. As Nabiki said, it was important to keep an eye on the bottom line.  
  
"Are you scared, bimbo?" Akane still wasn't completely sure what the word meant, but it was an insult and Uncle Genma had given plenty of advice on using words as weapons. Mainly that it should be done as often as possible.   
  
"Bimbo? You mean poor? Shampoo Amazon princess! Shampoo show violent girl benefit of Amazon training!" Shampoo didn't want to get near these pools, but she had to think of the honor  
of the Amazon tribe!   
  
A leaf blew across the field. Eight people leapt from their poles to engage in mid-air battles and then land on another pole. At least that was how it started.   
  
The Jusenkyo Guide watched and relaxed slightly. Maybe this would work out. They were all very, very, good. Several were getting close to the far end as they leapt, fought, and then landed on  
the next set of poles.   
  
"How dare you steal my bride!" Mousse wasn't wearing his glasses again. Not that this did much good. He shot off a barrage of chains to snag his Shampoo free of danger.  
  
Timing and concentration were lost as Ranma found himself enveloped in chains in mid leap. "HEY!"  
  
Like a row of dominos, the effects of this distraction spread. Leaps were mis-timed, blocks missed. Give 'em a break, they were only kids.   
  
A series of splashes could be heard with a certain Jusenkyo Guide spinning a tale of woe.   
  
"AAAAAAaaaa!" Nabiki collided with her opponent and the two became acquainted with different springs.  
  
"Growf?!" An enraged panda leapt up from a spring but realized that there was something wrong with this picture. Very very wrong with this picture. The sight before him penetrated even the rage at having an unexpected bath.   
  
"GraRRRRRRR!" Kodachi didn't think too highly of this development. She lashed her tail and snarled.  
  
"Grunt!!!!"   
  
"Kiiiii kiiiiii!"   
  
Kasumi and Shampoo slammed into a patch of open ground after a crescent edged blade on the end of one of Mousse's chains sheared through a pole and the two collided in midair trying to avoid it.  
  
The ground collapsed under them and Kasumi screamed briefly as the water started pouring up around her.   
  
"ROARRRRRRRR!" Ranma glanced around. In the simpler worldview of an eight year old, this was all kinda neat. All sorts of animals everywhere, but... hey, that was 'Sumi and Shamchan and they weren't coming up!   
  
Wings shifted slightly and Ranma dove into the pool.  
  
"Ranchan?" A winged Ukyou settled next to the dragon as he pulled the two figures out.   
  
"Grunnnnn," Ranma-ryu managed. "Aruuuu."  
  
"They're not breathing. You get Kasumi, I'll get Shamchan."   
  
"Hrunnn." Ranma spared a moment to give a funny look to Ukyou, not at ALL sure how she'd managed to understand him.  
  
The Jusenkyo Guide scratched his head. There was something wrong with this picture.   
  
"Hrunf!" A rhino exclaimed as she stared at a Chinese boy. Said Chinese boy was wiping his glasses.  
  
"Grrrrrrrrrr," the black tiger said, looking quite annoyed.   
  
"Kiyaaa kiyaa!" (Splash!) "Ack! I missed. Hey! I'm human again!"   
  
"Uhm. Looks like the curses mix. Who were you?"  
  
"What do you mean, Ukyou?"   
  
"Hrunnn?!"   
  
Mousse put his glasses back on. He lost them a moment later when a very young rhino ran over him, stopped, then ran over him again. A tiger pounced on him and tossed the boy over her shoulder.   
  
The Guide brought the extra large kettle out. The rhino changed back into a Japanese girl who immediately started beating on the Chinese boy. The tiger was turned back into another Japanese girl who grabbed up a long ribbon and started wielding it like a whip on the very same Chinese boy. The dragon was turned back into a darkhaired Japanese boy.  
  
Other things changed into other kids.   
  
"Very sad, very terrible tragic story," the Guide said, changing a panda back into the leader of this expedition. "You want short or long version?"   
  
"Uhm. Can it wait until we get away from the springs?"  
  
----still April 21, 1984----  
  
Genma groaned. He had been sure that this would be a great training ground, and had insisted they go to Jusenkyo.  
  
Now he turned into a panda, Genma raised his tear-tracked eyes to the heavens. "Why?!"   
  
Behind him, Ukyou was doing a handstand on the back of a running rhino.   
  
"Oh, the horrors of one's loss of humanity!" Genma continued to cry at the heavens. "Of being trapped in a form not your own!"   
  
Kasumi joyfully yelling "Giddyap Ranma!" and flying overhead aboard a dragon temporarily undermined the mood, but Genma rallied.   
  
"How could the kami inflict such a tragedy on poor children!" Genma paled as he thought of returning home with a menagerie in tow. Nodoka finding a good recipe for panda. Kuonji-san might not be too unhappy with his daughter now having wings as she was otherwise unchanged...or panda okonomiyaki might be for sale.   
  
"Race you, Shampoo," said one winged Shampoo to the other.   
  
"To village and back, Nabiki? You on!"  
  
"Of course if SOME of the kids hadn't gone back for their clothes..." grumbled Genma.   
  
Ranma in his Kasumi form rode a unicorn past his father.  
  
"But the horrors of the situation..." Genma pictured trying to explain how Ranma's cursed form could shapechange to human, but as the result of mixed curses he could only change into one form. A female one. That just happened to look and act like his eldest "sister" - except that Ranma was three years younger and seemed to be unchanged in physical strength.  
  
A giggling Akane sped past, being carried around by an oversized black tiger cub.   
  
"Why, someone tell me why!" Genma raised his fist to the uncaring sky.   
  
"-Because you're an idiot,-" the returning Nabiki said without any trace of sarcasm. She said it in Mandarin as needlessly antagonizing their chaperone would only cause problems later.   
  
Unfortunately, Genma _had_ learned the Mandarin word for idiot.  
  
-------April 23, 1984-------  
  
"Ni hao!" Nabiki bowed, Japanese fashion to the Elder. With the amount of lore she'd receive here, she could make quite a bit of money as a Chinese herbist back in Japan.  
  
"Today we begin your training, young lady," Cologne watched the girl carefully. Yes, she had some promise there. Her cursed form may LOOK like a winged Shampoo, but the shorter hair  
and tendency to be constantly eating something revealed her identity to those who paid attention to such things.  
  
Of course, Mousse didn't have a clue.   
  
"All right," Nabiki grinned confidently. "Let's see what youth and cunning can do against old age and tricky..."   
  
Cologne grinned back. "We'll see about that, won't we?"  
  
She wondered if perhaps that Genma was correct. Could this eight year old have the spirit of an Amazon? Or was that merely another con the old panda was trying to pull? Though Shampoo going with them meant she had a chance to get to know her husband-to-be better.   
  
------June 28, 1984------  
  
"It's a deal then," Genma smiled at the young man. Kasumi seemed to like him, so this white haired young practitioner of the healing arts would have an apprentice in something useful (and he'd break Kasumi's influence over Ranma at the same time!)   
  
"Come child," said the man, who refused to give his name as anything but "the Healer Brother." She would later learn that his name was Toki.   
  
"What kind of healing art is it that you practice, anyway, Mr. Brother?" Kasumi stared up at the muscular figure.  
  
"It was originally an assassin's art, but it is also useful for healing as you will see. My own style within it is the Gentle Fist technique, and the name for the school is Hokuto Shin  
Ken."   
  
"Oh," said Kasumi, impressed. Great Bear God Fist style. It certainly sounded very impressive. Maybe it was possible for her to cure Ranma's Jusenkyo curse with such skills. Or at least Akane's curse. Her youngest sister wasn't too happy with turning into a rhinoceros.  
  
And as a unicorn was her cursed form, there was just all sorts of things she might be able to learn to do!   
  
--------July 14, 1984------  
  
"I thought you said they can cure my Jusenkyo curse so that Ranma can tolerate my presence again. HEY!" A struggling Kodachi vanished into the depths of the temple.  
  
"That the Northstar school is seeking to pass some few of its techniques on to an outsider is surprising," said the gray-haired general with a nod. "There can be only ONE practitioner of the school, after all."   
  
"Yes, but he won't teach her all the techniques, after all," said Genma confidently. He reached to refill his wineglass. "Just enough to ensure that if the coming conflagration DOES occur, that not all the secrets will be lost. So instead of Hokuto Shin Ken, the rival of Kodachi will be learning ju-ken, or the gentle fist technique."  
  
"An interesting thought, in which case her lifelong rival might benefit from training in one of the opposing schools," acknowledged the sensei. "I think that one will do best in the Southern Cross Waterfowl Fist techniques."  
  
"No doubt," agreed Genma, having no idea what the other was talking about. "What of her Jusenkyo curse? CAN you cure it?"   
  
"There is no cure for a Jusenkyo curse," the elder shrugged. It wasn't the first time he would be proven to be wrong. "Though they can be modified. If successful, she will only transform when she is angered beyond all reason."  
  
-----August 3, 1984-------  
  
"Shampoo not going to strange foreign land, stupid panda just try to sell off remaining students." Shampoo looked over at the girl next to her. "Ranma come back to village with Shampoo?"   
  
"Maybe he wants to go back HOME," chided Akane. "After all, his memories of China can't be that pleasant with us getting cursed and all."   
  
"So... Shampoo can make sure Ranma does get some pleasant memories!"   
  
Ranma slumped against a tree. "Gee, trade me off like I was okonomiyaki, why don't you," she muttered. She kept it quiet though, having learned THAT lesson over the years. She was currently wearing her Kasumi form as her cooking skills seemed to improve slightly in that form.   
  
"What do you mean pleasant memories!?" Akane got in Shampoo's face, blushing slightly as she filled in the blanks. "We're still only eight, y'know!"   
  
"Shampoo turn nine this week. Airen turn nine last month. Shampoo also know how to be cute and nice to airen, unlike Akane!" Shampoo wasn't thinking of the same sort of games Akane was.   
  
"WHAT was that? Would you care to repeat that?"  
  
Ranma wondered if she could just sneak away this time or if it would precipitate the fight sequence.   
  
"Ranchan?"   
  
Too late, realized Ranma.   
  
Genma returned to the camp a few hours later and grunted. The scene was of a long and difficult battle waged here. At least they weren't letting up in their training.   
  
-------November 3, 1984------  
  
"Why me?"   
  
"Because, Akane, this style suits you pretty well." Genma gestured to the dojo behind him. "You know that the strength of the Anything Goes style is that it incorporates other styles into itself, emphasizing the strength of diversity."  
  
"So have Ukyou, or Shampoo, or Ranma learn this stuff!" Akane turned her nose up. She was in one of her frequent "snarked off" phases, angry over Ranma hogging the granola bars on the trip up the mountain. Akane was _so_ damn tired of okonomiyaki.   
  
"I'll learn it," Ranma said, having reverted to girl form again on the trip. She was beginning to get tired of the effort to find the hot water and switch back only to get tagged shortly thereafter. Maybe staying in one area she could at least keep some hot water handy.   
  
Besides, with his cursed form, Fierce Dragon sounded like a perfect martial art.   
  
"No, absolutely not," Genma said, panicking slightly. "Ranma is the heir of the Saotome half of the school, and should learn from me."   
  
"If airen stay, then Shampoo stay!"  
  
"Likewise. No way I'm gonna leave Ranchan to starve on this damn mountain."   
  
"Shampoo make sure airen not starve, Ukyou and Violent Pervert Girl go find other masters to study under. Is no problem."   
  
"HEY!" Akane glared at Shampoo. "Bimbo!"  
  
"Tomboy!" Shampoo countered, rolling up her sleeves.  
  
Ukyou started to lean on Ranma but glares from the two soon-to-be-combatants convinced her that this would not be tolerated.   
  
Ranma was careful not to grumble too loud, but her expression said it all. She was tired of being a bone of contention, just an excuse for fights to break out. It wasn't like anyone here  
actually cared about her. Only Kasumi really cared about her, and Kasumi cared about everybody. Well, maybe Ukyou. She could be really nice to him, then get all ticked off and shaking him about him not understanding something. She never did explain *what* he didn't understand.   
  
Genma waited until Akane was laid out on the ground, then carried the girl off. She could learn the Fierce Dragon style, and would earn her keep here. It wasn't like she could man the yattai.  
  
--------June 1, 1985------  
  
"...so Shampoo go back to village," Shampoo nodded at the three other children. "Still have much to learn in Amazonian Wu Shu."   
  
"Good bye, Shampoo, we'll miss you." Ukyou was both happy and sad at the same time. More time with Ranchan, but she got along a lot better with Shampoo when they weren't fighting over Ranma. Unlike with Akane, Ukyou didn't have to worry about the yattai catching fire or the customers getting food poisoning while Shampoo was working as cook.   
  
"Wow, I'll write you, Shampoo," Ami said. Actually getting to participate in another of their adventures had given her a great appreciation for the Amazon. Watching Shampoo bounce off a bannister to catch the Hairy Hunchback of Himoto Hall in the head with a Circle Kick, it had been quite educational.   
  
"Shampoo miss Mizuno-san. You come to Village be guest of Shampoo, show Ami many many Amazon wonders!" Shampoo had been a little surprised by some of the friends she'd made. Neither Kasumi nor this Ami were warriors like herself, but they were nice friends nonetheless.  
  
"I'll miss you too, Shampoo." Ranma gave the Chinese girl a light squeeze. "It's gonna be strange without you around."   
  
"Ship over there, Myou no maru, have connections to Amazon village," Shampoo confided. "You need get word to Shampoo, you find ship. Otherwise see Airen and Ukyou after sixteenth birthday. Then Shampoo win big tournament and come back for Airen."   
  
"Hey, I won't let him go THAT easily!" Ukyou grinned. After all, she had time to win Ranma all by herself now.   
  
"Neither will Shampoo," the Amazon declared with a similar grin. "Ukyou take very good care of Airen! Bie bie."  
  
Genma, watching from a distance, smirked. One down, one to go. Ami was just another of those girls who would go home after adventuring once or twice. Surely she would have no influence on  
his son, and would be forgotten about in short order.  
  
Thunder rumbled.   
  
----August 3, 1985----  
  
Genma grinned. The yattai and Ukyou were back with Kuonji-san, to "complete her training in okonomiyaki style martial arts" because her "family school shouldn't be neglected." It had been a spark of brilliance on his part, Genma felt without a trace of modesty.   
  
Ranma was still off sulking, as he had been for the past few days. He hadn't said a word in over a week, protesting the last of the girls leaving, no doubt. Well, he'd get over it.  
  
"C'mon, Ranma, we've got to go." Genma walked over to the sulking boy. "Ranma!"   
  
Genma stopped when he noticed that the clothes had filled out with a scarecrow. Come to think of it, he hadn't seen Ranma do a heck of a lot over the past week.   
  
Rubbing his temples again, Genma decided to start at the Kuonji restaurant and work his trail backwards. He hadn't thought that Ranma had missed any of the girls THAT much.   
  
If nothing else, maybe Kuonji-san had some aspirin.  
  
-------December 24, 1985-----  
  
Genma entered Nerima to find that his wife had indeed moved into the slightly larger Tendo household. She hadn't wanted to originally, but maintaining both had been too much effort.  
  
Sneaking about, he was able to determine that Ranma was not here, nor was he at the locked up Saotome house in Juuban.   
  
Genma scratched his head, and presented the very picture of a puzzled if not perplexed panda. Ranma was not here, not with the Kuonji family, not at the dojo of the Fierce Dragon school, and  
Genma did not think it likely that Ranma would have gone back to China.   
  
Where would a nine year old martial artist boy-that-turned-into-a-dragon-that-turned-into-a-girl be?  
  
----Elsewhere------  
  
"Hey, I just asked ya if ya knew where I could find the Tendo dojo," Ranma looked around. "NOW where are we?"   
  
"Uhm, Okinawa?" Ryouga looked at the hot humid jungle around them.   
  
"If thou had but listened to my directions, we would be there already, though it be but an abandoned building upon which horror stories are built."   
  
"It's not abandoned," Ranma swatted at a few bugs that got too close. "My mother's living there now according to the neighbors at her old place."   
  
"Ah, my goddess with a ponytail, then let us fly there that you may introduce me to thy mother!"   
  
"Not the goddess. I'm a guy. I just...well, okay, I'm a girl at the moment. Let me find some hot water and I'll show you the curse." Ranma was uncomfortable with the attention. He was well aware that he had some of Kasumi's mannerisms in this form, and didn't like it.   
  
"Stupid stick boy leave Ranma alone!"  
  
"Are you sure that blow to the head..."  
  
"No, Ryouga, I'm not making this up." Ranma stopped and pointed. "Pardon me, but are there little guys not wearing much of anything but warpaint commonly found in Okinawa? I musta  
missed that class."   
  
"Aiyaa. They smell worse than Musk Dynasty warriors. You think we offend thems?"   
  
Kuno blocked and noted the arrow quivering in the wood of his bokken. "Methinks discretion be the wisest course in this matter."   
  
"Translation," Ranma said, grabbing Ryouga's hand so he wouldn't get lost. She didn't notice Ryouga's blush that began when she did that. "He means run like your life depended on it, cause it might. On the count of three. One, two,..."  
  
Kuno was already fifty yards away, sprinting down a trail.  
  
"Oh HELL, come on!" Ranma started dragging Ryouga along behind her as arrows began flying around them. Maybe she ought to switch to dragon, except she might kill some of 'em. It was so hard to control the extreme mood swings of the dragon.  
  
Especially with Shampoo cheering for the gratuitous violence scenes.   
  
-------  
  
Kasumi's fingers darted and danced across the shiatsu points, her expression screwed up in concentration. The twelve year old was a fast student, and Toki was well pleased with his apprentice.  
  
"Stop, Kasumi."   
  
Kasumi stopped, her last tap having missed the target area entirely. "Oh darn."   
  
"Up until then, you were doing fine. THAT point, though, combined with the anesthetic point and the clear mind point would have given the target a bad case of niceness. Try again."  
  
Kasumi nodded but fixed the combination strike in her mind. You never know when that might come in handy. She'd already learned several odd shiatsu attacks that way.   
  
----   
  
Akane smiled at her sempai. So _cute_! And unlike Ranma he didn't turn into anything.   
  
The two elder students were similar in build if in nothing else. Ryu was the dedicated fighter. There wasn't much in his life beyond the Art. Akane had thought he was kind of mysterious and  
attractive. Except that he'd taken one look at her cursed form and started laughing at her. Now she was convinced that he was a jerk.  
  
Ken, though, Ken was special. He had a sense of humor, and had a smile that sent a little thrill along Akane's spine. He was serious, sometimes, irreverant at other times, and Ryu's near equal in the Fierce Dragon style. He was American too, which made him exotic and fascinating to  
Akane. The way she felt about Ken Masters was a LOT different from the way she felt about her "brother" Ranma.   
  
He'd described her cursed form of a rhino as "kinda neat." Especially as the size of the rhino wasn't terribly big, almost small pony size. Handy when they needed to knock over trees, too.   
  
Now if she could just get him to notice her. He was only three years older, after all.   
  
------   
  
Nabiki wiped the smirk from her face. "Hey, I don't just sell these to ANYONE, you know."   
  
Vanilla nodded, and met Nabiki's gaze with her own red eyes. Other than those eyes and her clothes, everything about Vanilla was pale as if all the color had been drawn from a normal amazon. Even her voice seemed to lack color and vibrancy. "Yes, I have heard that you have actually turned down some who wished to make this purchase."   
  
The ten year old Japanese girl regarded the eight year old albino Amazon for a moment. "Can you meet the qualifications?"   
  
Vanilla nodded and lifted the basket.   
  
Nabiki took it, grinning as she saw the booty within. Vanilla was a fair warrior, a lousy tracker, and couldn't hold a tune if it had handles, but when precision and a deft hand were required, she was excellent. She'd turned out to be an excellent seamstress.   
  
"You haven't told me why you wanted this," Nabiki said, handing Vanilla an official "fiancee of Ranma" membership card.   
  
"I have heard the married women talk. Some talk of the joy that they have found, others talk of the carnal pleasures they enjoy, while others speak of how angry their mates make them." Vanilla blinked as she studied the card. "I...just want to feel _something._"   
  
Cologne cleared her throat and entered the hut, causing Vanilla to excuse herself and go about her duties. "Nabiki, something I have suspected for a long time has just become a matter of concern, what do you consider an engagement to mean?"   
  
"It's a financial arrangement where two or more pull together for the common good," Nabiki shrugged. "Uncle Genma explained the whole thing to me a long time ago. Usually it's just one guy and his wife, why?"   
  
Cologne began to explain. She pulled out charts and slides and pictures, she explained what went where and why, she explained the legal ramifications, but skipped over the socio political history of the custom when she noticed something.   
  
Nabiki hadn't blinked in over five minutes.   
  
-----December 24,1985-------  
  
"What wrong with you, Nabiki Tendo?" Yuan came running up beside the Japanese girl. "You look like you just lost money."   
  
"Uhm, Yuan. I...really don't want to talk about this now." Nabiki thought a cold shower, and some time alone, THAT was what she really needed right now.   
  
"What? You forget? Tonight big night!" The young male kept up with his sempai, grateful of a chance to be of use to one of the few females of the village who wasn't openly contemptuous of him.   
  
"What, Gilligan's Island marathon on satellite?"   
  
"You do forget. Tonight very important event. Nabiki must be there."   
  
"Not tonight, Yuan," Nabiki moaned. "What is so important that you have to have me there?"   
  
"Is visitor who expert on Jusenkyo curses. Is visitor YOU request, remember? Is Ancient Traveler."   
  
"Oh yeah," Nabiki shook her head. "Kinda slipped my mind after Cologne's little pep talk. I'll be there, don't sweat it..."   
  
Yuan stopped, puzzled. "I don't understand that girl at all sometimes." He shrugged a moment later, Nabiki was teaching him this "finance" stuff, but he planned on challenging her to combat eventually. And then as husband and wife he would have years to try and understand her.   
  
----December 25, 1985----  
  
He was ancient by the standards of many races, and he was known to quite a few of them as well. Some called him a meddler, others called him a friend, more referred to him by the name he usually gave.   
  
He was the Doctor.   
  
Opening the door to a police call box, he was greeted by the whine of servo-motors. "Any problems while I was gone, K-9?"   
  
"Negative, Master." The robot answered from the vast depths within. "Were there any problems with the retrieval?"   
  
"No, and that's strange. Not that I'm questioning my good fortune." He grinned as the little robot scooted past him into the clearing. "Large village, the Dalek Space/Time Oscillation Bomb obviously in a place of honor in a central hut, but there were no guards to be seen anywhere."   
  
"Master," the roughly dog shaped robot interrupted. "I am registering several lifeforms approaching this area at high speed."   
  
"What?" The Doctor looked up and held the door to the TARDIS open. "They must have discovered their idol missing. Quickly, K-9."   
  
"Aaaaaaaaaaa," said a nine year old girl as she shot past the Doctor, pulling a similarly aged boy behind her. The Doctor idly noted that the boy's feet weren't anywhere near the ground from the speed the girl was managing.   
  
Another girl shot past. "RANMA! Shampoo right here! You change to dragon we fly into battle, yes?"   
  
"Massive number of lifeforms approaching at high speed, Master," K-9 said as he trundled back into the TARDIS. "Shall I use a wide beam STUN setting?"   
  
"PONY TAILED GIRL!" A ten year old boy in what appeared to be a kendo outfit shot through the still open door of the TARDIS, managing to trip over K-9 and send both tumbling inside.   
  
With a sigh, the Doctor entered, closed the door in the face of a large crowd of enraged tribesmen, and looked at where his K-9 unit had one of his ear-antennae bent again. "No, I think that won't be necessary at the moment. I..."   
  
A sound that was a combination of a wheeze and a grind, terminating in a thump began to sound.   
  
"Oh dear," said the Doctor. It was going to be one of THOSE days. "Pardon me, get away from those controls."   
  
The assembled tribesmen blinked as the little phone booth sort of contraption vanished into thin air. After a few minutes debate, they decided to get back to the village.   
  
They'd at least chased those evil foreign developers off.   
  
----July 4, 1987----  
  
Akane inhaled, centering her "wa" and clearing her mind. She swept her arms through the circular motions she had been taught.   
  
It had taken her years. She was confident now that she was finally ready.   
  
"HADOKEN!" The eleven year old thrust her hands forward, every move being flawless.   
  
Nothing. The target sat, untouched.   
  
Ken sighed and clapped a hand to the younger girl's shoulder. "I wouldn't worry about it. You've got the hurricane kick down, you've got the basics down, you've almost got the shoryuken. You'll master the hadoken eventually."   
  
Akane nodded. She would get it eventually. She wanted it NOW, though. She wanted to keep up with Ken, not be some wimp...   
  
She didn't realize how much she resembled Ryu in her singleminded pursuit of a technique.   
  
--November 14, 1754-----  
  
"Know that I, Tatewaki Kuno, known as the Blue Thunder, shall ever carry thy wondrous beauty in mine heart."   
  
"C'mon, Kuno, the Doctor is leaving." Ranma bowed to the few who had shown up, gratified that with the rebuilding and harvest that ANYONE had shown up. She couldn't wait to get out of these clothes and into something that didn't scratch so much.   
  
Shampoo grinned, waved bye-bye, shouldered the really really nice pair of swords she'd stolen from and killed the evil warlord with, and whistled a jaunty little tune as she went inside the TARDIS.   
  
"Ah, but how can I bear to part from my adoring public?" Never mind that the adoring public were largely a group of kids and a cat. His skills with a sword were well appreciated in this era and THAT was a powerful inducement to linger. If he'd thought about it, he would have remembered the ancient Japanese adage "Bimbo hima nashi" (poor people have no leisure) and that these were just all the people who could spare time to see him off.   
  
"You really want to stay here and end up dying before you were born?" Ranma shrugged. "Suit yourself."   
  
"Thou speaketh the truth, fair maiden" Kuno bowed to the villagers, then entered the booth a little behind Ranma. Maybe they would meet Musashi next!   
  
"Kuno," said Ranma as she stopped at one of the doors in the TARDIS (Time And Relative Dimensions In Space) to look at the laggard samurai.   
  
"Yes, my love?"   
  
"Not fair. Not a maiden. Not your love. Keep it up and I'll kick you outside the TARDIS doors while we're in transit."   
  
"Ah, but my goddess..."   
  
"I'm not kidding, Kuno!"   
  
The Doctor looked on as Ranma threw her extra floppy hat on, adjusted her scarf, and went off to check the library to see if there were any more martial arts books that she hadn't read yet.   
  
"K-9?" The Doctor tugged unconciously at his own scarf. Ranma, especially in girl form, was picking up entirely too many of his own mannerisms.   
  
"Yes, Master?"   
  
"Keep an eye on her. Oh, and have you found Ryouga?"   
  
"Systems indicate that Ryouga is still on Deck 354, currently subsection D, Room 12."   
  
"Lost in the botany section again?"   
  
"Affirmative."   
  
The Doctor thought a moment. "The TARDIS incorporates many biological systems into its circuits."   
  
"Affirmative, Master." The mechanical dog extended a sensor probe which chatted briefly with the TARDIS itself.   
  
"I was just wondering if the navigational computer could have been built with his DNA as a component. Hmmm. Just a thought."   
  
K-9 trundled off to the library. Young Master/Mistress needed him. The translation effect of the TARDIS could only go so far, after all. Likewise, after Ranma had discovered the Teaching Machine, someone had to be there to coax her out of it.   
  
Data relayed from one of the nodes to K-9's sensor units. Ryouga was still lost in the botany bay. Tatewaki was following the young Master/Mistress. Shampoo was currently located on Deck 15. Simple course extrapolation indicated that she was going to the pool.   
  
The Doctor inspected the readings at the main control pillar. It looked like the next of the Dalek Space/Time Bombs would have ended up...   
  
-------   
  
Tatewaki Kuno was bored. Books and machines, that was all that was here in this vast Library within the TARDIS. Nothing to hold the attention of the samurai, particularly now that he had experienced firsthand an adventure in the era of the samurai.   
  
He was still carrying the daisho he'd picked up there, taken from a samurai who'd fallen in service to his Lord, whose last whispered plea had been for someone to save his Master.   
  
Kuno had. Well, the ponytailed girl and that Doctor person had assisted him. Even that confused Chinese girl had been of use. But as a result, Kuno proudly wore a true samurai's swords. All this at the bare age of ten!   
  
The samurai's gaze found itself lingering on the odd device that his pony-tailed goddess had entered. Much like a coffin, it had accepted her slight form and enclosed it. Now, supposedly, the device gently nudged her mind and imparted to her great secrets of times long gone and times yet to come.   
  
"K-9," came the Doctor's voice over the intercom. "Come to the control room, please, I could use your help with these coordinates."   
  
"A-ffirmative. Master." The dog-shaped device trundled off again.   
  
Kuno repressed a shudder. The dog-thing was so unnatural that he was rapidly developing an aversion to coming anywhere near it. On the other hand, Kuno smiled as he realized that he was alone with the girl who haunted his dreams. For all her claims of being a guy, Kuno knew better.   
  
How horrifying, to be a girl that not only changed into a guy when splashed with hot water, but to have a curse that confused her mind so much that she regarded her male cursed form as normal and the female as the curse. What a shame. Kuno had sworn that he would free his pony-tailed goddess of this delusion.   
  
The foreign woman wasn't helping, but she had been cured of her own curse by that odd malfunctioning "transmat" device, and this no doubt confused her.   
  
The device used cartridges the size of a hardback book, which fit into slots in the lid of the device. Kuno read the one that was in the device now, which was simply "Martial Arts Special Techniques: Volumn II (Bootleg Copy)."   
  
Kuno approved, sort of. It was that fire in the soul of young Ranma-chan that attracted him to her. Kuno's eye fell upon the racks of other cartridges then over to the other three empty slots in the machine.   
  
It would be dishonorable for a samurai to take advantage of a maiden's inattention. Yet, would it not also be part of bushido to assist another warrior with the... shortcomings of her training?   
  
Kuno looked over the various cartridges. Ah, just the thing. Clearly his fiery temptress did not know how to dress or act in proper feminine fashion. And here was another. Did not the pony-tailed girl often complain about her not understanding the various machines that they had encountered? Why, and here was one dealing with various traditional feminine skills such as cooking!   
  
Not, Kuno thought, that such was needed. His Ranma had proven herself to be exceptional at all manner of traditional feminine pursuits!   
  
Noting that all four slots were now filled, Kuno stepped back and nodded. She would thank him   
for his insight and understanding. No doubt her own pride kept her from using the machine to rectify her own shortcomings in these areas.   
  
-----------------   
  
A click and a light flashing off indicated that the first cartridge had finished. Kuno looked up from where he had been dusting his sword. Already? Hours had passed while he had been silently contemplating the happiness he would share with the pony-tailed girl.   
  
Kuno pulled out the first cartridge and thought for a moment. Looking over the cartridges, he noted that some were flagged in red, others with yellow borders, and two were still wrapped in some flimsy clear packing material.   
  
Kuno replaced the first cartridge with one of the yellow ones. Certainly the pony-tailed girl seemed to enjoy martial arts training. There was a typo on the label though, as it read "Marital Arts Training Vol III:Advanced Techniques."   
  
Kuno shrugged. There had to be something else to do around here. He thought he'd reset the device so it would start at the beginning again, though the labels were quite confusing. Obviously not made in Japan.   
  
K-9 returned, eight hours later (bringing Ryouga had taken much longer than it normally would have taken the little robot to manuever through the corridors.)   
  
The robot immediately noticed the odd choices, but a moment of processing indicated that the Master/Mistress was now of an age where curiosity of such things would be expected.   
  
---October 9, 1990----  
  
A fourteen year old girl swept her hands through a set of motions.   
  
"Draw strength from the earth," advised Ryu.   
  
"Let it flow THROUGH you," added Ken. "Don't try to control it so much as gently direct it."   
  
"HADOKEN!" Akane thrust her hands forward. The fireball slammed into the target.   
  
Akane held the pose for a moment before she started shaking her hands. "Ouch ow owie, hot hot hot."   
  
"You tried to force it," accused Ken.   
  
"Overconfident," judged Ryu.   
  
"Oh YEAH, you can talk!" Akane yelled at her fellow Japanese student, still wincing at the burns. "Mister 'It Only Took Me A Week To Learn The Hurricane Kick' thinks _I_ am overconfident?"   
  
"You mastered the manuever yourself," said Ryu with a shrug. "It just took you a little longer to avoid the dizzy spells immediately afterwards."   
  
"You've got the hadoken," said Ken gently to the little girl. "Now all you have to do is master it the way you do any other manuever."   
  
"It's odd, though," Ryu said thoughtfully. "When me or Ken do the manuever, it's just a ki blast. We don't usually set the target on fire." Ken and Akane looked at each other, then looked towards the target which was still smouldering.   
  
Akane blinked, then began to grin. "So I learned a new manuever BEFORE you two! Hah! Eat my dust!"   
  
Ryu nudged Ken as his sparring partner walked closer. "Gracious winner, isn't she?"   
  
"Ah, she's just used to being in our shadow. Give her a chance at the spotlight for once." Ken looked up to where Akane was now laughing maniacally. "Just in case though, let's cook her dinner to celebrate."   
  
"I don't wanna cook," Ryu glanced up at his friend. "Oh, right. Better us than her."   
  
"Just in time, too. Tomorrow she's supposed to go back and live in some place called Nerima..."   
  
----October 10, 1987----  
  
A phone booth-sized blue box briefly appeared in the street. A door opened, and a moment later a figure flew out of the doorway to impact upon one of the walls.   
  
A young girl stood in the doorway, dusting her hands off. "Kuno! You do this to Ranma, you get hurt very very bad. Next time I give you enema with own bokken!"   
  
"Kuno!" Ryouga came running out of the booth to stand in front of the kendoist. "How dare you take advantage of a helpless sweet girl like Ranma!"   
  
Ranma stared at the two, then quietly closed the door. It would not be proper to slam it. Shampoo paused for a moment, then shrugged. No need to concern herself with those two.   
  
"Pony-tailed girl," mumbled Kuno.   
  
"How dare you..." Ryouga's head snapped up. That odd wheeze-thump noise sounded awfully familiar. He turned around to see the booth fading away. "No... but I..."   
  
Realizing he was alone on the street with a dazed kendoist, Ryouga tried to figure out his next move. He brightened. All he had to do was find the Tendo Dojo! He could meet Ranma's mother, and eventually Ranma would show up and he'd apologize to her!   
  
Nodoka Saotome came out of the house a few minutes later and wondered why there was an impact crater on the compound wall.   
  
-----October 10, 1990-----  
  
or...three years later.   
  
Nodoka invited the latest arrival inside, half-bowing and directing her to the low table. Four girls had shown up so far, having served their apprenticeships.   
  
She inspected the girls over the tea cup, giving all of them a chance to recover from the chill.   
  
They'd come in slowly, each unsure of what to expect. One had immediately started appraising everything. The only bad point had come when they were deciding who got what room.   
  
The girls were all somewhat nervous about each other. Nodoka decided they'd fidgeted enough.   
  
"So, would you please introduce yourselves?"   
  
The eldest, a seventeen year old girl who radiated a calm confidance, stood up first and bowed. "I am Kasumi Tendo, practitioner of the Ju-ken style of Hokuto Shin Ken."   
  
The second oldest got up, a little bit less confidently, and eyed the group before bowing to Mrs Saotome. "I am Nabiki Tendo, huntress and artisan of the Nichieju." She tugged on her braid in an unconscious gesture.   
  
The other two looked at each other and then one stood up. "Akane Tendo, uhm, Fierce Dragon School and, er, Anything Goes Martial Arts."   
  
The last girl waited for Akane to sit before she stood. "Ukyou Kuonji's the name, okonomiyaki's the game. I'm the best there is at the art of okonomiyaki, with the exception of my dad. Spring of Drowned Bird People's my curse, but it cuts down on the bus fare."   
  
Nodoka nodded. "Now, perhaps you can explain something to me? Two years ago someone came by to tell me that HE was Ranma's boyfriend and that they'd had a lover's tiff. Then ANOTHER boy came up and said essentially the same thing, but denied that the first boy was a boyfriend. Oh, and that he hadn't had a chance to talk to my DAUGHTER about their relationship."   
  
Nodoka's smile looked strained. It had been strained for a long time now. "Tell me, girls, exactly what do you know about the person who left my care as my son?"   
  
----An observatory on a foreign world------   
  
"AAH!" The Doctor started falling from the metal latticework, where he would land in nice soft grass but after a fall of about 900ft. The grass wouldn't be nearly soft enough.   
  
The Master's grin faltered as the Doctor only fell about ten feet before landing on the back of an enraged dragon.   
  
"Ranma, NO! Don't kill him!" The Doctor managed to grunt out. Even though he was evil, the Master was still a Time Lord and killing him would be wrong. Eating him would be *really* wrong.   
  
The energy discharge built up in the dragon's mouth and destroyed nearly twelve feet of the metal structure that the Master had been standing on a moment ago.   
  
"Well, Doctor, it looks like you've won this round, but there'll be another time...(urk)" The Master turned to retreat but found something in his way.   
  
"Shampoo no think so." Shampoo withdrew her sword and watched the Master go to his knees. He fumbled with a small device from his pocket. Her sword moved again, a razor sharp katana forged by a master swordsmith of Old Japan. When it met flesh the sword didn't slow.   
  
"Does stupid Master know what he has done? Remember last time we meet? Remember how you use mind control device on Shampoo? Remember how you had me beat and humiliate airen? Airen who save Shampoo's life THREE TIMES now?"   
  
The Master looked down to where his weapon and one of his hands were still falling. "I..."   
  
"Airen try to get over it, but Shampoo see his eyes. Shampoo under mind control do very thorough job. AIREN FEAR SHAMPOO! He never be comfortable around Shampoo again, always see image of me hurting him and enjoying it! You use Shampoo because she 'barbarian', because she capable of killing unlike airen and Doctor." Shampoo held her sword ready. "Give one reason why Shampoo not remove you from food chain!"   
  
"You're one of the heroes, you could never..."   
  
Shampoo kicked out. "Airen and Doctor go behind building now. Shampoo not stupid and wait for you to come back and attack again and again until you kill us."   
  
Shampoo sighed as she watched the figure spiral down into the meeting with the ground. Her airen and the Doctor were no dummies. They would figure out what she had done. On the other hand, picking a thermal grenade out of her pocket and dropping it, it never hurt to be sure.   
  
She would have to endure a stern lecture from both the Doctor and her airen. (Unless airen was in Kasumi mode, in which case she would just give her The Look.) Shampoo shivered a little bit. Maybe she ought to get some hot water, just in case.   
  
She could act meek and repetant and airen would wind down after awhile. The Doctor would too. Against The Look, Shampoo shuddered at the memory of the last time that had been used against her. The Look that said oh so clearly how disappointed and sad her airen was at her. The Look that wordlessly asked such things as "how can I ever trust you again" and "do you know how hurt I am that you would do such a thing" was a devastating weapon to Shampoo.   
  
It had only taken a few moments of The Look the last time to get Shampoo to swear off any attempt to use magic/potions to influence her airen's thinking. The Look had proven capable of reducing a proud and capable Amazon warrior to a weeping and repetant wreck.   
  
Shampoo REALLY hoped that airen wasn't in Kasumi mode when they started.   
  
--------------June 9, 106 PA-----------------------   
  
"There ya go, how's that?" Ranma stepped back from the table.   
  
K-9 flexed his mechanical legs. "Diagnostics indicate all systems within assigned parameters. Correction: slight dysfunction in right rear extensor."   
  
"A bit stiff, eh?" Ranma frowned and reached for a tool. "Hang on, it may be a faulty nerve connection. Hmmmm. How's it now?"   
  
"Fully operational, Master."   
  
"Oh, it was nothing really," Ranma grinned. "Just putting together a major upgrade using cyborg parts and keeping as much of the original systems as possible."   
  
"This unit will be able to traverse a much greater range of environments and be of much greater use in a variety of situations." K-9 clicked a few times as he looked over his covering of fake fur and flesh, broken only by the mechanical "vest" that was actually an extension of his cyborg body and an odd gem between the eyes.   
  
"Yup!" Ranma nodded happily. "Taser device in the bite, stun ray unchanged, laser for fine and distance work, but the real nice bit'll be the sonic beam."   
  
"I was meaning to ask you about that," the Doctor said in a dry tone. "Really, don't you think all those weapons are a bit much?"   
  
"Just wait'll the Daleks menace again," Ranma shrugged. "The sonic beam is meant for them or Cybermen, it'll just stun pure organics. Against those with refractory coating or really thick armor..."   
  
"Yes, yes, I understand." The Doctor waved it off. "I'm quite concerned with your fascination with combat, though."   
  
"I understand your viewpoint, Doctor, and share it to some extent." Ranma began putting away his tools. "Experience says though, you can't always solve things peacefully. Besides, compared to Shampoo..."   
  
"Making use of that Teaching Machine a lot, are we?" The Gallifreyan time traveller looked over the tools that Ranma had. "Isn't that MY sonic screwdriver?" His point about Shampoo was well taken, though the Doctor was quite curious as to what would happen if Shampoo met Leela.   
  
Was the universe ready for such a thing?   
  
"Yes, now that Kuno isn't around to load me up with perverted datafiles. And no, I picked one up out of storage. Handy little thing."   
  
The Doctor nodded, the device was exceedingly handy to have around. "Well, this was the last of the twelve Dalek Bombs. Are you ready to return to your own space/time?"   
  
Ranma didn't look up for a moment, when he did, his expression was sad. "I guess so, Doctor. It's been fun, and we've done a LOT of good. Hell, we've saved peoples lives! I've even learned a lotta things...but I miss my family. Ucchan, 'Sumi, 'Biki, 'Dachi, even Akane, Ami, Kiima, Mako-chan... I still gotta marry one of 'em, but even with everything in that machine or with all we've seen I still don't see a solution to THAT tangle."   
  
"No, and you managed to get yourself engaged on three other worlds and two alternate timelines," the Doctor pointed out with a smirk. "At least you've learned not to speak as freely as you have in the past."   
  
Ranma shrugged. "Well, they ain't got access to a TARDIS, so I don't know how any of 'em can track me down, anyways. 'Cept maybe for Kiima and Saffron, but I don't think they could find me."   
  
-----October 10, 1990------  
  
"So..." Nodoka sipped her tea, her eyes half-lidded as she thought.   
  
"Pardon me, Mrs Saotome," Kasumi inquired politely, "but why do you require that Ranma be a 'man among men' as you put it? I remember him as a skilled fighter, a fair student, and a pleasant brother, but..."   
  
"I think what my dear sister is trying to ask," Nabiki started as Kasumi trailed off uncertainly. "If you wanted your son to be a 'man among men' (whatever THAT means) why did you entrust his care to your husband?"   
  
Nodoka considered the four girls and pulled a sheet of paper out of the sleeve of her kimono.   
  
Kasumi took it, read it, turned pale and handed it to Nabiki. Akane snatched the paper away from her sister and started puzzling out the kanji scribbled on the document while the remaining two girls read over her shoulders.   
  
"WHAT?!" Ukyou started reading again, sure that she had misread something.   
  
"Pardon me?" Nabiki looked up at Nodoka with a flat gaze. "And what, may one inquire, is the standard for being a 'man among men'?"   
  
Akane looked up with a nauseous expression. The handprint at the bottom...how young was Ranma when he agreed to this?   
  
"Seppuku? For not being manly enough?" Ukyou's eyes widened as she remembered. "Oh my kami, the curse!" Ukyou oofed as Akane sent an elbow driving into her midsection.   
  
"I already know about that." Nodoka sighed. "Mister Hibiki explained to me that my daughter was under a curse so that she turned into a boy when splashed with hot water. More, that this curse apparently caused my daughter to think she was actually my son. It was one of the few things that he and Mister Kuno were able to agree on."   
  
"Oh my."   
  
"No! The curses don't work like that. Not at all!" Nabiki shook her head. She didn't want little brother to die. There were bets still riding on which girl would eventually win. Ukyou was a clear favorite at 2:1 odds, with Shampoo and herself coming in just a little later.   
  
"Oh, so he's manly despite being a girl some of the time?"   
  
"Well..." Nabiki wasn't sure if this woman was one of those who could detect lies or not. "He's... quite... strong."   
  
"We were able to keep up with some of the schoolwork while on the road," Kasumi volunteered. Mostly that had been her doing. "We were able to study at odd times during the training."   
  
"He's very polite," Ukyou put in, not adding that this would be on the rare occasions when he wasn't putting his foot in his mouth.   
  
"And when we were bathing he didn't even look at us," Akane put in, neglecting to mention that was because of the pounding he had gotten when he did look.   
  
The four girls shrunk back a little as a tear formed and trickled its way down Nodoka's cheek. "I... see. So dearest has failed and my son is not manly."   
  
"Huh?" Four girls stared at the woman across from them and wondered exactly what the subtitles were running, since they quite obviously weren't having the same conversation.   
  
"Well, thank you. We shall continue this conversation later." Nodoka rose to go busy herself in the kitchen.   
  
Ukyou blinked. "So, to be a 'man among men' he can't be polite?"   
  
"Look at who she married," Nabiki managed after a moment. "If that's her definition of manly..."   
  
"Oh my. Poor Ranma." Kasumi sighed, she had been SO looking forward to seeing her little brother again. "He ISN'T very much like his father, is he?"   
  
"I wonder what Ken's doing now?" Akane mused. She hoped that she didn't have to get Mrs Saotome's approval to date Ken (providing he could be persuaded to see her as something besides a little girl.) It didn't sound like he would be 'manly' enough for her.   
  
Nabiki mentally revised the odds of Akane being Ranma's choice. It sounded like she already had a boyfriend.   
  
----March 10, 1992------  
  
The tournament continued. Vanilla combined her Amazonian Wu Shu with Anything Goes, because the latter went with everything.   
  
Dowel was the strongest, biggest, meanest, most powerful (physically) woman of the village.   
  
Dowel fought with passion and impressive strength. Vanilla countered with efficiency and coolly thinking out each step and motion. Earth vs water. Hardly anyone thought Dowel would win.   
  
As Dowel was launched from the Challenge Log, the majority was proven correct.   
  
An Elder's voice raised up in a call for a halt and silence fell upon the cheering assembly. Most of whom had been cheering because the feast was the next event scheduled.   
  
The noise was a mixture of a wheeze and a grind, terminating in a thump. It repeated, slightly louder with each repetition.   
  
Cologne grinned as a blue rectangular shape began to form near the edge of the crowd. She pogoed over to the door area, waiting.   
  
Two figures came out, and Cologne raised an eyebrow. "So, Doctor, you've finally been landed by some girl? Huang Xi would have been SO disappointed after you didn't choose her."   
  
"But I never defeated her in combat..."   
  
"That game of chess, back in, oh my, must have been 1859. Where does time fly?"   
  
Ranma grinned, enjoying the sight of the Doctor being hit with this sort of thing. After all, it happened to Ranma all the time.   
  
"This isn't my child, anyway. He mentioned Amazons, so I thought..."   
  
Cologne looked over the figure dressed in such close approximation of the Doctor, including the extraordinarily long scarf.   
  
"Well, the girl you dropped off on your last visit is doing well." Cologne inclined her head towards where Vanilla was approaching.   
  
"That looks like the girl in the healing capsule, Doctor." The shorter version of the Doctor noted aloud. "But we haven't visited the Amazons."   
  
"Must be sometime in my future, their past," the Doctor raised both eyebrows. "One of the odd things about time travel that crops up every so often."   
  
The pale girl looked over Ranma briefly and seemed to recognize something. "(Stranger male, YOU I challenge!)"   
  
"Huh?!" Ranma dodged as the girl's foot was now occupying the space his head had a moment ago.  
  
"(Show me what sort of techniques you've picked up, travelling with the Time Lord!)" Vanilla spun low into a footsweep.   
  
Ranma seemed to hang momentarily in the air. "(Well...okay.)" He bounced lightly, went into a tumble and landed on top of the TARDIS. "(Behold a technique so baffling that even the Cybermen were confused by it! Doctor-fu Special Attack!)"   
  
"Not THAT again," said the Doctor with a groan.   
  
Vanilla found herself blinded as the end of Ranma's scarf wrapped itself around her head.   
  
"(Feel the terror of the well-made English crochet work as it keeps you pinned. And now for the final attack of the Doctor-fu style!)"   
  
"You really shouldn't do this, you know." The Doctor shook his head, looking at the ground.   
  
"(Special Attack:) K-9 Stun Her."   
  
A sonic beam rippled the air slightly from within the TARDIS. Vanilla collapsed.   
  
There was scattered applause from the assembled Amazons. Ranma bowed.   
  
Shampoo stepped out of the TARDIS, wearing an odd body armor. "Great Grandmother!"   
  
"So this is where you've been, eh?" Cologne's eyes crinkled in amusement. "I should have known. No doubt you trailed your future husband in secret, then joined up with him when he encountered the Doctor here."   
  
"Yes, Great Grandmama!" Shampoo nodded happily. "Shampoo learn many things. Shampoo seek out new life, and new civilizations, kicking major butt where no Amazon ever go before!"   
  
"Good, Shampoo, I'm glad to hear you enjoyed yourself."   
  
Vanilla dusted herself off, gave an unreadable look to Ranma, then approached the First Prize in order to announce the commencement of the Feast.   
  
-------------------   
  
"Don't tell me that Looney Tunes was serious?" Ukyou stopped and stared at the crowd in front of Furinkan High School.   
  
"Was he trying to do some Amazon challenge, you suppose?" Nabiki smirked, eyeing the crowd before her. Nope, no challenge.   
  
Akane covered her eyes and grumbled. "Look. If we stop and try to reason our way through this crap, we'll be late, right?"   
  
"Right," Ukyou looked at the clock.   
  
"Maybe," conceded Nabiki.   
  
"So, if we show 'em what we're really capable of, maybe they'll NOT try this tomorrow." Akane silently condemned herself as an optimist.   
  
"Worth a shot, I suppose." Ukyou drew her big spatula.   
  
"I guess," Nabiki flicked her hands out, now filled with playing cards.   
  
"Akane Tendo, I love you, this is for you!"   
  
"Ukyou Kuonji, I shall defeat all obstacles to our love!"   
  
"Akane!" "Ukyou!"   
  
Nabiki blinked, still in her attack stance. They were all ganging up on Ukyou and Akane? They were all ganging up on Akane and Ukyou...They were ALL ganging up on Ukyou and Akane!!! They were... ignoring... her?!   
  
"How dare you!" Various card-shuriken began to slam into boys. "What's the matter with you wieners! What're you trying to say, that my sister and the pizza chef are hot stuff and I'm NOT!!!"   
  
"Oh, what fair dawn brings these goddesses..."   
  
"HADOKEN!"   
  
"FLOUR BOMB!"   
  
"BLACKJACK!"   
  
Burned, covered in white flour, and with his bokken cut in two places by flying cards, Kuno watched the two goddesses (and some unnamed third girl) run into the school. They merely played hard to get, he knew.   
  
Someday, though, he would be reunited with his pony tailed goddess, and then he could have all of his goddesses together. For was he not Tatewaki Kuno, the samurai who had saved an entire village and the life of a minor noble! How could he deny any of them the manliness that was Tatewaki Kuno!   
  
"Ah, pony-tailed goddess, how I miss you."   
  
------   
  
Ranma sneezed, then nodded in apology to the watching girls. Amazons, they had trained all their life in the arts of combat. They were used to weak and stupid males. They were all relatively sure that they weren't looking at someone who fit the first two categories.   
  
"So, son-in-law, do you think you can do it?" Cologne sat back and watched the Doctor's protege at work.   
  
"Just keep cold water away from me, and I'll be fine." Ranma fiddled with the old tractor engine, humming a little tune he'd picked up adventuring in that odd city with the giant robots that ran on extension cords.   
  
"What does cold water have to do with your talents?" Cologne looked to the Time Lord for an explanation.   
  
"Ranma...had an accident with a device that directly stimulates memory, a Teaching Machine that was experimental in 2796. They hadn't gotten all the bugs out, but it GENERALLY works as they intended."   
  
"An 'accident'? I'm not sure I could call it that," Ranma grumbled as he began to replace parts on the old tractor.   
  
"I don't honestly think that Tatewaki intended to do that to you." The Doctor shrugged and turned back to Cologne. "One of his friends put him through a closed loop cycle and switched tapes during a learning session. This had the effect of some behavior modification, as well as causing him some...mental problems. He's mainly over the worst of it."   
  
"Meaning that I became obsessive about learning, about machines, and that I've got some reflexive behavior that can be pretty embarrassing." Ranma started to hook the wiring back up. "It's especially bad when I'm a girl. I'm still me, it's just..."   
  
"That the cursed form personality elements have been emphasized," the Doctor finished. "It can be quite bizarre watching him turn into a girl and then start worrying about what she's wearing and whether it's appropriate for the situation. He's quite talented as a mechanic, electronics, robotics, and the like. She's a gourmet cook who abhors violence. His dragon form remains as prone to excesses as ever. I was still hoping we could find a cure."   
  
"That does sound like it could cause a few problems," agreed Cologne.   
  
"If I ever catch that Kuno!" Ranma slapped the hatch down. "It should work fine now, just be sure to strain the alcohol before you fill the tank."   
  
"It's a gas engine," began one of the amazons.   
  
"Not anymore. Just use a high grade of alcohol," Ranma nodded. "Minor adjustment while I was doing it. Figured you could get alcohol up here a lot easier than gas. The problem with the engine was that one of your rods had come apart. I just used a molecular coldweld to fix it. Heck, anybody could'a done that!"   
  
"You see," the Doctor said to Cologne.   
  
She nodded. Ranma was a fair fighter, but he offered something beyond simple strength to the village. A strong fighter was always welcome. "So, how good is he, actually?"   
  
"Actually?" The Doctor smirked and looked over at where K-9 was inspecting some stairways, enjoying the freedom of having four legs. "I've seen him cobble together a missile defense system out of an old PC, a flashlight, an old VW beetle, and a roll of duct tape."   
  
"It only worked for five minutes," said Ranma, waving it off. "It only had to deal with four missiles." He knew he should have tried to get more duct tape.   
  
The Doctor raised an eyebrow at Cologne. Cologne met his eyebrow and raised him another.   
  
"A missile defense system out of spare parts?" Cologne grinned. Shampoo HAD to be the one to bring this prize into the tribe. Strong fighters would ALWAYS be welcome. Smart fighters were also sought after. Smart strong fighters, though, such fighters were to be dragged kicking and screaming into the tribe if it came down to such measures. She might have to marry him off to more than one Amazon just to be sure there would be a fair number of children...   
  
Unnoticed by the Doctor, two Amazons descended from one Huang Xi were in the process of sneaking aboard the TARDIS. They would honor their ancestor and succeed where she had failed. Ling Ling and Lung Lung gave each other a high five as they moved deeper into the odd craft.   
  
Completely ignoring the chill of some dire fate upon him, the Doctor continued telling Cologne of the adventures he'd had since last visiting the Amazons.   
  
"Ranma, why you keep looking at sky?" Vanilla tried to edge closer to her fiance, having heard how skittish he could get. Slowly, she cautioned herself, he was used to how Akane and some of the others bullied him. Nabiki had sold her a lot of the details, after it had turned out that her blurry memories of a boy/girl saving her from some tube device were about the fiance that Nabiki had sold her. Best to keep it light and friendly for now.   
  
"Oh, me and the Doctor kinda visited Phoenix Mountain a few years back. We were in a sorta hurry so we didn't stop here, though we'd planned on it. Well, this girl..."   
  
Vanilla raised an eyebrow slightly. "You not going to tell me you ended up engaged to one of the Bird People?"   
  
"Well..."   
  
Vanilla sighed. "Who is? Is not boy is it?"   
  
"No. Her name is Kiima," Ranma reluctantly answered. "I'm really hoping they forget that crap about my girl side marrying their prince. I REALLY hope they forget about that."   
  
Vanilla merely looked vaguely puzzled. Shampoo winked and nodded, remembering how many problems Ranma tended to attract.   
  
"Oh, there is one thing I need to mention to you fiancees," the Doctor looked from Vanilla to Shampoo. Cologne followed as she was their Elder.   
  
"His male personality is very intellectually oriented, he seems to have at least partly fixated on (ahem) me as a role model following the accident. His female side, on the other hand..."   
  
"Is good housekeeper," said Shampoo with a nod. "Doubt that TARDIS has ever been that clean before. But has mainly gotten fixed now. Well, mostly."   
  
"Short term memory is the same. Skills are different, reactions are different," the Doctor shook his head as he looked back towards where the boy was checking over a small radio. "One more thing, we were on a Juraian space station in the future, where the Daleks were taking over..."   
  
------flashback-------  
  
"We have a video feed!"   
  
The Doctor looked over at the monitor that the tech had gotten working. "Oh dear. He must have gotten splashed."   
  
A female Ranma ran past the monitor, screaming something about couldn't we just give peace a chance?   
  
"EX-TERMINATE! EX-TERMINATE! EX-TERMINATE!" Dozens of Daleks rolled past the video monitor.   
  
A low growl was heard from off-camera, followed by a bone-rattlingly deep roar. Dalek blasters began firing somewhere nearby.   
  
Another sound, crackling and thunder, reverberated in the space station. There was the sound of something exploding, followed by several sounds that were vaguely reminiscent of the sort of thing you'd hear if one were to stick several aluminum cans inside an industrial strength blender and set for "puree."   
  
More Daleks (or were they the same ones?) rolled by, going in the opposite direction. "E-VACUATE! E-VACUATE! E-VACUATE!"   
  
"That's odd," the tech glanced down at his instruments. "I'm detecting odd power fluctuations from the control room."   
  
The station shuddered. It shuddered again, fire alarms and various klaxons wailing.   
  
"Hull breech in bulkhead 32, fires in 33 and 31, power losses to 30 through 9. Did the Daleks detonate a bomb?" The Tech stared up at the now lifeless monitor.   
  
------end flashback--------  
  
"The exterior hull looked like it had a bad case of acne, pimples everywhere. The Daleks have exceedingly thick armor, and are almost invulnerable to normal weapons, yet there were pieces of Dalek strewn everywhere." The Doctor shuddered as he remembered the carnage. It had been awful.   
  
Cologne looked thoughtful. "So when he's in his cursed woman form, she is a gentle creature but an extreme emotion such as being cornered can bring about the transformation to dragon."   
  
Shampoo looked curiously at Cologne. "This is so. The dragonform is wild and largely uncontrollable, subject to extremes of emotion. Normally he just turns into his oldest sister when he goes into his cursed form. When he wants to or needs to, he takes the dragonform. His personality changes also, depending on what shape he's in at the time."   
  
"That is a scary thought," agreed Vanilla. "A very scary thought."   



	2. Chapter Two

A Very Scary Bet, RAAC version part 2a: Here's....Ranko?!?! by greggsharp, metroanime@mindspring.com http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com ---------------------------------------------------- 

Ukyou looked around the lunchroom. "Well, at least some of the guys aren't attacking us, otherwise this'd look like an all-girls school." 

Akane leaned back in her chair. "I don't see why we gotta learn this stuff anyway. It's not like this stuff is gonna be any use in runnin' a dojo." 

"Hello girls, and how has your first day been?" Nabiki slid into place next to her sister. For some reason there were a lot of empty seats nearby. 

"Lotsa garbage," summed up Akane's view of the day. "Not like this algebra stuff has any practical day to day use. And what possible use is this English stuff unless we take gaijin in at the dojo?" Or if she could go visit Ken, who was SO much better than these...boys. Hmmm. Maybe she *should* pay more attention in class. 

"Not much different from school down in Osaka," Ukyou said with a shrug. "Just a bit more violent in the morning and the English teacher knows less than I do about the language..." 

"Now, now, Akane, don't be too quick to dismiss the value of an education. Even if you get into running the dojo, there's still those who'll judge you on your education level." Nabiki smirked and started on her obento lunch. "Mrs Saotome may be crazy, but she can really fix an obento, y'know?" 

"Yeah, I s'pose. Hey, I can get a portable grill cheap, maybe we could make and sell okonomiyaki during lunch?" A smile lit Ukyou's face. She could do a lot with this sort of setup. 

"Good idea," said Nabiki around a mouthful of rice. "There seems to be a few opportunities for making some money around here too. I made some pocket change at the village with little things like my photography skills and bets on various fights and the like. It'd be good to earn our keep in case we gotta move out." 

"Why would we do that?" Akane glanced up. 

"Uhm, Akane, remember Ranchan?" Ukyou shook her head. "I wonder what he's like nowadays?" 

"No telling, and we can't let him meet his mother until we know." 

---------------------------------------------------- 

Ranma glanced over to where Shampoo and this new amazon fiancee were being given a talking to by the Doctor. "K-9?" 

"Yes, young Master?" 

"I need you to get something out of the TARDIS while the Doctor is occupied." 

K-9 processed this for a moment. "Do you mean your temporal transmitter unit? Estimate a 75% chance that the Doctor does know about the unit's existence." 

"Last I checked it was still working," Ranma said, apparently still studying the sky. "I made sure the door to the TARDIS was unlocked, so you can get in and out without any problem. If you would be so kind to get it and bring it to the building whose face I am currently spotlighting with the reflection from my wristcomp?" 

"Affirmative, young Master." K-9 paused for a moment. "You will remain behind? This unit...will miss all three of you." 

"I'll miss you too, K-9, and I know that 'Ranko' will also feel your absence. Shampoo never really got that comfortable around you, did she?" Ranma sighed. "This is my time and my world. It's gonna feel awfully primitive and small, but it won't be unbearable if I can bring my workshop through." 

"Affirmative, Master." K-9 trotted off. He would immediately detect the two intruders, but determine that they, like the girl still on board from their last visit, were not a threat to his Master. 

Ranma carefully removed his smile. Recreating his workshop with "stone knives and bearskins" would have taken him months. If this worked... 

------------------------------------------- 

Genma thought for a moment, then the panda put away his binoculars and thought some more about how he was to do this. He'd finally found Ranma, who hadn't been at the amazon village when he'd checked the last time, but apparently the boy had been on the move. 

There was only the one trail that a Japan-bound individual could use to get in and out of the Bayankala range. He could "accidently" find Ranma there and defeat him, thus proving to the boy that he still had a lot to learn about the Anything Goes style. 

Then the two could continue on and get the necessary additional training before it became time for the boy to meet his mother and see if he met her standards. 

It was a good plan, thought Genma. Perfect. Nothing could go wrong. 

Thunder echoed through the mountains, or perhaps it was the laughter of a passing god. 

----------------------March 11, 1992---------------------- 

Ranma waited a full hour after the TARDIS disappeared. Shampoo and Vanilla watched, concerned, as their fiance took a large sack and began pulling rods of some greenish glass and silvery metal out. 

"Oh, so you DID get it," Shampoo began. 

"What you do, Ranma?" Vanilla finished with a cool glance towards her rival. 

"I spent nine months in a world known as RIFTS Earth. Wonderful place, so much to learn there. A bit too violent to live there, but for educational purposes just fine." Ranma glanced back over his shoulder at the two. "Do you have your packs ready? We can go to Japan very soon if this works." 

"Yes, Vanilla, you go get. Shampoo keep eye on airen." 

The albino's gaze flicked back and forth between Shampoo and Ranma for a moment, then she gave a barely perceptible nod. She jogged back to her home, knowing that her adopted mother would count on her to behave in a manner proper for an amazon while she was gone. With some degree of dignity, and some purely gratuitous violence. (No one would expect gratuitous sex from either of them.) 

"Airen? Did you remember pack Shampoo's cycle?" Shampoo grinned at the memory. Most machines she had no use for, but there was something about her own hovercycle, wind flying past her, a powerful engine thrumming between her legs. Shampoo shifted a little bit as she remembered that feeling. It had been even faster than her cursed form. 

"Yeah," Ranma was now fitting the rods together in what was taking shape as a very large rectangular outline. "Mind you, it won't last long here without some work. Your Tengu powerarmor was the tricky one to store. Space limitations, so I hadda disassemble the wings pretty thoroughly." 

Ranma fitted the last rod into place and started attaching a large boxlike device to one end of the rectangle. "Anyway, I COULD spend a lot of time putting together little bits of technology so that I could eventually work with the really nifty stuff, OR I could try to sneak in some stuff." 

"Shampoo remember." 

Ranma flipped a switch on the box and stepped back. A sparkling glow began to fill the rectangle. Shampoo involuntarily took two steps back, though she was well clear of it. Ever since that transmat device had removed her curse and given her a nasty set of cramps, she'd been leary of devices of this sort. 

Shampoo watched as first the general shape, then the details began to form on the vehicle. 

Vanilla came jogging back, two large packs in her hands, when she saw the shape forming in the air. She raised an eyebrow, indicating her astonishment at this newest development. 

------------------------ 

The Doctor looked up as something fairly large moved through time. "That boy really needs to learn subtlety." 

"Affirmative, Master." K-9 quite agreed. "Master, I have checked the condition of that girl that you and the young Master saved earlier from the world with the invaders. She has now spent 72.385 hours within the healing capsule." 

"Odd genetic structure, that girl." The Doctor tugged unconciously at his scarf. "Very odd. Human DNA, and I'm not sure what the rest of it was." 

"There was an unforeseen side effect, Master." K-9 processed the remote data for an extra five seconds, making absolutely sure of what the sensors were telling him. "The girl has regressed in age. Current age is approximately nine terrestrial years." 

"Get her out, then, the remaining injuries will have to heal on their own." The Doctor frowned. "Any data on that 'entry plug' that she was found in?" 

"Highly sophisticated biomechanical interface, though unrefined. Certainly more than one would expect for Terran technology circa 2015." 

"Yes, yes. When humans believe themselves cornered they can surprise you with their inventiveness." The Doctor's eyes widened. "He wouldn't! Oh my." 

---------------------------------------- 

Shampoo grinned as a 30x20x15 area became filled with something she hadn't seen in over a week. 

"" "Is transportation. Is airen's workshop." 

"If everything goes well." Ranma watched with a grin, hoping. 

The glow flickered to a stop and a massive weight settled onto the ground on thick legs. A few creaks and and clanks could be heard as the box sat there, smoke coming off of its outer surfaces. 

Shampoo and Vanilla tore their eyes away from the box to watch Ranma doing cartwheels and laughing. 

"Shampoo?" 

"Yes, Vanilla?" 

"Airen is...very strange." 

"If too strange for Vanilla, should give up now, Shampoo take up burden of being tai tai to airen." 

"Well," Vanilla said after a moment, "at least he not boring..." 

"That true." Shampoo hid her disappointment. If she couldn't get rid of Vanilla, how could she hope to deal with the OTHER fiancees? 

"Shampoo, Vanilla," Ranma palmed a panel on the box and a pair of steps extruded from the bottom. A door hissed open at the top of those steps. "Your carriage awaits. Stow your packs and grab a chair while I dismantle the chrono beacon." 

"What language he speak now, Shampoo?" "Is called technobabble. Shampoo not fluent in that. Special language for engineer types." Shampoo shrugged. Who could figure males anyway? 

Vanilla started moving towards the steps, but Shampoo entered first, wanting to confirm that airen had packed her hovercycle. 

Ranma whistled a happy little tune, gathering up the network of rods he had set out earlier. He didn't have to go back to stone knives and bearskins! Laser welders, fusion packs, molecular seamers, sensor suites, Shampoo's hovercycle! 

A shriek from within the transport ended his pleasant fantasy. Barely a second later, Shampoo flew down the steps and turned to unleash a rapidfire stream of Mandarin that didn't sound at all pleasant. 

"Airen!" Shampoo found him. "Chair grab me! You tell chair not to grab amazon womans!" 

"Huh?" Ranma blinked. "Oh, you mean the restraint harness engaged?" 

Shampoo looked at her airen, being able to tell she was not going to get any sympathy out of him. "Ranma, you know how Shampoo feel about machines that move around without being asked." 

"I know. You never would use that teaching machine after that first time." 

Shampoo pouted. She'd practiced this in the mirror and knew the picture she was presenting to her airen. Let's see Vanilla top this! 

"Oh, Ranma," came Vanilla's voice. "What mean this flashing light?" 

"Don't touch ANYTHING!" Ranma grabbed up the last rod and ran into the vehicle. 

Shampoo held the cute pout for a heartbeat then gave a disgusted noise. "Why? How did Shampoo offend goddess? Shampoo want attention from airen! Do she get? No! Don't want attention from stupid Mousse. So Mousse always pester Shampoo. Urrr....." 

"You coming, Shampoo?" Ranma stuck his head out. 

Shampoo looked up at Ranma, sighed, then put on a happy face. "Coming right away, airen! You tell chair only airen allowed hug Shampoo?" 

The door whished shut behind Shampoo, standing in the dimly lit area where Vanilla was already strapped into a seat, and Ranma was sitting in another seat. Shampoo made a face. She understood that her hovercycle needed to be unpacked and made ready, but she didn't care much for being enclosed like this. Riding free on a hovercycle, the wind in her hair, THAT was something Shampoo could deal with. 

Shampoo sat as close to Ranma as she could looking at all the colored screens around her in distaste. Too many bells and whistles. Shampoo preferred a minimal amount of clutter and a smooth interface. 

A clanking noise came from the door. "" 

"Is there way to lock door, airen?" 

"Hmm. Oh, just push this button." 

"Thank you." Shampoo pushed the indicated button which flashed twice after being pressed. "Stupid Mousse!" 

Ranma's eyes swept the control board. "Atomic batteries to power..." The lcd gauge read that the batteries had just brought the fusion plant online and it was putting out enough power. Ranma pushed another button, throwing energy into the hoverjet system. "Turbines to speed..." 

Shampoo gripped her chair as she felt the box shake. "Maybe some damage to thrusters? Shampoo put contra-grav engines on standby." 

"No windows?" Vanilla's quiet voice somehow managed to cover Mousse's startled squawk from outside the vehicle. 

Ranma hit another switch and several screens around the seating area flared to life. He frowned and one of the views changed so that it was looking down near the doorway. 

Mousse, hanging from a chain that had gotten tangled on one of the steps, was currently fumbling for his fallen glasses. Said glasses were continuing to fall as the boxy vehicle continued to rise. 

"What is that moron doing?" Ranma stared at the monitor. 

Mousse fumbled around in one sleeve, then started checking another, still trying to find a pair of glasses. Unfortunately all this jerking around on the chain finally got it loose. Mousse fell. "" 

Shampoo clapped her hands twice and began rubbing them together. She'd seen Ukyou do this a few times. "Very bad for you, Mousse, very bad you fall in spring. Terrible tragic story. So, airen, where we go?" 

"Can you make a recording of this?" Vanilla asked with some minor degree of interest. Mousse had managed to annoy even her. 

Ranma tapped the auto-track control, zooming the monitor so that Mousse's fall could be followed. As Mousse hit the water and was submerged. All three watched as the water was broken a moment later by the Jusenkyo Guide using a net to fish something out of the spring. 

"He fall into spring of drowned bat?" Shampoo smiled. "Maybe now he leave Shampoo alone, find nice batgirl?" 

Vanilla nodded silently. That had a certain symmetry to it. She liked symmetry. She'd especially like not being mistaken for Shampoo by Mousse on a regular basis. 

"Well, at least he's OK." Ranma pushed forward on one joystick and the ship began moving forward. "Vanilla, can you see me from where you are?" 

"Yes," Vanilla acknowledged. This was why she'd chosen a seat behind and to the side from the pilot's chair. 

"Good, I'm going to go over the controls just in case either of you ever need to pilot it. There's a voice interface, but it's programmed for English, which neither of you know." 

"Shampoo just want know how to recharge hovercycle." 

"_" Vanilla responded in that language. She had noticed that most of the controls and displays were in English. The little smiley faces for status indicators were a bit...odd, however. _

"Good. You'll be a great backup pilot." 

Vanilla twitched. There was something disturbing about that comment. She was immediately lost in thought as she tried to figure out why. 

Ranma engaged the stealth systems as they cleared the mountains. No reason to take chances, after all. 

----------------March 13, 1992------------------ 

Ranma glanced down at the beeping display. "Oooh. Lookit that. Reading some really odd power readings there." 

Vanilla looked up from where she'd been going over an owner's manual, translating it for Shampoo's benefit. "How is it odd?" 

"Biological in nature, I think." Ranma tapped a few controls. "Hang on, I'm gonna get closer and get a better look." It meant dropping the stealth field, but it was interfering with the sensors to leave it running... 

"Vanilla, what mean this?" Shampoo pointed to the drawing then to the corresponding part of the machine. 

"It means that the halberd draws enough power that you can't use the Stealth function while it is engaged." Vanilla tried to explain. 

Shampoo nodded. "Flying power armor, spears, amazons. Some things just meant to be." 

Vanilla was glad that Shampoo was familiar with this hightech stuff. Vanilla wondered how it was that she seemed to be as well. 

----------------------------------------------- 

"Thank you, spy, you have served me well." Herb, prince of the Musk, stood. "Do you realize what this means?" 

"That some redhaired girl is engaged to some purple haired girl?" 

Herb slapped Mint, using a martial arts manuever he saw on one of those 3 Stooges tapes he'd recently gotten. "The Knucklehead nose slap," he thought it was called. 

"It means," continued Herb, "that Ranko once again walks the same lands as I. Mint, get the Dipping Ladle!" 

"Yes, your eminence!" 

Herb smirked and furled his cape in true villain showmanship. At least he hoped it was, that was the effect he was trying for. "Soon, Ranko, I shall show that upstart Saffron up by claiming you for myself!" 

The spy, forgotten for a moment, made a note of this speech and proceeded immediately towards Phoenix Mountain. Yuan would make Nabiki proud of her pupil. 

----------------------------------------------- 

"This is Go Sakurai, Action Five News Traffic. The traffic buildup along Gojira Road is even worse than usual tonight, due to a rollover accident on..." 

Something Big and Fast shot by the Action Five copter. Go blinked. It looked like a Winnebago. He'd seen those covering baseball training camp in Yuma Arizona. Winnebagos generally had wheels, this hadn't. Go blinked again. Winnebagos also generally weren't found travelling over a hundred feet above the road. 

"Ufo," Go breathed, saying it as if it were a single word. "A ufo..." 

"Ufo..." breathed the pilot, who blinked a couple of times himself. 

"AFTER IT!" The two newshounds shouted in unison. This was it, their big break, a national feed at the very least! No more going to Yuma to cover training camp! Yippee! No more camping trips in Ryugenzawa! 

------------------------------------------ 

"She's back?!?" The child named Saffron's eyes gleamed. "At last, my beloved, now I may conquer your heart..." 

Kiima made a face. Ick. Well, if she married Ranma first, then Saffron wouldn't pursue this any further. Which would be best for all concerned... 

She briefly lost herself in memory of a few years back. The plague spread by those cowardly creatures that had teleported into Phoenix Mountain, hoping to tap into Jusendo for their own purposes. How a young boy and this man called the Doctor had come in and saved all of them. 

She especially remembered how she had been dying of the fever, and of waking to find the young boy replacing the cool cloths covering her again. Again and again she awoke, and if he hadn't been at her side, he had been close. 

Kiima sighed. She'd still been unsteady on her feet when they had left, but now she had a chance to show her gratitude to the Doctor's apprentice. 

------------------------------------------- 

"Oh my gosh, look at that!" Tenchi stared at the television. This caused the fight between Aeka and Ryoko to break up. What was Tenchi finding so fascinating? 

"Hmmm. A hoverjet vehicle, fairly advanced model, at least Galactic standard." Washu studied the boxlike shape depicted on the television. "Doesn't look like a familiar model, though. Might be a homebuilt." 

"Wow!" Mihoshi exclaimed. "Could it be an Earth ship?" 

"Too advanced, but that does look like English lettering on the side." Washu brought her holographic keyboard up and began to make interrogative noises as she typed. "Hmm. I think it just might be a homebuilt." 

"Ohmygosh!" Tenchi repeated, even more intrigued. "It's the Sailor Senshi!" 

"Hmmm?" Ryoko looked at the scantily clad young girls fighting some large creature in a park setting. "What's a Sailor Senshi?" 

"Earth's guardian warriors against ancient recurrent evil, similar to the Warrior Blades of Taikei or the Righteous Ronin of Tau Prime." Washu's fingers were really flying now as she attempted to analyze the data available to her. She made a note to launch a few sensor probes in the Tokyo area for future studies. 

"Oh," said Ryoko, Aeka, Kiyone, Mihoshi, and Sasami in an eerie unison. 

Ryoko noted the way that Tenchi was staring at these "Senshi." So he liked these sailorsuited warrior types, did he? Well, those Righteous Ronin were kind of interesting, if a bit humorless. Hmmmm. 

Aeka smirked. So Lord Tenchi admired these warriors of "love and justice" as was only natural of him. Clearly the nobility of their cause was not lost on him, and this gave her an idea. 

Kiyone frowned. If they were like the Warrior Blades, then they were acting as vigilantes but were upholding the laws and morals of their society. As a member of the Galaxy Police, she was to assist the Blades if her path crossed theirs. Wouldn't this hold true for these "Senshi?" 

Mihoshi grinned. Such pretty uniforms! 

Sasami smiled. It reminded her of that dream she had. Maybe Tsunami could help her out with something. This could be major cool! 

------------------------------------- 

"Hmmm." Ranma strapped a harness around himself, then fitted something like a leash between it and an eyebolt near the vehicle's door. 

"What you do, Ranma?" Shampoo looked at the external monitors then back to her airen. 

Vanilla looked a bit more closely at the monitor. "Two of those girls are using Anything Goes martial arts stances..." 

Shampoo blinked and looked closer herself. "Aiya. You right. Tall girl in green and short girl in blue use very basic defensive stance. Might not be Anything Goes though, as style take in other styles as part of itself." 

"No, she's right." Ranma tested the leash connections. "More to the point, I don't recognize the two girls, but I DO recognize the way they're moving. There's a couple of girls Nabiki sold 'fiancee cards' to back when I thought it just meant I'd be training 'em for free." 

"Shampoo remember. Airen a little slow back then." Shampoo nodded with a slight frown. 

Ranma made a face. "Anyway, if they're who I think they are, then I gotta help 'em out." 

"What you think you..." Shampoo stopped. It had become rather obvious what Ranma was going to do. "But that should be Shampoo's job." 

---------------------------------------- 

"Look out, Mars!" 

Sailor Mars barely avoided the thing's lunge. "Fire soul!" 

"It seems to be immune to our special attacks," Ami noted. "Mars' fire and Jupiter's lightning don't seem to have much effect." "It's too fast," complained Sailor Moon. "It won't stay still long enough for any of my attacks." 

"I...WHAT THE HECK?!" Sailor Jupiter pointed up. 

The Senshi and the youma all looked up to see a rather large box hanging in midair in just the way boxes were not supposed to. 

Ami frowned, a hover jet system? But it was so quiet she could barely hear it when she was listening for it. 

A door opened in the side, and a figure leaned out. "How dare you menace such valiant warriors? I send you back to hell with the Anything Goes final attack!" 

"Anything Goes?!" Makoto's jaw dropped. It couldn't be. No, it COULD be! She still had her membership card somewhere. 

Ami blinked and brought her visor to magnify. It WAS! She'd have to see if she still had her membership card. 

Ranma pointed a dull black cylinder at the youma who responded by snarling and preparing to uproot a tree to throw at the vehicle. "Behold a final technique so feared that the Coalition States has banned its use in their territories!" Ranma turned on the cylinder, which activated the turret it was slaved to. "Saotome special technique! 'Nuke it till it glows!'" 

A gatling particle beam spoke from the undercarriage of the hovervehicle. 

----------------------------------- 

"Saotome?!" The man rubbed his chin, which was badly in need of a shave. He stared at the televised picture of a futuristic vehicle, no doubt built by someone nearly as much of a genius as he was himself... How he'd love to go over the schematics! 

He grabbed a card from a pile of knick knacks accumulated over the years, remembering a pledge at a frat party years ago. His daughter would marry the son of a his old buddy, named Genma Saotome. Years later, he'd gotten the card with a note about how it was too bad that he didn't have a daughter... 

But now he did. 

"Atsuko!" She didn't answer. "Nuku nuku!" 

"Yes, papa?" 

"We've got plans for this weekend after all." 

--------------------------------- 

Nodoka blinked among all the excitement. The daughters Tendo were whooping, and young Miss Kuonji was all but bouncing up and down in glee. 

Ranma? Could this figure who brought thunder down from the heavens to fight alongside the Sailor Senshi be HER son?! 

He was surrounded by young girls. But, was he doing it in a manly fashion? 

----------------------------------- 

Sailor Moon dropped her moon scepter. 

Tuxedo Mask, ready to intervene, let the rose drop from his hand as he stared. 

Sailor Mercury clucked and began working out the various readings relayed to her from her visor. 

Sailor Jupiter looked from the vehicle to what remained of the target and wondered if she could get one of those. 

Sailor Mars rubbed her ears and really wished that she hadn't rushed forward when she saw that the youma had been distracted. She filed this under "Things That You Now Know Better Than To Do." 

The News 5 helicopter crew merely filmed the smouldering crater with its evaporating bits of youma, and noted aloud that the Senshi's new ally had a little problem with overkill. 

---------------------------- 

Brianna Diggers blinked. She blinked again. "Guns. Big guns. Oooo. That looks like a rocket launcher on that side." 

"Sailor Senshi with rocket launchers?" Brittany looked up. "That sounds just SO wrong." 

"Naw, it's a guy." Little hearts appeared in Brianna's eyes. "A guy who comes with gatling particle beam toting weapons platforms! My kinda guy!" 

"That does appear to be a fairly sophisticated craft," Gina noted, the tablet in her hands temporarily forgotten. "Interesting, the design of those jets...hmmmm." 

Brittany looked back and forth between her two sisters. "Aw c'mon, that guy looks like he's still in high school!" 

"So maybe he's got an older brother," Brianna cracked her knuckles. Yup, she just HAD to meet this guy. They had so much in common. She'd show him her rocket launchers if he'd show her that cannon. 

Gina smiled. That vehicle, she'd love to have a go over its systems. 

----------------------------------------- 

Washu stared at the television. So did Kiyone. 

"How did he get a particle beam cannon of that intensity onto such a small ship?" Washu demanded to know, not that she really expected an answer. She could do it, obviously, but someone of this planet doing it was more than a little surprising. They HAD to be of this planet, no one else would have a bumpersticker in English that stated "Daleks suck for spare change" or one in Japanese that read "If you can read this, you're in firing range." 

"Discharging megawatt cannon in a restricted zone," grumbled Kiyone. "I've gotta have a talk with that boy." 

Nobody noticed that Aeka, Ryoko, and Sasami had snuck off. This would be regretted later. 

------------------------------------------ 

Queen Beryl felt one of those large sweatdrops move down the back of her head. 

"Milady, these life energy readings..." Zoicite grinned. "There is enough life energy being radiated from that ship to put our plans ahead by weeks!" 

"Zoicite, get me everything you can on whatever a 'Saotome' is." She had a bad feeling about this, a very scary feeling. 

---------------------------------------------------------------- 

"Stealth systems, active. Chameleon mode active. ECM on." Ranma checked the telltales. Anyone looking from outside would have seen the large boxlike vehicle shimmer and turn transparent. "Now if I just knew where the Tendo dojo was..." 

Vanilla held up a map. "Nabiki sell me this for three pillowcases and a comforter." 

"Sound like Nabiki," Shampoo said with a nod. "Shampoo show Vanilla her power armor. Is too too cool!" 

"Ah, next stop, the Tendo dojo." Ranma clicked on a computer enhanced map. 

"Airen," Shampoo said. "Next time you let Shampoo do shooting, yes?" 

"Sure, Shampoo, 'a woman's place is at the controls of a weapons console.'" Ranma nodded, quoting something Shampoo had said months ago. 

Shampoo grinned, not recognizing the quote. "Airen say such sweet things!" 

Behind them, a news chopper began looking for the odd ship which had abruptly vanished. 

-------------------------------- 

"So, let's see what you've learned." The impending arrival of Ranma (their fiance) had finally brought to a head the question of who the better fighter was. 

Nabiki had fought Ukyou. Nabiki's clothes had developed a number of spatula cuts, while Ukyou's had developed similar cuts from a number of cards. Ukyou had proven to be better of the two, though it had been agreed that Nabiki pulling an all-nighter for a tough test earlier that day had probably not performed at her best. Akane had proven to be a better fighter than Ukyou. And now... 

Akane nodded. "For two lunches." 

"The bet was for one lunch." Kasumi sighed. The winner got to make the lunch in question. 

"No holding back, you guys." Ukyou looked to the two combatants. "Well, at least not much." She swung the spatula down, signalling the beginning of the match. 

"Hurricane Kick," Akane began one of her flashier moves, specifically because she didn't want her older sister to hold back anything. 

Kasumi ducked under the kick and stabbed up at Akane's leg with one finger as her younger sister passed overhead. 

Akane landed and frowned as she turned back to her sister. "C'mon Kasumi, fight me for real!" 

"If you insist, Akane," Kasumi said with some reluctance. 

Ukyou partially turned to Nabiki. "Yup, guess Kasumi's won this one." 

"She should _never_ have closed with her," Nabiki shook her head. "Akane remains impulsive." 

"Hey guys, I'm still fighting here!" Akane looked somewhat angrily at her other sister and Ukyou. 

Kasumi tapped Akane on the back of the head, then flipped back lazily. 

"Hey! That's not fair! I wasn't ready!" Akane frowned. Well, she hadn't wanted to use a chi attack against her own sister, but this would at least demonstrate her skills. "HADOKEN!" 

"No, Akane! Don't use that NOW!" 

Kasumi's panicked look was enough to clue both Nabiki and Ukyou in. Nabiki started looking for a bucket. 

Ukyou watched as Akane's hands went back into the position for the chi-fireball attack, then locked in place. "Akane, let go of the fireball. Let it go." 

Akane knew she was in trouble at this point, and tried but wasn't able to simply dissipate the attack. "Uhm, Kasumi, could you unlock me before this explodes?" 

Kasumi was already jabbing at a series of pressure points. "Hang on, Akane." 

Akane aimed the hadoken straight up. Her sister had won this round, but she'd not make that mistake again in the NEXT match. The blue fireball roared away towards the sky. 

"Clang?" Ukyou looked up. 

"Clang?" Nabiki repeated, her eyes widening as connections were made. 

"Akane, I think we ought to move," Kasumi said, walking towards the patio. 

"I gotta bad feeling about this," said Akane. She wondered if she should call Ken. Just to make sure he'd gotten back to America all right. Or would that be too much too soon? She didn't want to seem pushy or nothin'. 

A shape started shimmering into solidity as the hoverjets shut down and another drive system went active. 

The shape filled the backyard, with a pair of jets hanging down over the koi pond. 

"Well, that explains WHY he did it," Nabiki noting this with a nod. "Not HOW, but certainly why." 

"Did what?" Akane sat down to watch this, accepting a cup of tea from Mrs Saotome. She'd been writing Ken for the past two years, but she wanted to hear his voice again. 

"No rockets, no propellors, no jets," Ukyou noted. "Antigravity?" 

Nabiki nodded, wondering just what kind of goodies she could get her hands on here. Whoever ended up marrying Ranma would have access to all that high tech and the sort of profits one could bring in. 

Ukyou looked over the odd boxy ship. She wondered if her Ranchan had been eating enough. 

Kasumi watched Mrs Saotome with some concern. Would she require immediate satisfaction? 

The door on the vehicle hissed open just as Akane was getting ready to comment on the English lettering on the side. Whatever a "Winnebago" was... 

A bouncy Chinese Amazon...uhm...bounced out of the ship. "Kasumi! Nabiki! Ukyou! Oh, yes, violent tomboy..." 

Akane pulled down her right lower eyelid and stuck out her tongue, the Japanese "redeye." She was glad to see the amazon too... 

The next one down the steps was unhurried and nodded once to Nabiki. 

"Vanilla," said Nabiki for everyone else's benefit. "Good to see you made it." She had some clothes that needed mending after sparring with Ukyou. 

Ranma stood at the doorway, having put on his floppy hat and extra long scarf, red kevlar duster-style coat looking particularly nice with the souvenier patches on the sleeves. "Dantooine" proclaimed one. "DS9" proclaimed another. "Jurai Freeport" declared a third. "San Diego Zoo" read a fourth. He wanted to make a grand entry. "Airen!" Nabiki exclaimed happily, drawing strange looks from Shampoo and Vanilla. 

"Oh, hey, Ranma," said Akane, still debating whether she should call Ken or not. Maybe if she did but made it sound like she had dialed the number by accident... 

"Ranchan!" Ukyou said in midleap. 

Kasumi noted the collision shortly to be taking place and continued to watch Ranma's mother. She was uncertain about the expression. How were they to tell if Ranma would pass or not before she did? 

"RANCHAN!" Ukyou managed a flying tackle that would have done an NFL linebacker proud. 

"So, Akane, you get over problem with poisonous cooking?" 

"Hah, just you wait, you barbarian, I'll show you! I'll show all of you!" 

The two girls shared a laugh. 

"Is almost like old times." 

"Yeah, I missed you too, you bimbo." 

Nodoka's eyes flicked back and forth. "Why do you two trade insults back and forth like that when you're obviously glad to see each other?" 

Akane spoke up first. "Uncle Genma told us all about that. You've got to insult and belittle people to show you care for them." 

Nodoka blinked, her eyes sweeping around the crowd. "...but Kasumi and Ukyou..." 

"Oh, we just got in the habit to please him. Some of us knew better." Ukyou said in a cheerful voice, leading Ranma in by the hand. She was with her Ranchan, all was right with the world. The rest of Nerima might have been overcast, but as far as she was concerned there was sunlight beaming down on her and little bluebirds fluttering about. 

"I...see." Nodoka nodded, fingering her silk-wrapped bundle. "So Dearest explained how such things work to you..." 

--------------------------- 

Thousands of miles away, a certain heavyset man looked up from a hot cup of mulled wine and shivered at the premonition of Doom which had befallen him. Figuring that he knew where it had originated, Genma gave thanks that he was, in fact, thousands of miles away. 

But where was Ranma? Shouldn't he have been trudging along by now? 

--------------------------- 

"Son," Nodoka closed the door, cutting off the following young girls. "We must have a talk now." 

"Yeah? Good. I don't see why it has to be private, though, me and the girls shared everything when we were on the trail." 

"Everything?" Nodoka said, pausing as if considering something for a moment. "Now, son, I hear you wouldn't even look at these girls..." 

"Oh yeah, right. Who'd you hear THAT from, Akane? 'Look at 'em', heck for a couple of weeks there, I was riding 'em! Had to look at 'em then just to hold on, didn't I?" 

Nodoka blinked, somehow making a little squeegee noise as she did so. "Well, er, yes. That WOULD be appropriate. So, uhm, you 'rode' these young ladies before you all were separated?" 

Ranma thought back, the memories bringing a smile to his face. "Oh yeah. Heck all the time then. They were all riding me or I was riding them, if we didn't have to tend the cart or be training in the martial arts. Heck, I rode Kasumi for most of a day and a night there once!" 

Nodoka's knees threatened to give out. She misinterpreted the wistful grin and distant look on her son's face. Could it be? "You...and...Kasumi?" 

"Yeah. That was cool, I think Kasumi hadda be one of the best cause she was so gentle and just made me feel all warm and fuzzy when I'd lean into her." 

Nodoka blinked again. "Oh my." 

"Shampoo was cool too, when we flew together, oh that was thoroughly neat. You wouldn't think it, but she's really light, so her weight when she rode me was hardly any deal. And she gets going really quick, y'know?" 

Nodoka pulled out a paper fan and began fanning herself. "My. And you say you rode the others?" 

"Yeah, pretty much. Nabiki rode me a couple of times, but that wasn't much special, though SHE got a kick out of it. Kodachi was fun, but a little scary, y'know." Ranma shook his head, riding the tiger had been a really nerve-wracking experience and he'd been trying to convince himself that she wasn't really a cat all through the ordeal. 

"Akane was a little tricky, just getting my legs around her at the time was a pain, but interesting. I mean she's just solid muscle, and feeling the way she flexed and moved was really different from any of the others." Ranma paused, wondering why his mother had turned that strawberry color. "Ucchan was great, though. When we flew together, or she rode me, it was almost kinda poetic at times. We just seemed to move naturally together, y'know?" 

Nodoka sniffled. "Oh, Ranma, how MANLY you were. And at such a young age, too." 

"Huh?" 

At that point Ukyou interrupted the discussion by falling through the door, laughing uncontrollably. 

Neither Ranma nor Nodoka understood the "private joke" that Ukyou referred to. 

------------------------------------ 

Nabiki listened to the discussion, to the whispered explanations and speculations, and realized she'd have to move soon. They'd had two years to come to some decisions regarding how to handle this. 

She was NOT inclined to let her dear (though really slow on some things) brother/fiance die a meaningless death because his mother would consider his virginity (she considered this to be almost completely certain based on her analysis of his personality profile to date) to be a fate deserving death. 

Nabiki was not a warrior, though she could hold her own. She had some skill in Anything Goes, as well as in Amazonian Wu Shu. However, her strengths were in some of the other skills she had learned in her time in the village. Herbcraft, alchemy, shiatsu, and the secret techniques of the Chinese Amazons (as opposed to the Norwegian, South American, or Polynesian tribes) were Nabiki's favored weapons. 

She'd decided over a year ago on a course of action and had been carefully preparing the ingredients. The rarer ingredients had only recently gotten to her, and Yuan could still be counted on to send her the sort of thing that could only be gotten from the Amazons. 

Once Nabiki had put together the proper formula, there remained the question of administering it, and one final question. 

Then she'd have to decide who would tame the wild horse. A smirk appeared on her face as she pondered the possibilities. 

-------------------------------- 

Shampoo considered. If she hadn't sworn that she wouldn't use mind-altering substances on Ranma, she knew the little bottle of pills she'd picked up on Phase World would take care of some stupid "man among men" pledge. 

(Shampoo also thought that was a pretty stupid thing anyway. Now if it had been a pledge to be a woman among women, she could see it as at least a worthy goal. Or, if it had been a "man among women" - well, Ranma would have qualified as that quite handily.) 

Shampoo smiled. SHE had promised not to use magic potions or the like on Ranma. That didn't mean she couldn't get someone ELSE to use the pills, did it? 

----------------------------------- 

Ukyou held her stomach, which was still fairly sore from realizing that two completely different conversations had been taking place between Ranma and his mother. 

Ukyou blinked. Waitaminute. She'd bet, even with Shampoo spending all that time around Ranma, that Ranma still hadn't done IT. This could be a fatal thing with his mother's weird attitude. 

It was the work of a moment to realize what had to be done, and who would do it. Ukyou grinned at the thought. No, she had to make this sacrifice for Ranma's sake. 

A vision rose in Ukyou's head, of Ranma head thrown back in passion as she rode... 

"Ukyou? Are you okay? You look a little feverish." 

Ukyou blinked. "Oh, heh heh. Sorry, I was just thinking about something, Kasumi." 

Kasumi nodded and turned back to her own contemplation. If she hit those three shiatsu points, hmmm. She might be able to get Ranma past this difficult point in his life. 

---------------------------------- 

"" 

"" She'd decided that sending letters wasn't enough. Today she would CALL him. 

"Ah, Tendo-san, Master Ken has spoken of you and his other training partner." The butler's voice was accented but otherwise passable in his Japanese. 

Akane all but shot off sparks. Ken had spoken of her! Little hearts floated all around her. 

"He's out with his girlfriend Eliza at the moment. Do you want to leave a message?" 

Little hearts crashed to the ground with the sound of glass breaking. Akane stared at the betraying and now crumpled telephone. "Girlfriend?" 

"Gee, Akane, some of us might want to use the phone ourselves." Nabiki shook her head, wondering once again if Akane was really related to her. It was something she'd wondered about since their reunion. 

"His girlfriend?" Akane carefully put the crumpled receiver back on its cradle. "His girlfriend Eliza. He's out with his girlfriend Eliza." 

Vanilla pondered the young girl standing by the phone and shook her head. She quickly crossed over to Akane and gently put a hand on her shoulder. "You need to stake claim on male, that way no one take what is your property. Otherwise someone else just come along and pffffttt! You end up watching YOUR property go off with other womans." 

Akane blinked and regarded the redeyed amazon in front of her. 

Vanilla nodded. "Is way of warrior, to strike fast, strike hard, make intentions plain. Seize moment!" 

Akane rolled her eyes. "This is Japan, not the Amazon village, you just don't do things that way here." 

Vanilla regarded Akane, cocking her head to the side. "You no tell boyfriend you interested. Now other girl stake claim. What part of this no apply?" 

Akane blinked and looked down. She blinked again, then moved off silently, deep in thought. 

Vanilla nodded, satisfied that she had reached her sister warrior. If only she could solve her own problems that easily. 

------------------------------- 

"So, Kasumi," Shampoo sat next to her "sister" and regarded the big pile of parts that Ranma was unloading. "Cured or suppressed?" 

"Altered. You?" Kasumi allowed a slight smile to cross her face. 

"Cured." Shampoo smiled as she saw what it was that Ranma was putting together. 

"I only transform into a unicorn now during the full moon." Kasumi shrugged. "It's a lot more predictable and liveable. As you've discovered, I'm sure, it's easier to alter or suppress the Jusenkyo curses than eliminate them entirely." 

Shampoo nodded. "Was on space station. Using device called 'transmat' which move you from one place to another. Other end blow up. Shampoo stuck in between until airen save Shampoo, override controls and put Shampoo back together again. When put back together, Shampoo no have curse." 

"Ukyou has control of her curse. For the most part." Kasumi watched her "little brother" putting together a vehicle that looked like it had pieces of motorcycle and pieces of jet mixed up. "I changed mine through an ancient ritual dealing with some ancient moon worshippers. 

"Nabiki suppresses hers through a bracelet. It works MOST of the time, she says." Kasumi smiled. 

"Ranma have something similar, except he just work at repelling accidental splashings." 

Kasumi nodded. "Well, we HAVE had these curses for awhile, of course we'd all find ways to work around them. Akane mentioned something about using some ancient chi ritual to suppress her own change." 

"Airen's cure no work that well. It deflect splashes accidental in nature. No work against deliberate." 

"Wait till his mother's away, then we can find out what Ranko is like." Kasumi exchanged a mischievous glance with Ukyou. It wouldn't be BORING, that was for sure. 

------------------------------ 

Ranma set the power cord up, clicked the battery switch to charge, and allowed himself a moment of rest. 

Shampoo REALLY loved her hovercycle. 

The sudden loss of flight ability after her transmat accident had left the Amazon looking for some alternative. The Tengu powerarmor was faster, but the NG-300 "Speedster" they'd gotten from that chop-shop recruiter (who would likely think twice before attacking an Amazon in powerarmor again) was Shampoo's favorite. 

Small, manueverable, capable of a top speed of 220mph, with a ceiling of 120ft, and very responsive. It had required some repairs during the period that Shampoo had learned to use it, but she had gotten that determined look in her eyes and Ranma knew better than to get in Shampoo's way when she had her back up like that. 

Of course, he wanted to add just a few improvements. Little tweaks here and there. He'd wait for her birthday and surprise her by upgrading the laser or something. 

He'd just finished tightening the frame when he was swept up by five feet of enthusiastic amazon. 

---------------------------------------------- 

The Jusenkyo Guide placed the young fruit bat in a safe place before running out to see another young man wandering dangerously close to the springs. "Oh sir, you not want go there, is very dangerous!" 

"Where the hell am I now?" Ryouga turned around. "What kind of place is this?" 

"This very terrible, very cursed area known as Jusenkyo. Over one hundred spring here, each with own terrible tragic story." 

"Jusenkyo? It's real? So this is where Ranma and Shampoo got cursed." Ryouga wondered if maybe that meant that the village Shampoo had spoken of was around here as well. 

"Sir, you come away from cursed spring before you..." 

"Oh no, sir, you fall in very terrible, very cursed spring of drowned..." The Guide wasn't sure how to translate that into Japanese. He took a deep breath and decided to go with just a literal translation. "Yellow little pudgy kind of squirrel-fox kind of creature that fall out of hole in sky caused by two ancient magicians dueling!" 

Ryouga looked down at himself, over at the Guide, and very distinctly said "Piii KA!" 

The Guide blinked. "Not sure what it is. Short version is Spring-of-Drowned-Otherdimensional-Critter-Number-Three." 

"Pika..." The little yellow critter sighed. "Pika?!" 

"Yes. Have mirror, just one moment sir." 

Upon being presented with the mirror, Ryouga sniffled. All shojo manga fantasy characters had some insufferably cute pet sidekick. He strongly resembled exactly that sort of thing. "PiiKA!" 

Ryouga sniffled again and looked at those sparkly eyes, that squirrelish looking crooked tail, that plump body. Oh, the shame, the horror. 

---------------------------- 

Tatewaki Kuno sneezed, then eyed his "troops" for the morning assault. THIS time, he would have his goddesses. After two years of failure, he would have them. 

"You know your mission," he informed the kendo team. "You know the prize. We shall not accept defeat. We shall not accept anything less than total and complete victory, shall we?" 

"But sir, this isn't exactly regulation..." 

Kuno eyed the subordinate with a gaze that suggested contempt. "My travels did suggest that unusual problems require unusual solutions. The warrior uses what tools can be found to grant victory over any obstacles." 

"Yes, but..." 

"SASUKE!" 

"Yes, Master Kuno?" 

"These devices, do they perform as advertised?" 

"They've never been tested, Master Kuno. I just had them built today. Per your orders, I found a promising individual who put these together." 

"Excellent, Sasuke. Tomorrow, then, we shall enjoy victory and these women shall be freed of whatever illusion that keeps them from the side of the great Tatewaki Kuno!" 

Hiroshi glanced at Daisuke. "I don't like the sound of this at all." 

------------------------------------------------------- 

Shampoo ignored the small crowd that had gathered. The charge read full, and as there were a lot of new parts on it, this was almost a maiden flight. 

Electric engines came online. Shampoo's grin faltered for a moment and she looked uncertainly at Ranma. 

"I added a noise suppression system." Ranma thought the neighbors would appreciate it. He turned back to the task of putting his workshop underground where passing eyes couldn't see it. 

The easiest method was the method he had chosen. Two little reprogrammable workbots (about the size of a five gallon jug) were outfitted with digger arms and sent down to a distance of 900 feet. They would excavate the area, seal it, then begin work on the access tunnel. 

Shampoo blinked as her airen turned away from her, knowing from his reaction to her earlier hug that the vision of the mind-controlled amazon that had hurt him continued to haunt him. The rest of her smile left her face until she forced one back into place. 

Shampoo turned her attention back to the little cycle and shot it up to the maximum height. 

She waited until the "shaky" feeling caused by the hoverjets losing purchase passed, then dropped twenty feet. Bleeding power to the rear jet, Shampoo shot forward. 

Shampoo's grin returned as she leaned underneath the windshield. One hundred feet up, and travelling at a little over two hundred miles per hour, Shampoo was enjoying herself quite thoroughly. Wind whipping through her hair, it was easy for Shampoo to picture herself as some hightech valkyrie. Or perhaps some princess out to survey her early morning domain. 

An Amazon on her hovercycle. What could be more natural? 

---------------------------------------- 

Alarm klaxons began screeching. 

"Alert, alert, alert! Unidentified aircraft approaching! All defensive systems ENGAGE!" 

Lady Akiko stepped from the elevator and looked around her control room. "What is the meaning of this? Get me a visual!" 

A large viewscreen flicked and showed a purple-haired girl in a Chinese pantsuit on some sort of jetcycle. 

"So..." Akiko Mishima clenched a fist and stared at the screen. "He DARES?!" 

"Lady Akiko?" 

"He not only has that cat android, but he's made ANOTHER ONE?!" 

"Lady, I don't think..." The technician trailed off as her boss glared daggers at the little supporting character that was daring to correct her. "Never mind." 

"Ahem. Arisa! Ready Poison One!" 

"Arisa still has the, ah, you-know." 

Lady Akiko stopped. Arisa couldn't do much if she couldn't leave the bathroom for more than a few minutes. "Back up pilots, go!" 

"Uhm, ma'am? You laid off the backup pilots last week." 

------------------------------------ 

Shampoo swooped in, landing her hoverbike neatly in the tight space between the outer wall and the massive workshop. She had to get ready for school, after all. 

"C'mon, we've got to get to school early. You don't want to be late to your first day, do you?" Nabiki chided from the veranda. 

"Airen go school too? Shampoo get to sit next to him all day, is good!" 

"You're not the only one going to school," Akane told her colleague. "And he's not YOUR airen." 

"Akane? You're actually anxious to go to school today?" Nabiki raised an eyebrow. 

"Of course," Akane's gaze was flat and unreadable. "If I understood English, I could go visit Ken. I'm sure this is all just some misunderstanding." 

"Yeah, right." 

Shampoo and Vanilla exchanged a look, Shampoo grinning. One less competitor. 

--------------------------------------- 

Kasumi took a moment to look over her iinazuke/little brother. Tall, leanly muscular, with eyes that seemed to glitter unnaturally, his long hair tied back in a pony tail. 

His dragon nature seemed to have leaked slightly over into his uncursed form. What she could tell from the brief hug she'd given him was that his body felt almost like it was sculpted from rock or wood. There had been a feeling of smooth hardness about him. 

She also noted that he had seemed embarrassed and couldn't quite bring himself to hug back. Which had proved the point she had wanted to determine. Unfamiliar with any sort of physical affection. 

The dragon nature was most visible in his eyes, the enlarged canine teeth, and the slight point to his ears. 

His eyes. Kasumi's attention kept coming back to that feature. The old line about the hypnotic gaze of serpents played in her mind. Certainly his eyes seemed to draw one in. Kasumi chewed on her lip as she thought about those eyes. 

Once this morning, those eyes had caught her. Just for a moment, but she'd felt all her skills and training and iron control desert her in that moment. She'd wanted...well, she wasn't quite sure what she'd wanted. 

Shrugging, Kasumi tried to turn her attention back to the study guide. She was finding it surprisingly difficult. 

-------------------------------------- 

Nabiki, Ukyou, Akane, Ranma, Shampoo, and Vanilla were walking to school when the crowd of boys came into view. 

"What the heck?" Ranma stopped. 

"It's a bunch of boys who are fighting us to get the privledge of dating us," Nabiki said drily, not mentioning that they were STILL just going after Akane and Ukyou. This really really rankled Nabiki. 

"They study Amazon Law?" Vanilla blinked and studied the group with a cool expression. 

"Shampoo just got uniform now has to get it dirty fighting stupid boys who wants date Amazon womans?" 

"This is MY fight. Stay OUT of it." Akane growled as she looked over the crowd. 

"Be my guest, Akane, I know that I'M not looking forward to this crap." Ukyou drew her spatula. 

"Can no do, Akane. They is outsider males. Nabiki is Amazon, therefore Akane is sister to Clan sister. They challenge you, but is not one on one. Some have weapon. Shampoo is effectively War Leader for this group. Vanilla is Champion. Ukyou has shared blood and salt with Shampoo, is sister to Shampoo." 

Nabiki shrugged. "She's got a point there, Akane. If they want to do one-on-one formal challenges, that's a different matter." 

"We does special attacks on count of five, clear a path?" 

"My flour bombs and exploding tempura flakes don't have that kinda range." 

Shampoo glanced at Ukyou, noted Vanilla's shrug and Nabiki shaking her head. "No chi attacks? Shampoo have to take couple of days give sisters very special training." 

Ranma shrugged, reached into a pocket and drew a small device out of his pocket. "I could send a sonic beam through the center of them." 

"Not use hightech stuff yet, airen. Right now is just melee fighting, simple weapons. Akane? One, two, three." 

"HA DO KEN!" Akane's chi fireball left a black streak in the ground underneath as it raced towards the crowd. 

Shampoo summoned her own chi into the devastating manuever she'd learned on that one world. "FLAME ARROW!"(1) 

The five watched as a path was cleared, mainly by people scrambling to get out of the way of the two attacks. 

As they did so, five other figures stepped forward. 

"Power armor?" Ranma and Shampoo exclaimed with slightly more interest. 

"BWAHAHAHA!" Kuno stood in front of the mecha, bokken raised high. "It is beneath the dignity of a true samurai to use such methods, but then, that is what lackeys are for!" 

One of the power armors turned to another. "I dunno, lackey just doesn't do it for me..." 

Another power held up a gunhand. "Well, I prefer it to 'flunky' myself, but it does seem to lack a certain dignity." 

"Silence, peasants!" Kuno snarled at his troops. "Now, my dears, I shall at last..." Kuno's voice trailed off as something penetrated. 

The five continued to walk forward, Ranma and Shampoo mainly paying attention to the power armor. 

"Steam powered power armor? Look, they're on extension cords!" Ranma snickered at such an obvious target. 

Vanilla twitched. There was something very disturbing about this. An image of a huge tacky orange and white robot on an extension cord flashed across her consciousness, making her wonder where THAT had come from. 

"Daisuke, use your rifle. THAT one. FIRE!" 

Daisuke's power armor shot a high powered stream of water, completely drenching the group. 

Akane's glare was murderous as the rhino stepped forward, having been caught unprepared for the wave of water. Ukyou was sufficiently startled that wings popped out of her back. Nabiki, Shampoo, and Vanilla merely got wet. 

"Oh no, look at my clothes," Ranma-chan whimpered. "And I wanted to make a good impression today, too." 

"PONY TAILED GIRL!" Kuno started forward. He was interrupted as a small, but quite muscular, rhino slammed into him. A moment later, carried by the force of the charge, Tatewaki Kuno was imbedded in the wall. 

"Hurmf!" The rhino snorted and looked quite miserably at the group. 

"Hot water!" Ukyou exclaimed. 

"Uhm," Daisuke said in his power armor. "Pardon me, but..." 

Vanilla and Nabiki quite calmly went around and turned off all the portable generators. Nodding to each other, they walked past the now inert powerarmor and into the school. 

----------------------------------------------- 

"Battle of Hastings." "375.12" "Shakespeare, at least by most sources. Some feel it was Francis Bacon and plagarized." "Ieyasu, who wasn't nearly that nice in person." "Nobunaga, who wasn't nearly that nasty in person." "1875." Ranma looked bored. 

Mister Matsudeira was playing "stump the new student." He'd quickly been able to eliminate both Shampoo and Vanilla, and had smirked as the two girls' educational shortcomings were exposed. Shampoo had been embarrassed. Vanilla had simply blinked. 

This Ranma Saotome on the other hand... 

"Thulium after 2250, Gold from ancient times until stable extraterrestrial contact." 

"Please restrict yourself from these flights of imagination, Mister Saotome. Gold was the correct answer." Matsudeira pushed his glasses back up on his nose. "Well, Mister Saotome, if you're so smart, solve this!" 

"I thought this was English class," said Akane to her neighbor Ukyou. 

Matsudeira finished writing the equation out, covering both blackboards in a long formula. "Well, wise guy?" 

"Teacher?" 

Matsudeira looked smugly at the student. "Yes, Mister Saotome?" 

"Is that a dot there between the three and the nine?" 

Matsudeira turned, frowned, and erased the errant chalk mark. 

"Really, teacher, this is too simple." Ranma snorted. "Look, it's a textbook example of trying to find a Unified Field Theory. This is mathematical proof of a more than a four dimensional world. Using these equations you come up with the answer of fifteen. Of course, that's wrong, but that's where this goes, now if you want it corrected..." 

Matsudeira turned, glanced at the book on quantum theory he'd copied it from, and stared for a few heartbeats. "Saotome, go stand in the hall," his voice was a ragged whisper. (2) 

"Teacher?" 

"GO STAND IN THE HALL!" Matsudeira's eyes were getting a little wild looking. "The rest of the class, turn to page 45 of the textbooks..." 

----------------------------------------- 

"Hiroshi?" 

"Yes, Daisuke?" 

"Any luck?" 

"I think I may have moved an inch." 

"It'll take us all day to get the power turned back on at this rate." 

"How do I get myself into these things?" 

"Because you've got the hots for Akane, Gosunkugi. That's why. Me, I'm here because of that show of 'solidarity' the girls did. Nobody dates anyone until this Akane & Ukyou thing is resolved." 

"Thank goodness the air vents work." 

Everyone murmurred agreement to Sanjuro's statement. 

"Still," Hiroshi said a moment later. "It went better than I thought it would." 

There was a brief silence. "Damn, I've got an itch." 

"Maybe we should call for help?" 

"With the echoes in this thing? No way." 

Another pause. 

"Damn pigeons," swore Daisuke. 

---------------------------------------------- 

"Fi-fi-FIANCEE!" 

Kuno stood up at his desk, his eyes wild. 

"Yeah, your pony tailed goddess, Akane, Ukyou, (myself, not like you or anyone else around here seems to notice (grumble, complain, grumble)) and those two other girls you saw this morning. All engaged to be married." 

The thought to occur at that moment to Kuno was that whoever the scoundrel, that should be HIM! He could just picture himself, surrounded by loving wives. 

A piece of chalk bounced off Kuno's forehead. "Kuno, go stand in the hall!" 

"Yes sir," Kuno's voice was distracted as he considered doing this and that, and having this and that done to him. Why he had to go find the parents and convince them that these engagements should be switched to him. 

For was he not Tatewaki Kuno, a true samurai! 

=========================================== 

(1)It just looks like a Kamehameha. So does the Hadoken. At the time that Goku first learned the manuever, he could just break brick walls with it, and even then not very thick ones. (Pilaf's tower held him quite well until the full moon came up.) So don't expect these people to blow mountains apart with the manuever. Maybe in "Fist Of Orion"- not here. (2)Petty, off on a power trip, has his own agenda that doesn't actually involve education. Didn't we all have teachers like this? 

Series that have been crossed over so far in A Very Scary Bet: (this is an eclectic series where craziness is supposed to abound, after all) DOCTOR WHO: (UK) live action series about a time travelling alien with good intentions and the desire to meddle. RANMA 1/2: (J) anime about a martial artist teenage boy, his strange Chinese curse, and the even stranger people around him. SAILOR MOON: (J) sentai anime series about reincarnated female warriors out to save the world from recurrent evil. TENCHI MUYO: (J) anime about a young boy priest/martial artist related to extraterrestrial royalty and the strange (often alien) people around him. CATGIRL NUKUNUKU: (J) anime about a girl who's actually a high powered android with the brain of a cat providing the emotional and reactive portions of the mind. HOKUTO NO KEN: (J) angst filled anime about high powered martial artists and the consequence of duty unfulfilled. EVANGELION: (J) anime based on Revelations as seen through the X-files. RIFTS (US): a game setting/mileau of a future world where magic has awakened, the dimensional barriers frequently fail, and hitech and magic are used by all the various sides of a whole lotta conflicts. i typically keep a set of the books near the fanfic pile for people to read during Metroanime meetings when we're showing something that they might have already seen. POKEMON (US): aka "Pocket Monsters". None of the basics really appear, but Ryouga's got some serious problems coming with him having fallen in "Spring of Drowned Pikachu." 

Planned: CUTEY HONEY: (J) series dealing with an android girl, this one a bit different from NukuNuku. She fights an ancient recurrent evil, just like Sailor Moon does. DEVILMAN: (J) anime series dealing with a boy who takes on the power of a demon in order to fight demons. Akira Fudoh shows up after volume 2 of the OAV to join the Senshi and Cutey in fighting what turns out to be a common enemy. OH MY GODDESS: (J) anime series dealing with the goddesses Belldandy, Urd, and Skuld and the love affair between Belldandy and Keiichi (a mortal engineering student.) EL HAZARD: (J) anime series dealing with an ancient world. One of the Ifurita series androids joins the cast from this side trip, to the horror of many of the rest of the cast. THE MOUSE THAT ROARED: (?) it's been years since i've seen it, but there is a planned use for the Grand Duchy Of Fenwick. DARKSTALKERS: (J) at least two of the characters are gonna turn out to come into this mess. One, Dimitri, is going to be one of Beryl's competitors. With him on the side of the bad guys, and after several of the girls, how can Frank or Talbain NOT show up? Talbain and the Senshi. Hmmmm. 

Fist of Orion is comparitively tame, crossover wise. 


	3. Chapter Three

A Very Scary Bet, Rough  
part 3: My Women From To-Kay-Oh?!?!  
by greggsharp, metroanime@mindspring.com  
http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com  
various people own the various char. no trademark infringement is intended.  
much thanks for my pre-readers who have helped enormously.  
this is written for enjoyment, distributed for others to enjoy, and should not be confused for even a picosecond as Great Literature.  
  
----------------------------------------------------  
  
"Beryl."  
  
Queen Beryl, Dark Mistress of a Dark Kingdom, flinched. "Metal'la?"  
  
"I am not amused, Beryl."  
  
"But I..."  
  
"Things have progressed beyond where I can trust you to resolve them on your own." The voice sounded irritated. "Your generals might be able to handle it, if it were just the Inner Senshi. However, there is a gathering storm that threatens to rend the darkness."  
  
"Tell me, great Metal'la! Tell me, and I shall..." Beryl stopped, feeling a telekinetic pinch of her windpipe. Not enough to permanently close that tube, but enough to remind Beryl of her place in this chain of command.  
  
She was not at the top rung. She was just the highest rung that would normally be visible to casual scrutiny.  
  
"Step aside for the moment, O foolish Queen. Rather than let the allies gather, one of my own colleagues has come up with...an idea."  
  
"Yes, great Metallica."  
  
"THAT'S METAL'LA, YOU STUPID BIMBO! Call me that once more and I'll force you to watch Barney videos until the NEXT Millenium. Ready your forces and attack here." A vision of a high school appeared. "You will be going after an area and an opponent quite different from your ancient enemy, the Senshi."  
  
"But, Great One!" Beryl stopped as she felt Metal'la's gaze sweep over her. "Yes, Great One. Where is this place?"  
  
"It is in Okayama. Not far in mortal distances. There is a suitable weak point between dimensions for you to access it. Your forces will dispatch and end the threat of another of this world's defenders.  
  
"Do not worry about the Senshi. One of my colleagues will send one of his own generals to deal with them."  
  
Beryl was briefly glad none of her subordinates were nearby. It would be a pain to recruit and break in new ones.  
  
----------------------------------------------------  
  
Class stopped abruptly with the sound of splashing water, and Kuno's voice crying out "Pony Tailed Girl!"  
  
"Excuse please, teacher." Shampoo stood and glared towards the doorway. "This something Shampoo needs to take care of RIGHT NOW."  
  
"What could possibly be so important, Miss Shampoo, that you would further disrupt class?"  
  
Shampoo sighed as the sound of some woman screaming faded into the distance with the occasional broken prose fragment indicating Kuno's pursuit. She was reluctant to speak, but figured that when everyone understood the danger, they'd step back.  
  
"Some time ago, Kuno, Shampoo, Ranma, boy name Ryouga, and traveler name Doctor go many places. Kuno pull trick on Ranma one time, use device make Ranma act strange if use right 'trigger'."  
  
"Some sort of hypnosis," mused the teacher. "Hypnotic triggers?"  
  
"Yes. That word Doctor use. Airen learn how to do...things...under hyp-no-sis. Many problems. Kuno do one thing. Many problems result. Very dangerous. Get him engaged once already."  
  
"Engaged?" Akane and Ukyou managed to say in unison. Vanilla merely shook her head.  
  
Shampoo nodded. "Is tragic terrible story. Girl try to kiss Ranma to see what like. Reflexes take over, taught by machine. He kiss back. Very terrible. He no can help, usually very unhappy when hyp-not-ic tri-gger let go." Shampoo frowned as she realized anew that she'd relied way too much on the TARDIS' translation effect.  
  
"He's a terrible kisser?" Akane shrugged. "Big deal."  
  
"No," Shampoo said solemnly. "Is terrible because of how good airen is at kissing." She didn't want to say this in front of everyone, but pride in her airen kept her talking. (1)  
  
"Oh...really?" Ukyou almost purred, speculating. She failed to notice the same look of speculation in more than one classmate's face.  
  
Yuka and Sayuri pulled out the booklets that Nabiki had sold them that morning about the complete hunk they'd seen earlier. Since the school had also witnessed Akane turning into a rhino, and the hunk turning into a girl, they had no reason to doubt the accuracy of the less fantastic sections.  
  
"He promise Shampoo be very next one he kiss, though Shampoo see what happen to last girl and think maybe even Shampoo not ready for that."  
  
---------------------------  
  
Ranko masked her presence as best she was able, running from the hentai who kept trying to grope her.  
  
Stupid boy. Even after the curse had been explained and demonstrated right in front of him, he still didn't get it.   
  
"Pony tailed girl! Where are you, my love?"  
  
Ranko waited as the samurai passed beneath the ceiling panel. She was also distressed by getting her clothes all dusty.  
  
"This really sucks," Ranko muttered under her breath.  
  
---------------------------  
  
"This really sucks." Well, that was what Ryouga had thought. What came out was merely a distressed sounding "Piiiiiika."  
  
He'd found the Amazon village and found something truly amazing out. His cursed form had some sort of inertial compass ability. He KNEW which way was North. He KNEW where the nearest electrical line was. He KNEW where the Guide had kept his batteries (the tall cabinet by the door.)  
  
"Ohhhhhhh. How cute!"  
  
Ryouga scampered back as he saw a vision of loveliness step before him. His little yellow jaw dropped. "Piiika PI!"   
  
It was just well that the Amazons didn't understand what Ryouga had just said.  
  
"What is it, Sash?" Another woman came into Ryouga's view. This one was at least as breathtaking as the first one.  
  
"Look, it's a little yellow Mokona!"  
  
The second girl looked Ryouga over with a slight frown. "Isn't that the little white critter in those Japanese comic books you get? It looks kinda stupid to me."  
  
"No," Sash switched to Japanese as this just seemed appropriate since it was a scene right out of one of her beloved Japanese manga. They were hard to get, but Sash had discovered a mail order service. "This is DESTINY!"  
  
"It kinda looks like a rodent. Or maybe a koala with Hepatitis."  
  
"No, Lufa, this is MY DESTINY! All those Japanese comic books were actually to prepare me for my mission in life!" Sash put one foot up on a convenient rock in order to pose just like various characters in those same stories. Her eyes shone as she pictured the glorious possibilities ahead of her.  
  
"Probably got a lot of fat on it. Wouldn't even taste good." Lufa was a bit more pragmatic than Sash.   
  
"Soon, I'll be granted the ability to transform into some Magical Princess by some item of power my advising mascot character will give me. Just like RAYEARTH! Then I can defend the Amazon way of life from evil Myrhh warriors and remnants of some demonic civilization."  
  
Lufa looked thoughtful. "I got downwind of some Myrrh warriors once. I agree that they SMELLED  
positively demonic."  
  
"Hah!" Sash went over to pick up the startled looking animal. "You just watch me!"  
  
As he felt the woman's hands close around him, Ryouga panicked. He felt his body react by doing  
SOMETHING.  
  
"Ai-ai-ai-aiyaaaaaaaa," Sash managed as 1,200 volts went through her body.  
  
"What do you know, it IS a magic critter. It's not supposed to do that though, is it?" Lufa looked  
down at her nice but slightly weird and currently smouldering friend. "Would it spoil this moment for you, if I put out that patch of hair which is on fire?"  
  
Ryouga ran from the scene, mentally apologizing to the girl with the lightly charred brown hair.  
  
------------------------------------------  
  
Moe and Larry had been joined by their brother Curly after Curly had finished putting his globular casing  
together and retracting his servo-arms.  
  
Curly being of somewhat higher intelligence than a toaster oven, had immediately determined that the woman watching this display was not a threat to his programmed objectives. The phrase "oh, he's so cute" was duly noted and determined not to be a command for further tasks to be accomplished.  
  
That had left assisting Moe and Larrye as tasks in the little workbot's list of assignments. A brief line of  
transmission indicated that the two other workbots were in the process of building the underground hangar and access tunnel.  
  
Sending a brief acknowledgment signal, Curly had quickly begun using lasers to heat and fuse the rocks  
and dirt into an outer wall.  
  
------------------------------------------  
  
Ranko got to the bathroom, ran the hot water, then Ranma realized he was in the GIRL'S bathroom. He  
did the natural thing and fled.   
  
Of course, by now he was late for his next class.  
  
Tatewaki Kuno saw him and ran forward with his bucket.  
  
Ranma decided to be pro-active. A flying circle kick knocked the samurai out, but water splashed everywhere again.  
  
Ranko returned to the restroom in search of hot water.  
  
------------------------  
  
The Machine Club (formerly the Chem Club until a fair amount of money crossed hands) prepared to commit their evil deeds.  
  
Not that they thought that there was anything particularly bad involved. Etchi, yes. Bizarre, definitely. Dishonest, certainly. But in their quest for Akane Tendo and Ukyou Kuonji (and maybe those two cute foreign students) no sacrifice was too great or mecha too complicated!  
  
The Photography Club (in an arrangement by one Nabiki Tendo) had already sold them wall poster sized photographs of the various girls. Unlike the other various purchasers, these had various tags attached to them.  
  
Each had their name and homeroom displayed at the bottom. A largely blank sheet to the left noted their weak points. A more complete form to the right listed their observed skills.   
  
Each member planned on assisting (for large sums of money) Tatewaki Kuno in his quest by building powerful mecha to capture one or more of the girls in question.  
  
What they planned on doing afterwards was eliminating Tatewaki Kuno and going ahead with their own agenda, of course.  
  
They were villains, after all. Betrayal and hidden agendas were part of the territory.  
  
For what came afterwards, each had their own little plans. Akira Fumiya even planned on going after the woman who'd sold them their "So You Want To Be A Mad Scientist Villain?" handbook.   
  
The large stack of hentai manga and lemon tapes were (ahem) research of course.  
  
Not that their first design worked all that well, but they already had new designs ready to go!  
  
Akira gave a maniacal laugh, picturing what he would do to a helpless Akane Tendo.  
  
This got him hit by an eraser thrown by his teacher, as he hadn't exactly been paying attention to the class he was currently in.   
  
-------------------------  
  
Sasuke sighed and began the laborious task of cleaning the old domicile. Working for the Kuno family, well, it was often interesting, you could say that.   
  
Tatewaki Kuno, the young Master, had come home one day ranting and raving about many truly strange and wondrous things. Well, he'd always been a bit eccentric.  
  
The strange thing had been that young Master Kuno had acted a bit different thereafter. Where he had delighted in samurai epics and been entranced by them, he now savagely ripped them apart for inaccuracies and details missed.  
  
Before, his view had been that he was born a samurai and therefore pedestrian concerns were beneath him. Afterwards, kendo, the matches and tournaments that he excelled at, seemed to bore him. Instead, he added Art to his portfolio and actually seemed to have some talent.  
  
Before, technology had been one of those pedestrian concerns. Now...  
  
The Furinkan Chem Club was ONE source, but Sasuke had observed that they weren't quite as effective as  
one would hope. That brought him to the current spread of magazines that he had gathered.  
  
Tokyo Beat. Popular Mecha. The Mishima Heavy Industries Military catalog. Daitokuji Electronics Spring  
catalog. The Army Surplus store flyer. A flyer for some place called Spells R Us. A place called "The Cursed Antique Shop" over on Osoroshiisa Street.  
  
Any of these might have what the young Master required to gain victory in his current endeavors.   
  
Sasuke looked at the clock, decided he still had an hour before the young Master would show up, and picked one at random to investigate.  
  
-------------------------  
  
"Saotome-kun, you should join our Kempo Klub!"  
  
"Saotome-san! For the pride of our school, join the Science Club!"  
  
Splash! "Saotome-chan! You could be a big help to us if you join the Cooking Club!"  
  
Ranma directed a glare towards Nabiki, knowing who was selling the little dossiers with the glossy photos  
and vital statistics.  
  
"Shampoo-chan! Vanilla-chan!"  
  
Hot water splashed into Ranko, who again became Ranma. He gave a grateful glance to Shampoo.  
  
"Airen. You promise you kiss Shampoo. Before stupid stickboy catch you, you should make good on your promise!" Shampoo looked quite nervous. Not that she wouldn't face the most fearsome foe, or back down before an opponent. However, this was airen, the airen she had hurt so terribly while under the Master's mind control that he had spent an entire week in the nutrient bath of the healing chamber. What if...what if he couldn't...  
  
Ukyou wondered what had happened to Shampoo. Stepping close to the Amazon, she spoke just loud enough for the other girl to hear. "Hey girl, what's wrong? You remember when we shared blood and salt back in China before we came over to Japan? You're my blood-sister, remember, talk to me."   
  
Shampoo nodded and realized she was trembling. "Talk to Ukyou later."  
  
"I don't know about this, Shampoo." Ranma eyed the crowd now surrounding them, waiting to see the (scandalous) display of public affection.  
  
A number of the crowd were arguing with a lot of the other members of the crowd. It seemed like half the boys didn't want Shampoo's lips to be claimed, while the other half wanted to see this special technique demonstrated so they could find some girl later on in the interest of "practicing."   
  
Vanilla watched without blinking, curious as to how this would develop.  
  
Akane idly popped her knuckles. "What's the big deal? A kiss is just a kiss. A sigh is just a sigh." She blushed a little as she considered Ken and wondered what it would be like to kiss a real man like him.  
  
Nabiki, never one to spend productive time idly gawking, started taking bets as to whether or not Ranma would kiss Shampoo or if something would interrupt.  
  
Shampoo watched Ranma as he was glancing nervously about and decided to take matters in her own hands. Slipping her arms around him, she drew him in for a kiss.  
  
Ukyou watched as Ranma's startled expression gave way to something else and she remembered the talk  
about "programmed responses" and the like. Ranma drew Shampoo in the rest of the way and gave a tentative brush of the lips followed by a firm passionate kiss.  
  
Shampoo squeaked and the squeak gave way to a broken moan that could be heard quite clearly through  
the liplock. Ukyou could see how flushed the Amazon was getting and the way the girl's limbs began twitching. For long moments they held that pose. Finally, they parted and Shampoo slid to the ground, staring at Ranma with tear filled eyes.  
  
The watching crowd went from stunned silence to rapid speculation.  
  
"Aaaaah. No! Shampoo, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! It...I...Aaaaaah!" Ranma's arms were waving around, he was shaking his head, and looked ready to bolt at any moment. "I just _knew_ this was gonna happen..."  
  
Shampoo tried to lift herself, quite obviously couldn't get the knees working, and (shocking the heck out of almost everyone who knew her) broke out into song. Ranma fled at high speeds by the second line.  
  
Vanilla and Nabiki were able to follow the softly spoken Mandarin, Nichieju dialect, and both were surprised at the depth of emotion as Shampoo's voice trailed off.  
  
Nabiki waved her hand in front of Shampoo's face, noting the complete lack of reaction.  
  
"Kuonji-san, your assistance." Vanilla went to Shampoo and lifted her arms.  
  
"Call me Ukyou, Vanilla." Ukyou lifted Shampoo's legs and noticed that the other was unusually limp.  
  
The three had gone perhaps a block before Vanilla glanced down at her fellow Amazon and began speculating. Shampoo's grin was still in place and she still showed every sign of being limp and unresisting.  
  
Vanilla began to speculate on this "kissing" thing. As she was a fiancee of Ranma (she even had her membership card), was she not also entitled to such a thing?  
  
Ukyou was already working out scenarios. (3)  
  
Unfortunately, so was fully half of the female population of Furinkan High School and two spies that had watched the whole thing.  
-------------------------------------------------------------  
(1)- Since some readers didn't get it: the label of  
"Advanced Marital Arts Techniques" that Kuno  
thought was a typo, WAS spelled correctly.  
(2)- No trademark infringement intended on this either.  
(3)- No i'm not planning on writing a lemon sidestory  
to this.  
  
A Very Scary Bet, Rough version  
part 3b: My Women From To-Kay-Oh?!?!  
by greggsharp, metroanime@mindspring.com  
http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com  
various people own the various char. no trademark infringement is intended.  
this is written for enjoyment, distributed for others to enjoy, and should not be confused for even a picosecond as Great Literature.   
  
-------------------^_^----------------------------  
  
"We're on TV again?"  
  
"Face it, Usagi, it was only a matter of time before SOMEONE got pictures of the Senshi at work," Ami  
sat back and watched her computer continue to crunch the data.  
  
"What the heck was that anyway? Could it be Jadeite has returned?" Makoto played absently with something in her hands. "Or is this a new menace?"  
  
"Did you mean the youma or the flying oversized recreational vehicle," Rei drummed her fingers against the table. "I still don't trust this guy."  
  
"Well..." Ami and Makoto began.  
  
"You're right, Rei! This might be another Dark Kingdom trick!" Luna nodded, then paused when she noticed the dark expressions on two faces.  
  
"I don't think so. There was no indication of anything other than a high technology level on my sensors," Ami said after a moment. "I... Makoto-san!"  
  
"Huh. What is it, Ami?"  
  
Ami hesitated, then pulled a card similar to the one in Makoto's hands out of a book.  
  
Makoto blinked. "No way. You too?"  
  
"What? What? What?" Usagi looked from one card to the other rapidly.  
  
"What the? 'Ranma No Iinazuke Official Membership Card'?" Minako's eyes went wide. "What kind of club is this?"   
  
"It was years ago," said Makoto with a sigh. "I first met my sempai, Ranma Saotome..."  
  
p--insert wavy lined flashback effect here--------------/p  
  
"Ahhhh-ta!" The little boy flipped and leapt about, seeming to defy gravity as he went.  
  
"A-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!" One of the boy's opponents threw playing cards that embedded themselves in an arc on the tree where the boy had been a moment ago.  
  
Makoto Kino stood next to her father and marvelled at the intricate dance taking place between three girls and a boy. Another two girls were busy with the okonomiyaki cart and deftly serving up one okonomiyaki after another with nearly as much flash as the martial arts demonstration managed.  
  
The card thrower flipped back and beamed at the audience. "Saotome School of the Anything Goes Style of Indiscriminate Grappling. Sample lessons cheap."  
  
"Daddy?" Makoto looked up at her father, newly fascinated by this martial arts stuff. She wondered if she could ever move that easily, as if gravity and inertia were concerns for lesser beings.  
  
Makoto's father grimaced, having already lost a bit of money on the shell game that the short haired girl had been running.  
  
The short haired girl noticed and winked. "For you, since you've been such a good sport, I'll throw in a discount for your daughter!"   
  
--------------end---flashback----------------  
  
"...and so I went there for almost three months until they moved again." Makoto sighed, a faraway look in her eyes.   
  
"THAT'S IT!" Ami pounced, thankfully not in a literal fashion, on Makoto. "The pink and green jumpsuit!"  
  
There were a few shudders at that color combination, and Makoto looked embarrassed. "Yes, well, it wasn't MY choice. Waitaminute. Ami? You?"  
  
Ami looked strangely satisfied. "The one with too much starch in her gi."  
  
"Aaaahh!?" An eerie chorus from three humans and two cats.  
  
"Ami, you too?" Makoto tried but couldn't remember the other students well at all.  
  
"Almost exactly the same circumstances," Ami said with a nod. "The boy was kind and gentle, and quite obviously not the one in charge. If anything, it was...Nabiki. That was her name. Nabiki Tendo."   
  
"Nabiki Tendo, eh?" Rei glanced around the table. "Well, that at least gives me something I can do a fire reading on."  
  
"So, as interesting as..." Luna stopped her eyes widening as she read the kanji on Makoto's little  
red and black card, hearing the words from earlier echo in the room. "Wait. 'Saotome final technique?' 'Ranma Saotome?' That boy?"  
  
"You're fiancees to a guy who flies around in a heavily armed recreational vehicle?" Minako stared at the card in Makoto's hands. "Oh, well, you know what they say. 'It's an ill wind that blows well.'"   
  
Artemis picked himself up from a feline facefault. "That's 'it's an ill wind that blows no good.'"  
  
Ami's fingers flew across her keyboard and she was thankful for the typing course she'd taken. One  
computer search after another flew out across the web. Searches for a Ranma Saotome came up blank, but a link to school registries DID give the location of one Nabiki Tendo at Furinkan SHS. She'd contact Makoto after the meeting and the two of them could check it out in a few days. It was still a bit of a longshot, Tendo was not that uncommon a name.  
  
"Whatever. These membership cards give Ami and Makoto the perfect cover to go investigate this guy and find out if he works for the Dark Kingdom or not." Minako smirked, hoping to tag along. The Senshi of Love had a mission.  
  
"Waitaminute," Ami stopped the meeting's dispersal by holding up a hand. "My earlier search routine for Ranma Saotome pulled up a hunter."   
  
"He's a sportsman?" Minako shrugged, must mean he had money.  
  
"No, a search in the International Databases flagged some security measure and it attempted to trace  
the link. Hang on." Ami's hands flew across the keyboard for a few minutes. "Hmmmm."  
  
"Yes?!" Luna, Usagi, and Minako all but shouted.  
  
"British based agency known as UNIT, they're based in England but officially part of the United Nations. They fill the same role as the FBI's X-files group does in the US." Ami continued to type, directing her supercomputer to evade the hunter by laying out a false trail that led to the Saint Hebereke computer room. Considering that the hackers club of Saint Hebereke School For Girls was known as harmless pranksters, this ought to deflect a few suspicions.  
  
"What do they do?" Usagi asked when it became apparent no one else would.  
  
"Men in Black." Rei said, mysteriously.   
  
"Oh!" Usagi nodded. "Alien busters. That explains the ship."  
  
"We'll have to see, won't we?"  
  
---------------------------------------------  
  
"Ranma? Big brother?"  
  
"No, Akane!"  
  
"Please? Pretty please?"  
  
"Akane, you haven't even driven a motorcycle before. And it isn't safe to go from Nerima to Los Angeles  
on a hovercycle."  
  
"Oh. Well, how about..."  
  
"Later, Akane." Ranma stopped in mid-kata. "Though that's an idea in itself. We could all get together and go visit America. We could drop you off in LA, then the rest of us could go visit some of the places I've heard about."  
  
"Spring break?" Akane's eyes sparkled.  
  
"Yeah, sounds good."  
  
Akane smiled as she entered the house, she had a chance now. She might have to transfer to an American  
school, but she had a chance.   
  
--------------------------  
  
Moe, Larry, and Curly-bot continued their task.  
  
A borehole became a tunnel, the tunnel became an accessway. Dirt was lasered into rock. Rocks were lasered into walls, walls were smoothed and prepared.  
  
They were nearly tireless, working off of internal batteries that slid out of housings, to be placed in  
the chargers while fresh packs were loaded.  
  
They were workbots, after all.  
  
Unfortunately, after having watched "Snow White & The Seven Dwarves" they had this unfortunate  
tendency to break out into song while working.  
  
A tune was one of the few things that they couldn't carry.  
  
Perhaps it was fortunate that they were at the prescribed depth and the three workbots could not be heard.  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
Ukyou placed her palm against the door sensor, wondering if she should do this. Not only if it were right to do this, but who knew what sort of security measures Ranma had put into the thing.  
  
Everyone else was busy. Ranma doing katas, mainly to keep in shape. Since tonight was the first full moon, Kasumi was getting things ready for a night as the "mysterious unicorn" seen running through  
the streets of Nerima.  
  
Nabiki was off making bets as to where the unicorn would appear. Akane was getting lessons from Shampoo in how to drive a hovercycle for some strange reason.   
  
As for Vanilla, Ukyou wasn't quite sure what to make of the albino. The last Ukyou had seen, Vanilla was studying.   
  
Nodoka was moving back to her old house, satisfied that her son was manly, and concerned that he have the opportunity to be manly.  
  
Ukyou hadn't seen Ranma for years, and when he did show up again, he was almost completely different from the impulsive boy she had known.  
  
The answers, she felt, were in here. In this lab that he had built.   
  
The door didn't open, not having had her data input as an authorized user yet. Ukyou paused when a pale hand shot past her and palmed the switch.  
  
As the door hissed open, Ukyou glanced back at the unsmiling visage of Vanilla. Once again, Ukyou realized she didn't know what to make of the Amazon.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"The same as you. To know."  
  
Ukyou entered and the internal lights came on. She was peripherally aware of the door hissing closed behind Vanilla.   
  
Vanilla moved past Ukyou as the chef took in the cramped cockpit with its chairs, displays, and massive toolkit near the back.  
  
Ukyou watched Vanilla move to a console and begin typing away at a keyboard.  
  
"That's English, isn't it?" Ukyou studied the display on the screen. The smiley faces and scrolling chibi-dragons were kind of strange.  
  
"Yes," Vanilla said simply.  
  
Not for the first time, Ukyou wondered if the albino was a Vulcan. No pointed ears, so maybe she was half-  
Vulcan? "So, uhm, what are you doing?"   
  
"I am attempting to learn more of my origins. We are here for the same thing, though different directions,  
are we not? I am seeking my past, you are seeking your future." Vanilla studied the screen. "Unfortunately,  
the computer's database does not appear to cover either."  
  
"Oh," Ukyou replied, not really understanding. "Does it at least cover Ranma's past?"  
  
"I would expect so. The majority of information here deals with the future world this vehicle is from. There is also a personal log, but it is protected by a password function."  
  
"Oh." Ukyou repeated.  
  
"You do realize that the current betting by Nabiki places you within the top two probabilities for  
being Ranma's wife." Vanilla's voice was as calm as ever.   
  
"Don't count yourself out of the race yet," Ukyou grumbled as she studied the rows of text on  
the computer. "Shampoo relates more to all this tech stuff, Nabiki's sexier, and you're a better fighter and have that exotic look to you. Ranma hardly knows I exist."  
  
"Nabiki has told me of your adventures with Ranma while you were children." Vanilla brought up a different page and blinked at the odd giant robots pictured there. "The time you investigated that  
pesky poltergeist in Shinohara only to reveal that it was an inheritance scam."  
  
"Well, yeah," Ukyou colored slightly at the memory. Her and Ranchan trapped at the bottom of the well for long hours. It had been kind of...nice.  
  
"Or the Headless Houseguest, or the Gambling King, or the Glitterrock Ghost, or the Flatulence Phantom." Vanilla frowned ever so slightly on that. Nabiki's retelling of that adventure had been disquieting.  
  
Ukyou's head snapped up. "Waitaminute. How big is this password?"  
  
"Seventy four characters."  
  
"There was something that always struck me as odd. Whenever we figured out what the scam was and uncovered it, and after we hid Kodachi when she joined us, they always said the same thing. Lemmee  
see the keyboard."  
  
Ukyou's fingers flew over the keys, translating from Japanese to English. "I'd have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids."  
  
Vanilla watched without expression as the screen blinked a few times then changed to display some sort of hidden file. "Well, it's not his journal, but you've gotten something."  
  
---------------------------------  
  
Nodoka sighed and took the picture from the wall to look at it again.  
  
They had been a happy bunch, her various sorority sisters and herself. One night the beer and the sake had flowed like water, and close friends had made an agreement between themselves.  
  
If Nodoka Saotome's son HAD become a daughter, then that would have complicated things enormously. Oh yes, it would have been a mess. Not for some seppuku pledge.  
  
The agreement that would have joined the houses by having son marry daughter. And each and every one of those sorority sisters had gone and had sons. At least of the ones that had not vanished. The ones that kept up some communication all had boy children.  
  
There had been the hope growing when those two boys had shown up, speaking of her daughter, that perhaps she would be able to meet that agreement after all. She had almost dared to hope that Genma HAD been unfaithful just to meet the dictates of honor. Or perhaps as in that one book's story of the Cursed Tunnel the curse changed mind and soul to match the new body.   
  
Well, it sounded as if Mrs. Moroboshi had enough problems, and while Achika was dead and her son had turned out quite well by all accounts, there was little point in engaging Ranma to Tenchi.   
  
No, however, if things were to change...  
  
Nodoka put the picture back onto its peg, and wore a curious half-smile as she went into her reading room to consult her copy of "Lurker's Guide To Jusenkyo and Related Curses." A little light reading sounded like just the thing before bed.  
  
------------------------------------------  
  
Kasumi's clothes hit the ground as the transformation hit, drawing gasps from Ranma and Shampoo. The rest of the audience had seen it all before.  
  
"Where Ukyou? Where Vanilla? Wanted Vanilla see this."  
  
"Hmmm. Oh, they're in my lab, Shampoo. They snuck in there forty minutes ago and they're trying to navigate my database."  
  
Nabiki looked slyly over at him. "You knew they'd try this?"  
  
"Actually, I thought you'd be the first one to try it." Ranma watched the white-furred, golden maned, mythic beast step daintily out of the yard to begin her run around the neighborhood.   
  
Nabiki saw the look of concern and hurried to assure Ranma. "She does this every full moon. She tried just sticking to the backyard but apparently there's a compulsion to run wild and free that's part of the curse. Or at least not all fenced in."  
  
"Yeah, well, I worry. Maybe I ought to get a tracker or something, or some kind of panic button she can hit in that form." Ranma frowned. "After all, there's gonna be those who want to either capture or kill the unicorn, others who'll want to take the horn, and others who will just exploit her."  
  
Nabiki didn't blink until that last comment, then she winced.   
  
Unnoticed by any of them, and so concealed that even the Winnebago's passive sensors didn't detect it, a small flying crab extended a camera and began to follow the progress of the unicorn.  
  
================================  
  
A Very Scary Bet part 3c: My Women From To-Kay-Oh?!?!  
by greggsharp, metroanime@mindspring.com  
http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com  
various people own the various char. no trademark infringement is intended.  
this is written for enjoyment, distributed for others to enjoy, and should not be confused for even a picosecond as Great Literature  
.  
-------------------^_^----------------------------  
  
United Nations Intelligence Taskforce Headquarters, London England.  
  
"Sir, we've traced the search for data on 'Ranma Saotome' to a Japanese senior high school. The 'Saint Hebereke's School For Girls- Junior Hackers Club' appears to be the source."  
  
Pursing his lips, the Colonel seemed to try to recall something, then finally gave up after a few moments. "I just came on shift. Exactly who is 'Ranma Saotome'?"  
  
"One of the Doctor's associates, sir. Bit of a martial artist, quite the mechanic too. Did a nice upgrade on the EMP gun. Worked with Q over in Her Majesty's Secret Service during that bit with the viral encoding messages in the Guinness Stout."  
  
"Ah," the Colonel said with a frown. Tampering with one's stout. QUITE unBritish. Glad that was over and done with. And this lad had helped to save the stout? "Well, then, send an investigative unit out to check out this 'Saint Hebereke's' and see exactly what they've got on our ally. It might be quite innocent, eh?"  
  
"Yes sir," the Corporal said seriously. He'd had to go for three days without a drop of beer during that incident. The boys in the force were quite anxious to help pay the Ranma boy back for resolving the situation so swiftly.  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
The class was boring beyond belief, at least as far as Ranma was concerned. Simple math. Bah.   
  
Almost as if in answer to the prayer from a dozen students, the sky opened up outside Furinkan.  
  
"Look at that!"  
  
"Sit down, Mister Aida!"  
  
"Monsters?!"  
  
Shampoo woke up. "Monsters?"  
  
Vanilla raised an eyebrow as she looked at all the vaguely manlike figures dropping out of the rip.  
  
"Why are they HERE?!" Ukyou asked, curiously. "Isn't this the sort of thing that happens in Juuban all the time?"  
  
Akane just grinned and cracked her knuckles. "Why ask why?"  
  
The teacher adjusted his spectacles and looked outside at the soldier drones. "All right, don't anyone panic. They'll leave you alone if you leave them alone."  
  
The class watched as a student was beaten into submission, drained of all energy, folded up and thrown into a trash receptacle.  
  
"Or maybe not."  
  
Akane was through the window before the teacher had finished speaking. "Time for me to do what I'm best at!"  
  
Ukyou ducked out a moment later, "sorry Teach, I gotta go save the school or something!"  
  
Vanilla sighed and flipped down to the ground similarly.  
  
"Shampoo head hurt from all this. Good fight just what Shampoo need to unwind."  
  
From the third floor, two others came running down, intent on the same thing.  
  
"Nabiki Tendo, get to safety, this is a job for MEN!"  
  
"Want to place a bet, Kuno-baby? I'll bet two okonomiyaki lunch specials that I get a higher body count than you do!"  
  
Ranma shrugged, turned on his wristcomp, and set it on automatic to analyze the big rip that these  
opponents were coming out of.   
  
Ranma found himself wishing he'd unpacked the BFG. Not that he could have kept it away from Shampoo  
once she found out he'd packed it.  
  
In the meantime he could get some practice in himself.  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
Usagi looked at the little package and was immediately surrounded by little floating hearts. "A package  
from my Mamo-chan! Thank you! WAIIIII!"  
  
The courier closed the door, smiled, and the air shimmered around him. Now wearing his customary wizard's robes, he took out his clipboard.  
  
"Sailor Moon, Brownies with nuts - Check.   
Sailor Mercury, VR harem girl computer disc mislabelled  
as VR Library of Alexandria. Check.  
Sailor Venus, cursed box of 'sample' dumplings. Check.  
Sailor Mars, cursed shojo manga. Check.  
Sailor Jupiter, cursed recipe book. Check.  
Tuxedo Kamen, Baby Ruth bar. Check."  
  
The Spells R Us evil wizard nodded, satisfied. Venus had already had one of the dumplings and now weighed three hundred pounds. "Lets see her try to wear her fuku now."  
  
A grin passed over his face as he felt Usagi's cursed brownie take effect. If that weren't enough the sound of a five year old child screaming in the room he'd just left was sufficient indicator that Usagi Tsukino was now no longer a concern.  
  
Mamoru Chiba would be turned into a helpless baby girl. Rei Hino would get sucked into her manga and end up in the "Rose of Versailles" as Marie Antoinette. Makoto Kino would just flip through the book, then be compelled to fix one of the recipes after another. It would be interesting to see what curses she'd end up with. Ami would find herself locked into the VR world with no apparent exit within the program, and if she exited the program improperly...  
  
The wizard teleported. He had to get back to his shop. He could watch from there, anyway. Then he could find the four Senshi who weren't currently aware of their status.   
  
---------------------------------  
  
"HA DO KEN!" A fireball slammed into a faceless minion, lifting it up and carrying it into an impact with the school gates.   
  
"BLACKJACK!" Card shuriken sliced into another faceless minion, which dissolved immediately thereafter.  
  
"Eeeeeeek!" Ukyou said, being lifted off her feet and being carried away by two of the faceless minions.  
  
Vanilla drew her sash and used the Iron Cloth manuever to make it a sword that slashed through the arms  
holding Ukyou. "I'm really sorry," she said in a quiet voice. "I don't happen to have a battle cry."  
  
Shampoo grinned and drew out a little something her airen had made for her on that desert world when she'd lost her favorite katana. He'd copied the very same weapon that had cut the katana in half, as best Ranma could. The flashlight hummed and an energy blade appeared at one end. "Shampoo CHOP!" Shampoo spun and leapt and swung her light sabre about in great swooping arcs, giggling and generally quite happy with how events were turning out. This beat doing that algebra stuff at least.  
  
Tatewaki Kuno finished off one of his own opponents only to see the Big Momma coming. "Ah, the master youma. This then, is my chance to truly prove my skill against a worthy opponent."  
  
Slapping aside the kendoist and looking about at all the martial artists, the waxy looking giant finally settled on the most dangerous appearing of its opponents.  
  
"HA DO KEN!" Akane fired off a quick fireball, then sprinted forward. She intended to perform a Shoryuhau.   
  
"HA DO KEN!" The giant mimicked, features reforming into a 12ft tall version of Akane. "HA DO KEN!"  
  
Watching Akane get slammed with two of her own fireballs, everyone else went still for a moment.  
  
Akane picked herself out of a crater. "Think you're so tough? You should try sparring with Ryu, you wimp!"  
  
"Got it!" Ranma smiled, made an adjustment to a blocky looking gun, then fired a shot at the rip in the sky.  
The rip sealed itself, leaving some bewildered looking youma behind.  
  
"Arrrrrrrrgghhh!" The giant Akane leapt into the air, slamming down over the original version.  
  
Shampoo, without further ado, cut off the wax Akane's head with a single strike. She was rewarded by the sight of the giant melting like hot wax. "Ah, some day is good to be Amazon."   
  
Ukyou stepped past Shampoo, stuck her spatula underneath the molten blob, and began the task of freeing the original Akane.  
  
"I just hate waxy buildup," Akane grumbled as soon as she had finished gasping for air.  
  
"Oh, it's not so bad, sis," Nabiki offered, "look the stuff just peels right off."  
  
*bRIIIIiiiiiiiiiPPPPPPP!/b*  
  
"Uhm. Oh dear. Sorry about that."  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Sasuke looked up from the postcard, eyes beginning to glimmer with tears. "Oh...how glorious. Dare I believe it?"   
  
"Dear Father, Brother, Sasuke:  
Have completed my studies abroad. Am enroute to rejoin all of you and should be there in a few days. Will speak to you then.   
Hugs & Kisses, Kuno Kodachi - Fist of the Black Rose."  
  
Sasuke was sure to put the postcard where his master would be sure to see it. Soon Kodachi would be returned to them!   
  
-------------------------------  
  
Kiima held her head in her hands. "But you take Amazons all the time!"  
  
"Not the same." Nathan Brazil flicked an ash off of his cigar and regarded the winged woman. "Have an agreement with the Amazons. Don't have one with Phoenix Mountain."   
  
"But I'm too tired to fly across to Japan!" Kiima frowned. If she couldn't get a ride there, how could she cross? She'd have to rest a day and then fly across.  
  
"What do you want in Japan, anyway? Last I heard Phoenix Mountain had retreated from the world and pulled the tunnels in after them."  
  
"One of the Doctor's Companions is in Nerima. I'm engaged to him." Kiima flushed a little, wondering what It was like with a normal human. She'd heard stories of course.   
  
"The Doctor?" Nathan frowned a little. Last time he'd run into the old coot, he'd been trying to avoid capture by some Cybermen. Could something be going on in a Tokyo suburb that was unusual even for his life?  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
A door slammed open and a tall 17 year old girl gave a disgusted sigh as she saw that she was indeed too late.  
  
"C'mon, Usagi, we gotta get you cleaned up." Makoto led the child away from the toys. She knew that only she and a few others would ever remember Usagi as being older than the little girl in the pink jumper.  
  
"Mako-chan. Am kid! No fair."  
  
"They couldn't have seen through our disguise fields," announced Luna. "Even with that videotape. So  
how did they know who we were?"   
  
"Magic," said Makoto with a shrug. "C'mon, I got Ami and Minako over at Rei's shrine. I'll drive you over."  
  
"Drive?!" Luna exclaimed. "Say what happened to you, anyway?"  
  
"I fixed a recipe with wine that had been aged three years. Found myself aged three years as soon as I  
had some. We can probably get Usagi a little older with it. Minako has to be shoved through doors now, she's terribly overweight. Ami's eighteen years old now, and...well." Makoto seemed reluctant to say anything further in that regard.  
  
"Oh no. What about Mamoru?"  
  
"Well, Ami seems OK to take care of her."  
  
"'Her?!'" Usagi started bawling. "Mamo-chan's a girl?! Waaaaaaaaaaaa!"  
  
"She's also a baby," said Makoto, flinching when this escalated Usagi's wail.  
  
------------------------------------------------  
  
Queen Beryl stalked forward, manifesting her presence as if she were 20ft tall.  
  
The Spells R Us wizard was not terribly impressed.  
  
"How could you let them live? I have heard reports that you have left the Senshi helpless. Why are they then still alive!"  
  
The wizard held his arm out, flicked his hand around, and pulled a sheaf of papers out of nowhere. "It's in my contract. Check it out, page two. While I am to remove the Sailor Senshi and their immediate allies from interfering with the various competing Dark Kingdoms, the contract specifically states that they be allowed a chance, no matter how slim, to regain their natural forms. Killing them would invalidate that."  
  
Beryl took the papers with a grumble. "Who insisted on this clause anyway?"  
  
"I did." The old man shrugged and leaned against a wall that wasn't there. "Look, I do work for you Dark Kingdom types, I do work for the Infernal Revenue Service, I do work for the Divine Justice & Retribution people. I freelance. I kill off the Senshi or ANY group of true heroes and I can kiss the DJR jobs goodbye.  
Likewise, the truly evil I can't do anything too permanent to without there being a CHANCE for the   
individual to recover.  
  
"Not only losing the odd jobs, but as long as I'm working both sides, neither is going to interfere in my little fun. Unless, of course, I make a mistake and get someone who is under either Divine or Infernal protection. As soon as I find out about that, I back off. Same principle. Got it?"  
  
Beryl considered drawing her power around her and lashing out at this worm who dared to mock her. A moment later and she was doing so.  
  
The wizard smirked. "You really shouldn't play out of your league, you know."  
  
-----------------------------------------------  
  
"There, all done." Kasumi put the shears away and regarded her handiwork.  
  
"Looks kinda cute that way, Akane."  
  
"I've got shorter hair than Ken does, Ukyou." Akane sighed. "At least it isn't shorter than Ryu's."  
  
"Where's Ranma when you need a male opinion?" Ukyou looked around, then noticed the hovertruck was missing.   
  
"Oh, Ranma was going to investigate some of those odd power readings. He said that there were similar attacks like at Furinkan, but at several different locations." Kasumi walked around Akane before nodding that she was satisfied.  
  
"Where's everyone else?"  
  
Ukyou shook her head and fingered her own long hair. Maybe she should consider a different look. "Shampoo and Vanilla are sparring. Nabiki is working with some Amazon magic potion stuff."  
  
"Hmmmm. I thought she was making dinner," Kasumi said with a sigh. "Tonight's another full moon, so  
I've got to get ready for the second night of my three night cycle. Who _is_ cooking tonight?"  
  
"Me," Ukyou said. "Don't worry, Kasumi, I've got extra lettuce for you for after you've transformed.  
Just try not to go past the Kuno estate again. They get really freaked out."  
  
=============================================  
  
end chapter 3.  
  
preview chapter 4:  
  
"Hi, is Ranma in? My name's Makoto Kino and  
this is my good friend Ami Mizuno. May we come in?"  
  
Nabiki chuckled evilly as she checked the drinks.  
Yes, everything was in place. Ranma couldn't escape THIS  
time!  
  
"Airen fix power armor?! Shampoo happy! Want  
BFG hooked up as soon as you can. Stupid helicopter 'Poison  
One' keep trying to attack Shampoo. Shampoo want clear  
superiority in firepower. Is only right for Chinese Amazon!"  
  
"Ken? Is that you?! I was...just thinking about  
you."Akane checked her hair, momentarily forgetting that  
he couldn't see through the telephone. 


	4. Chapter Four

A Very Scary Bet part 4: Limedrops keep fallin' on my head. by greggsharp, metroanime@mindspring.com http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com various people own the various char. no trademark infringement is intended. And yes, i am competing with Skysabre to see how many series we can cross over in the course of a fic. bwahahahahaha. ha. ahem. gomen. though i *still* think it would be major league amusing to crossover OMG/SM or TM/SM. much thanks for my pre-readers who have helped enormously. this is written for enjoyment, distributed for others to enjoy, and has accomplished its purpose if it has a few fun moments. 

OPENING ANIMATION: characters walk in and stand next to Ranma as their lines come up. background is a yellow stage with logo in background. 

Ranma (curious): What would you do if I sang out of tune? Ukyou (pleading no): Would you stand up and walk out on us? Kasumi (politely): Lend us your ears and we'll sing you a song, Nabiki (smirking): And we'll try not to sing out of key. ALL: Oh, we get by with a little help from our friends, Oh, we get high with a little help from our friends, We're gonna try with a little help from our friends. Shampoo (watches Ranma): What do I do when my love is away? Rei/Vanilla (calm): Does it worry you to be alone? Sash (softly): hai... Akane (confident): How does it feel by the end of the day? Ryouga (turned wrong way): Are you sad because you're all alone? ALL: No, we get by with a little help from our friends, Oh, we get high with a little help from our friends, We're gonna try with a little help from our friends. Kodachi (as if lecturing the camera): Do you need anybody? Makoto Kino (sadly nods): I need somebody to love. Ami Mizuno (consulting computer): Could it be anybody? Minako Aino (sulking): I want somebody to love. Nuku Nuku (bouncing): Would you believe in a love at first sight? Akira Fudoh (grim): Yes, I'm certain that it happens all the time. Kiima (ominously): What do you see when you turn out the light? Happosai (grinning lecherously): I can't tell you, but I know it's mine. other characters begin filing in. Misato Katsuragi, Nodoka, Genma, the Doctor, Pantyhose Tarou, Sash, Serjeant Benton, Alistair Lethbridge- Stewart, Cutey Honey & John Talbain are carrying the logo. ALL: Oh, we get by with a little help from our friends, Oh, we get high with a little help from our friends, We're gonna try with a little help with a little help from our friends... 

---------------------------------------------------- 

A small four-wheel drive vehicle moved through the streets of Nerima. This was unusual in a number of respects. First, because this was Nerima and automobile traffic in the residential sections was pretty rare. Second, it was unusual because this wasn't a sedan, coupe, or similar vehicle but an SUV (Sports Utility Vehicle) in Tokyo. The need for a Sports Utility Vehicle in Japan was not particularly well documented. 

While both of these factors were unusual, they were not so out of the ordinary as to draw any particular attention. That there were two women and a cat in the car was also not particularly noteworthy. 

That the driver was a quite attractive seventeen year old, while the other was an equally attractive woman of perhaps nineteen might have turned a few heads but still not especially worthy of note. This was Tokyo. What would be a devastatingly attractive woman in Arizona was merely average good looking here. 

But then, if you were to identify the passengers, then things got decidedly more interesting. 

"I still don't trust this guy. How do you know that HE wasn't the one who showed up with magical food!" 

"So we go in cautiously. Besides, it looked to me as if he were heavy into the high-tech sorta thing, not..." Makoto slammed the brakes, and three set of eyes tracked the commuter that ran through the intersection. 

"Ami," said Makoto in a small voice a few moments later. "Did you see what I just saw?" 

Ami was frantically pressing buttons on her computer keypad and didn't answer. 

"A unicorn? In Nerima? In Japan? Why and how is there a unicorn in Japan?!" Luna stopped when she realized that nobody else would know either. "It's GOTTA be one of the Dark Kingdom generals." 

"I'm detecting the same sort of energy that Sailor Moon's attacks emit. The same sort of healing energies." Ami found herself twitching and tried a deep breathing exercise to calm herself. Well, why not a unicorn? Was that any less hard to believe than reincarnated soldiers of an ancient Moon Kingdom? To hear stories was one thing, to actually SEE a unicorn another. 

"Let's just get going and see if we can find the Tendo dojo. Now remember, if there's trouble DON'T transform, Ami." 

"I remember," Ami said meekly, remembering what had happened when she and Makoto had tried transforming to their Senshi identities. Jupiter had powered up with her sudden aging, while Ami hadn't transformed into Sailor Mercury at all. 

She blushed again, remembering the odd sensations she'd gotten. It had been... strange and exciting and strangely exciting. 

-------------------------------------- 

Somewhere near Okayama, the greatest genius mad scientist of the universe monitored her flying crab remote probe and decided she needed more of them immediately. 

That vehicle had very interesting power readings, the unicorn was itself quite an interesting phenomena, and the strangeness all seemed to either head towards or away from that odd house with all the odd energy signatures. 

Wasshu sat back and smirked, only to nearly fall off her chair when an alarm buzzed at her. 

There in a monitor, was Kiyone?! Accessing the instant clothing machine. She'd put it away from her lab as she'd figured that Mihoshi would be drawn to the device. But Kiyone? 

In the monitor, Wasshu watched the Galaxy Police detective shrug into...a sailor fuku? 

Wasshu stroked a control lightly and then nodded in satisfaction. Kiyone was at least going out well-equipped. Forcefield generator in the belt, laser in the tiara, electroshock knuckles in the gloves, a contragrav device built into the suit itself. A somewhat tasteful blue-grey coloration to the ensemble. 

Another control was stroked and Kiyone's muttering was loud enough to hear. 

"...dang it. Got to help 'em if they're like the Warrior Blades, but couldn't they have a less embarrassing uniform? I mean, seriously..." 

Wasshu's smirk returned. So that was it. She'd have to upgrade the systems on that fuku. Kiyone was entirely too useful and too competent to allow her to go into battle without the proper equipment. 

Wasshu flicked to the other rooms in the house, seeking whatever had caused Kiyone to act tonight instead of spending more time gathering data. It was out of character for Kiyone to move without knowing what the situation was. What she saw made Wasshu begin to laugh. 

Oh yes, she'd have to record this for posterity. Then, thousands of years later, she could play this all back and still laugh herself silly with it. 

"Begin recording and tracking. Mihoshi. Ryoko. Aeka. Sasami. Poor Tenchi, maybe I ought to get you a tuxedo..." 

--------------------------------------------------------- 

A large recreational vehicle shot through the night at a fairly good speed. 

Ranma clicked a status report for the workbots and smiled. Tunnel and first chamber already excavated and sealed. Slight drop in the power efficiency of Larry. He'd have to check that out later when he did the planned upgrades. 

Ranma's eyes flicked back to his cargo. Furinkan hadn't been the only location struck by these hit-n-run life-energy draining attacks. As near as he could see, Furinkan had been attacked by Panther Zora who usually attacked Bluebird Senior High School. Bluebird had been attacked by some really nasty creatures who had just abruptly left. 

Saint Hebereke's School for Girls had been attacked (no one was quite sure why) by creatures that had been an odd mix of human and animal parts. They suffered less damage than was usual due to the presence of some paramilitary force with fairly old combat rifles. It was a pity that the Saint Hebereke computer lab got trashed by a stray missile, but these things happen. At least the school had been evacuated by that point. 

"Gurk." The woman's eyes opened. 

"Don't try to draw unnecessary power," Ranma advised. "Whoever you ran into did a really nasty job. It may take me a few days to put together the necessary parts but bionic systems ARE my specialty." 

"Gek." 

"I'd suggest shutting down to your maintenence mode. Though, yeah, I should be able to put you back together by the end of the week. At least minimal functionality at that point." Ranma paused. "I think you managed to hold them off long enough for the students to escape but the school's a wreck." 

The android's eyes closed. She'd failed to win, but still succeeded in saving lives. It would do, for now. 

Ranma noted the telltale that indicated that the android had shut down to a rest mode. Adjusting course slightly for the river, he made sure his stealth systems were active. 

-------------------------------------- 

Nabiki added the kairaishi mushroom bits to the stew, just "helping out" Ukyou. She silently chuckled at the double meaning to her offer of assistance. 

Besides, if this worked out, she could get HUGE sums the next day and satisfy her own insatiable curiosity at the same time. 

Ukyou didn't notice, once again lost in the gulf that had developed between her fiance and herself. It was familiar ground, she kept coming back to the same ideas over and over again. She'd fallen in love with Ranma shortly after they'd met. He'd been her friend and companion for years. She had fantasized about him, and loved him unrelentingly for over a decade now. The only thing the years had changed had been the way she wanted to express that love. 

The changes in Ranma were incredible, and Ukyou noted that she herself had changed little. She had always seen herself as Ranma's True Fiancee. Shampoo was more comfortable with the tech stuff, and the Amazon "Princess" had blossomed into a curvaceous beauty. Ukyou wondered if she could compete. 

Fortunately, she _was_ the Master Of Okonomiyaki, and her current lack of attention was not really a problem as far as that went. She could pull a 48 hour cram session and still make tasty and edible food. A good thing too, or her current meal would rival the worst that Akane could have prepared. 

Therefore she missed the lemon drops being added to the tea, the bits of mushroom added to one particular okonomiyaki, the little eyedropper of fluid that went poof into the cabbage of another okonomiyaki. 

Nabiki looked at Ukyou, gauged the near-trance the other girl was in, then back at this last okonomiyaki, back to Ukyou, and added another eyedropper of "honeymoon sweet." Some things were more difficult than others. 

Caught up in her own plootting, Nabiki didn't particularly notice Vanilla come in, stir the pot briefly as if idly curious as to what was for dinner, then exit. She definitely didn't notice Vanilla give a subtle nod to Shampoo. 

If she had seen Shampoo's grin and thumbs up to Vanilla, she most likely would have become concerned. 

If she had known what Kasumi had added to the soup earlier in the day, she would have become far more concerned. But you already knew that. 

------------------------------- 

Ranma finished connecting fluid and energy connectors to the head on his workbench. His scan of internal systems was interrupted by a sound he hadn't expected. His phone was ringing. 

"It's always the shower or when you're just getting into an intriguing bit of work, you know," Ranma explained to the android. "Just a minute. Computer, use ident routine, basic level. Origin of call?" 

A voice that sounded vaguely familiar spoke. "Call originates from London. Call is scrambled, using standard UNIT cipher four. Video and audio components." 

"UNIT? Now why would the Doctor's associates with the United Nations be contacting me?" Ranma shrugged. "Accept transmission, use monitor two." 

"Well, Ranma Saotome, back in your home territory are you?" An elderly fellow with a certain roguish charm smiled from the monitor. 

"Q?! Using a UNIT cipher? How _did_ you get my number?" To say Ranma was surprised was mildly understating it. He'd left on good terms with Her Majesty's Secret Service, but hadn't exactly expected their paths to cross again. 

"Oh, those chaps over at UNIT found your location yesterday. When you called that older sister of yours to explain you'd be late for dinner they backtracked it." 

"And naturally you dug into their computer files." 

"Ranma!" Q looked mildly indignant. "We've had trapdoors through UNIT's computer systems for decades. After all, we had to close up all the ones that OTHER nations went and put in." 

"Of course," agreed Ranma, acknowledging the other's point. "So why did you call? Not that I'm complaining if it's just a social call." 

"Well, it's that too. According to the seismic records you're digging some pretty large chambers into the earth and rock below Tokyo." 

"Ah, and you wanted to caution me about using or developing too much high tech." 

Q actually looked shocked. "Heavens, no. Actually, I wanted to schedule a visit, once you have some gadgetry to play with." 

Ranma nodded after a moment. "Just don't bring HIM." 

"Turn Sir James loose with all the girls you have there? I understand your concern. Oh, and just so I can charge this call as a business expense, you WILL engage in a mutual backscratch when the opportunity arises and no previous loyalties are compromised?" 

"Confirm that, Q. Hey, in three days, I'm planning a labwarming party. Can do?" 

"I could use a break from the gratuitous sex & violence." 

"I am NOT Sir James. Not my cup of tea, as you well know." 

Q chuckled. No, they were different in many ways, that was for certain. "Well, pencil me in, then. No promises, though." 

Ranma nodded. One thing about working in Q's field was that regular hours were often conspicuous by their absence. "Understood. Ranma out." 

--------------------------------------- 

Shampoo took off for her pre-dinner run, wanting to check on Kasumi and work off some additional tension in the joy of flying. 

Lavender tresses billowing behind her, the Amazon twisted the throttle and sent her hovercycle past a startled looking group in a four-wheel drive vehicle pbefore gaining altitude and sailing above the houses. 

She'd been introduced to a number of musical styles during her travels, and to the horror of both Ranma and the Doctor, Shampoo had gotten addicted to karaoke. 

So it was with Steppenwolf's "Born To Be Wild" blaring out of speakers on a hightech hovercycle, being sung along to by a Chinese Amazon as she raced a little under one hundred feet above the road. 

Shampoo was not aware of a moon cat in the car she'd just passed, currently swearing off Tender Vittles for life. Shampoo was also not aware of Makoto exclaiming repeatedly "I want one of those!" 

Shampoo was not even aware five minutes later that a combat helicopter was closing. 

------------------------------- 

Ukyou opened the door, wondering who could be here at this hour. 

A tall girl with a pony tail, and a smaller girl with short hair who had a superficial resemblence to Akane. Both of whom were holding up "Fiancee to Ranma" membership cards. 

"Hi, is Ranma in? My name's Makoto Kino and this is my good friend Ami Mizuno. May we come in?" 

Ukyou paused as she considered how to handle this, but decided to just be herself and maybe they were just here to chat? Ukyou silently prayed that this was the case, then smiled. "Of course. Numbers five and seven? I think I remember you. Ami, you're the one who helped out in that Flatulence Phantom caper, weren't you?" 

Ami blinked. "You're the one who was trapped in the well with Ranma? Your spatula isn't the only thing that's grown." 

Makoto winced. "Ami. You didn't say that you'd gone off on one of their adventures." 

"Sorry. It's been a few years." Ami paused. "I remember now, that was one of the things you did to train in the martial arts. You went to investigate these hauntings and such, travelling across the country with your okonomiyaki cart 'the Meal Machine' solving mysterious events." 

Ukyou and Ami shared a mischievous look, though Ami was a little shy about it. 

"Oh come in, you two. Ami, you've got to tell me how you've been doing." 

Ami humphed as she nodded. "Is Akane still as danger-prone as ever? Is Nabiki still running scams and 'accidently' leaving with part of the treasure? Is Kasumi still patching up..." 

"Is Ranma still as cute as ever," put in Makoto then clapped a hand over her mouth as if she couldn't believe she had said that. 

"Yes, yes, yes, and I'm not going to say. Come on, I'll get you some tea while we talk." Ukyou shook her head. "I'll fill you in on some of the details." 

------------------------------- 

Shampoo said something in her native tongue, it was not flattering. 

Smoke pouring from a hole in the side of her vehicle from the first missile strike, Shampoo guided her hovercycle into brushing the ground and cornering buildings like a shadow. 

Poison One responded with machine guns blazing and a spread of missiles. 

Shampoo knew full well that her airen hadn't installed any weapons systems beyond her vibro-spear. That didn't do her any good with the readout telling her she was at 79% structural capacity and 45% power output. 

Shampoo thumbed a button. "Airen. Airen?! Shampoo really could use help now. Someone please to bring Shampoo ranged weapon?" 

Another missle exploded near enough to throw Shampoo off her hovercycle. She watched in dismay as another two missles exploded on the vehicle, reducing it to scrap. That was her *favorite* hovercycle! It had been a trophy of battle! It had given her many hours of pleasure as she reveled in the freedom of flight and high speeds. 

Gritting her teeth, Shampoo faced the copter as it circled for a shot. "FLAME ARROW!" 

There was a clang as the chi blast bounced off Poison One's armor. There was a dent, there was a burn mark, and that was about it. 

Shampoo realized that she was about to be hit with hundred of rounds of ammunition and managed what she imagined would be her last act of defiance. 

----------------------------------------------- 

EYECATCH: 

Makoto Kino, in an Amazon pantsuit and carrying bonbori, runs past the screen. 

Akane, in tiger striped bikini, runs by almost on Makoto's heels. 

Kiyone, in an Evangelion plug suit, looks a little embarrassed as she passes. 

Cutey Honey, dressed as a Sailor Senshi, runs by. 

A Macross Valkyrie in Gerwalk mode lands with the AVSB logo in its hands. The cockpit pops open and Shampoo grins, winks and gives a thumbs up to the audience. The rest of the female cast appears in the foreground, all wearing someone else's clothing. Ukyou's dressed as Lupin, Lillith is dressed as DevilHunter Yohko, Misato Katsuragi is wearing an okonomiyaki chef's outfit, etc. 

------------------------------------ 

The radio's squeal cut through the pleasant conversation. 

"Airen. Airen?! Shampoo really could use help now. Someone please to bring Shampoo ranged weapon?" This was followed immediately by a neutral sounding voice stating "Warning. Carrier dead." 

Akane stood. "That chi attack of hers is roughly half the power of my Hadoken, but it takes less power. If she's run into something that she can't handle..." 

"I will be along a moment behind you, Akane. I may be able to contact reinforcements." 

"Right," Akane ran for the doorway, then looked for the smoke trail that marked Shampoo's location. 

Vanilla's gaze swept over the two guests and their cat. "I realize that you don't particularly owe us anything. But would one of you be of assistance now?" 

"W-What do you mean?" Ami stuttered as she met that emotionless unblinking stare. "We're just high school girls like yourself." 

Vanilla shrugged. "Someone who can fight demonic entities in Juuban might well be of assistance. Shampoo was just making a pleasure ride, after all, and did not take weapons." 

"I don't know what..." Ami's voice trailed off. 

Makoto glanced from Ami to this pale girl and thought about old stories dealing with baby birds who made the mistake of looking into a serpent's eyes. 

Vanilla frowned ever so slightly and was gone out the door in a less than a heartbeat. 

Makoto quietly went to the door and looked out to see the columns of smoke twisting their way up from a few miles away. "They're gonna run that far?" 

"Nope," said Ukyou flashing a set of keys as she ran past them. "Nabiki, keep an eye on the food!" 

------------------------------------------ 

Ranma monitored the transmission, noted that the energy signature corresponding to the hovercycle engine had stopped, and considered the possibilities. 

Another energy signature appeared. Ukyou's little moped was no doubt quite useful for making market runs and picking up the groceries she used in keeping her lunchtime okonomiyaki stand going. Ranma doubted its capabilities if it were carrying more than one person. 

"Shampoo can you read me?" Ranma pressed a button. Shampoo didn't want it known, but there had been some problems with restoring her from that transport accident. 

Shampoo was an Amazon, and looked natural, but some of her had needed to be rebuilt. This was what had motivated Ranma to become a cybersurgeon in the first place. Of course, once he had access to cloning technology, he had run with that! He didn't know how to do full scale clones, but regenerating limbs and a few assorted body parts was child's play with the right equipment. 

So Shampoo had a Universal Headjack outfitted with a short range transceiver, along with a couple of other relatively minor enhancements that were normally hidden by her hair or even the skimpy clothes she tended to favor. 

"Airen? I hurt, airen..." Shampoo's voice was weak even with the subvocal transmitter. There was only a few people she'd confess weakness to, or let *anyone* see a vulnerable side of herself. This was the main one. "No think much be left for you to put together. Sorry." 

Ranma popped the hatch, and went for the river access. He knew a way to get there. 

------------------------------------ 

A moped swept in, scooting around a corner, and showing definite signs of strain. 

"Arisa, mark that.Three more of them. On a moped." 

"Where's the first one? We had her dead to rights and she just vanished!" 

"Lady Atsuko wants a status report." 

One of the windshields blew in from a chi-fireball. 

"More androids? RETURN FIRE!" Arisa snarled and made the same assumption they'd been making. Normal people didn't throw fireballs or leap small buildings. Therefore, these were more of those damnable androids. 

"Missles launched. Got 'em, that building fell on 'em. Now we can continue scanning for the original target." 

------------------------------------ 

Hiroshi and Daisuke were doing something they did quite often nowadays. They were praying. They were also fishing, sort of. After all the explosions they had left their poles unattended and turned their attention to that, but it was quickly becoming a nonevent. Just as much as the fishing, actually. 

Though after hours in powerless power armor, both of them wanted to feel the breeze and breathe relatively fresh air for awhile. 

"Oh kami-sama. Send me a sign. If we are not to pursue Akane or Ukyou anymore." 

Daisuke nodded, then noticed the line on his fishing rod was playing out fast. "HEY! I got one!" 

Hiroshi looked over. "Wow. Maybe it's the sign." 

"Nah," Daisuke chided as he held onto his rod. "For such an important decision, it'd have to be a MUCH more impressive sign." 

The pole shot from Daisuke's hands, nearly pulling him over the railing as it went. 

A moment later the river erupted and a serpentine dragon roared in rage as it headed towards the fires. 

The sound of dripping water continued for a few moments. 

"Daisuke." 

"Yes, Hiroshi." 

"I think we ought to resign from Kuno's Strike Team." 

"You might be right." 

There was another pause broken only by the dripping water and sloshing from the river. 

"Hiroshi?" 

"Yes, Daisuke?" 

"You think Ranma ever gives rides?" 

"Do YOU want to ask him?" 

"Good point." 

----------------------------- 

A section of rubble shifted, then exploded upward. 

"Hah! It'll take more than that to put Akane Tendo down! Compared to Ryu's chained 37 hit combo, a wood and plaster wall is as nothing!" Akane began the circular arm motions of a Hadoken, then noticed another geyser of building materials. 

Vanilla staggered a little bit, then noticed that there was no sign of the okonomiyaki chef. She'd known the chef was the weakest fighter of the house, being overly reliant on her weapons and just not having the dedication to fighting skills that the others had. 

Poison One began repositioning itself, gun tracking to their position. 

Ranma arrived. 

Akane quickly helped Vanilla to find Ukyou, as it wouldn't be safe here with the control problem Ranma's dragonform had. 

The serpentine form shredded the armor plating of the chopper, popping out what was left of the windshield and reaching with claws for the annoying insects within. 

The insects weren't cooperating, shrieking and firing a handgun at the "Godzilla reject" that was coming for them. 

Akane looked around and noted that Vanilla had vanished. When she checked, she found the albino kicking two women out of the helicopter and running them down the road, keeping in between them and the dragon which quite apparently wanted to swallow them whole. 

Vanilla returned shortly, motioning to the dragon to lower his head, then speaking earnestly to him. After a few moments of this, Vanilla came jogging up to Akane to let her in on the plan. 

--------------------------------- 

Makoto and Ami were catching up on old times with Nabiki, listening to her tales of life in a village of Amazons, when people started filing in. 

The albino girl and the short haired girl from earlier were first, carrying the moped driver in between them. They were followed by the boy from the hovervehicle a moment later. 

"How's Shampoo?" Nabiki asked, stopping Ranma before he could go further. 

"She's resting. When her life signs are more stable, I'll be able to do more. I really wish I could get my hands on some cloning equipment." 

Vanilla finished laying Ukyou down and regarded Ranma with an unblinking stare. "Why?" 

"With the right equipment, I could set up a healing chamber, encouraging tissue to regrow. I've done it before. With Shampoo, to be precise. When she was injured in that teleporter accident, well it wasn't smooth." 

Catching his look, Ami swallowed. "What happened?" 

"Internal organs damaged, one of her arms imploded, legs fused. Oh, and technically it wasn't an accident. The Cybermen had left a booby trap. I had to learn cybersurgery and FAST, that meant utilizing that teaching machine again, and modifying it further. "I was able to access cloning technology later and Shampoo was glad to lose her mechanical parts and return to being 100% human when I put together the first healing chamber. Of course, I was rather clumsy back then with bionics, I would have done a much better job with the right parts." 

"Oh dear." 

"You're a doctor?" Ami blinked. At his age? An inventor, a martial artist, AND a doctor? 

"I don't have a license here. I applied for one in the Barony of Hope, but couldn't stick around long enough for the results of the test to be posted." "Here we go!" Nabiki brought in the first tray. "Sit down, Ranma. You're going to have a busy night so you'll need to eat plenty." 

------------------------------ 

Ukyou stared at how thoroughly out of character everyone was, and considered going to bed. She had no idea what was going on, but this hadn't been a very good night for her. 

Six times, Ranma had gotten up to check on Shampoo, answer the phone, or go switch on his scanners. 

Six times, dishes had been exchanged at a frantic pace the moment he left. 

Makoto and Ami had remembered the food stealing between Ranma and Genma during the "old days" and had assumed this was their current tradition. So, after declaring that they understood this, had gleefully joined in on the food switching. 

Ranma had noticed this last time back to the table that only Makoto and Ami were eating, and had inquired if something were wrong. Naturally, everyone had assured him that there was _nothing_ wrong and had started eating. 

Sometime after that Ami had pulled her "hentai pen" out of thin air, called out some sort of command phrase "Magical Bunny Girl Make UP!" and was wearing an outfit that was more than a little scandalous for a Japanese High School girl. 

That magical attack, though. "Bunny Blitz" was just plain wrong. Everyone except Ranma had gotten similar bunny suits. He was wearing a tux. Ukyou sincerely hoped that when Ami finished playing around, that their normal clothes would return. Though Ranma did look major cute in that tuxedo. 

Ranma was looking a little panicked. Makoto was sitting in Ranma's lap, passed out from where she'd kissed Ranma and those programmed reflexes had kicked in. Vanilla had gotten this determined look, grabbed Ranma, kissed him, and a very similar event had taken place. 

Ukyou watched with a certain amount of horror as Nabiki grabbed Ranma, took her own kiss from him, and started singing! 

"Ah, sweet mystery of life at last I've found you! Ah, I know at last the secret of it all! All the longing, seeking, stressing, waiting, yearning, The burning hopes, the joy, the idle tears that fall! It's love (of money among other things) the world is seeking! And it's love and love alone that can repay. It's the answer, the end and all of living! For 'tis love and money and love that rules for me..." 

As Vanilla decided this would be a good time to show off her own skills, Ukyou got up to fix Kasumi a plate for the morning. After running around all night, Kasumi was usually quite tired and hungry by the time she got in. Besides, she wanted to see how much sake was missing... 

"Fly me to the moon, And let me sail among the stars, Let me see what spring is like, on Jupiter and Mars!" 

Makoto stuck her head up, interrupting Vanilla's song. "Spring has arrived for Jupiter!" She decided to snuggle where she was while Vanilla finished singing. 

This was a battle after all, and Vanilla was an Amazon. Mere interruptions would not allow her to admit defeat. 

"In other words, hold my hand, In other words, kiss me... 

Fill my heart with love, And let me sing forever more. You are all I long for, All I worship and adore. In other words, please be true, In other words, I love you..." 

Ranma had somehow vanished sometime after Makoto's interruption and before Ami started dancing again or something. 

Shampoo hobbled in a few minutes later, stating that merely being shot a few times by a high calibre fully automatic weapon was not enough to overcome 3000 years of Chinese Amazon tradition. Oh, and were those pork okonomiyaki?! 

------------------------------------------- 

Hours passed. Ranma was found by Ukyou but he wasn't letting ANYONE in at that point, and had sealed his vehicle against all environmental conditions. He did give care instructions for Shampoo, and would someone please call him when the nightmare was over? 

He ended up coming out anyway, when it was obvious that everyone was busy doing karaoke. It was also discovered that Ami's Magical Bunny Girl form had some special attacks that were... not the sort of thing you'd expect from the quiet studious girl everyone remembered her as being. 

Ranma dragged Shampoo (who'd fallen unconscious) and Ukyou (who seemed as confused and frightened as he was) back into his heavily armored Recreational Vehicle and tried to patch Shampoo back together again. She'd apparently opened up her stitches during the third verse of "Love is all you need." 

Just out of curiosity, Ukyou switched on the speaker at the door to the elevator. It was worse. They were ALL singing now. 

"...Darling, just for me, can't I wait for you? In your heart, I wanna make you feel so brand new! When you beckon, love comes at your call, It's a love that's meant to be. It's in the stars above. . . Why don't we fall in love? 

"You give me nothing to hold on to, It's nothing but kindness, So painful, my heart, Love is always loneliness, But within your arms. . . AH!" 

Ukyou shook her head. "They sound better with practice. Must have used a lot of the good sake." She switched off the pickups, then on an impulse set them to record. 

Nabiki might actually pay to have these erased. 

------------------------ 

Kasumi entered the house and wondered at the evidence of some slumber party. Still, knowing that tonight was another full moon, she had to eat and catch at least a few hours of sleep as soon as possible. 

Leftovers had been carefully put away for her, with a little note from Ukyou. 

Kasumi, Weird night. Really weird night. I'll talk to you when I can, as it is, it looks like I'll be spending the night in Ranchan's lab. Shampoo's really messed up, and may need your healing abilities the next time you change. 

Catch you on the flip, Ukyou 

Kasumi idly took bites out of her okonomiyaki as she considered. She'd hoped that her little nudge would have helped Ukyou overcome her usual shyness. If the girl had spent the night in Ranma's vehicle, then the two of them might have gotten together. 

Kasumi dismissed that after a moment as quite unlikely. 

Ranma cautiously entering the house brought her attention back to the here and now. 

------------------ 

Ukyou looked up as Ranma entered the lab, cycled the door closed, and gave a deep sigh of relief. 

Ukyou blinked. His shirt was torn, and his hair had gotten mussed up. 

"They were up already? After everything last night, I'd have expected them to sleep till noon." 

"Kasumi," said Ranma simply as he flopped down into a chair. 

"You're kidding? Her too?" Ukyou shook her head. "Must be something environmental. I wonder why I didn't get it?" 

"Don't know," confessed Ranma after a few moments. "What I *do* know is that I'm not going up there for awhile." 

"Don't blame you, Ranchan." Ukyou pursed her lips as she considered the situation. She was here, alone with Ranma. Except for that head on the workbench that was blinking at her. This could be her big chance to... 

"Something wrong, Ukyou?" Ranma looked down at the curvy okonomiyaki chef who was currently clutching him as if for dear life. 

"There's some blond girl's head on your workbench, Ranma. She blinked at me." 

"Oh don't worry about that. In fact, let me check something here." Ranma hit a couple of buttons and something like a large tub hissed open. 

Ukyou backed up a little further when she saw what was in there. 

"Good." Ranma inspected the body parts lying in the transparent gel. He then addressed the head watching him from the workbench. "The nanobots are 90% complete regarding your repairs. There's some good news and bad news, however." 

Ukyou blinked, catching one thing in that. "'bot' - as in robot? The girl's a robot?" 

"Android actually. Or synthoid cyborg if you want to be technical." Ranma noted the blank look from both the android and Ukyou. "OK, a robot is purely mechanical in nature. An android resembles human form and function pretty well, having something like blood and organs and all. A synthoid is a step closer to human from an android- cloned or genetically engineered body parts. A synthoid cyborg has parts that are artifical human, and can pass for human, but has cybernetic body parts as well. Understand?" 

Blank looks continued from both of them. 

"She's an artificial human, with some mechanical stuff added." 

"Oh!" 

"I found her at the site of a youma attack, badly damaged. Brought her here so she could be repaired. You have some *very* interesting subsystems, by the way." This last was directed towards the head. Ranma couldn't understand why the android blushed. 

Ukyou frowned. "What kind of interesting systems?" 

Ranma grinned at Ukyou, glad that she was getting interested in the technical stuff. "Look here, I'll pull up a neurosystem overview on the main monitor. See, she's got these subprocessors. Contains identity and skill packages. With the main system here, it means that when she uses this atmospheric condensor pack to change identities, she's also pulling up different skills and to some degree personalities." 

Ukyou blinked and tried to work it all out, but it sounded like he was saying it wasn't something hentai. 

------------------------------ 

Embarassment was the prevailing emotion. 

Nabiki found herself awakening, sprawled out across the bodies of the two visitors, with a karaoke microphone still clutched in her hand, wearing her pajamas. 

Ami Mizuno was as red as she could ever remember being, finding herself draped with Nabiki and wearing that Playboy Bunny suit. (Not to be confused with an Intel "bunnysuit", which was a cleanroom suit and therefore acceptable.) 

Makoto Kino wasn't embarrassed yet, but as soon as someone moved she would be. Wearing a pair of borrowed pajamas and not having any idea what had caused all this, Makoto would assume the logical and that she'd gotten drunk somehow. 

Akane was curled up in her pajamas, clutching a picture of Ken Masters to her bosom. Of everyone there, she'd be the least embarrassed except Vanilla. 

Vanilla merely awoke to find herself camped out at the door of the Ranmalab. As memories filtered in, she decided she'd have to try this again soon. 

Shampoo awoke, found herself strapped and bound to a table, and was promptly embarrassed by her reaction to the event. 

------------------------ 

The moon was high and full. Power swirled the length of the unicorn's horn and abruptly discharged in a white stream of energy that speared the little girl in front of it. 

Usagi Tsukino abruptly gained a fair number of years. "I'm back! Yes! Yes!" 

Ranma and Ami took readings from their computers, met each other's eyes and nodded. "Okay, Tsukino-san, you're back to normal. If you and Kasumi would pool your abilities on the others, I compute a 97.4% chance that you'll be able to break the curses on them." 

"97.48419%," corrected Ami Mizuno. She hurriedly joined the others (except Makoto) where the unicorn and now-transformed Sailor Moon could focus their energies. She was a bit anxious to become Sailor Mercury instead of Bunnygirl Blue. 

"Oh, by the way, Ami-chan, I'm giving a labwarming party this next weekend. If you and your friends would like to attend..." Ranma didn't look up, continuing to monitor things with his portable scanners. 

"Oh. Yes!" Ami blushed and wished Usagi would hurry up. This was so embarassing. 


	5. Chapter Five

A Very Scary Bet: Chapter 5 rough/partial  
It's The End Of The World As We Know It (and I feel fine...)  
OR  
Over The Meadows & Through The Looking-glass...  
  
Note: Applicable disclaimers apply.   
This crossover was planned a *long* time ago and many other projects have kept me from putting this out. The contents here occur simultaneously with Chapter 17 of Mirrors Multiplied.  
  
"The Enemy Of My Enemy Is A Potential Customer."  
"The Art of War Merchandising", Liu Shih Kang  
  
"Time moves at different rates in different universes. This is the origin of those stories of spending a single night in the Faerie Realm and arriving up twenty years later in your own world. The Relative Temporal Rate can even have a negative value, which can really muck things up."  
"D-hopper Mk 3.2 User's Guide"  
  
Elsewhere---------  
  
Far away, as such things are measured, a young man named Ranma Saotome was living under the ancient curse of living in interesting times. He had been bounced from one universe to another, up and down time, and into situations that would have crushed lesser folk.  
  
He had even indirectly precipitated the pressing of a certain button by a certain Valkyrie marking a sudden breakout of a certain war between two places known as Heaven and Hell.  
  
It was another basic rule of the Universe: Stuff Happened.  
  
Universe AVSB----------  
  
Everyone who was there was there. The invitations had gone out, and nearly everyone invited had shown up. Their reactions had been a bit different upon seeing the workbots STILL using lasers to fuse hastily dug corridors.  
  
Still, it was a "labwarming" party so the people invited fell into two categories. The scientifically inclined and the mainly bored.  
  
Washu had done Ranma an enormous service by leaving Mihoshi at home. Kiyone, on the other hand, was making business contacts with the man known as Brigadier Alistair Lethbridge Stewart, one of the "high-ups" of a local policing agency as she understood it.  
  
Ami Mizuno, girl genius with dreams of being a physician, had gotten over her initial shyness and was chatting comfortably with a bespectacled "treasure hunter" named Gina Diggers.  
  
A fellow with the name of Keiichi Morisato was moping around by the technical readouts because his girlfriend had been unexpectedly called away by business.  
  
Ken Masters was dealing with an uncomfortable amount of attention from his fellow student in the Fierce Dragon style, Akane Tendo.  
  
Nabiki was flitting about like a social gadfly, and wherever she turned was someone connected to the rich and powerful. Or else they were rich. Or else they were so powerful that rich was inconsequential to them.  
  
Kasumi was helping to serve drinks.  
  
Shampoo was demonstrating the joys of power armor to an envious Makoto Kino and Minako Aino.  
  
Ranma and a fellow named Tenchi were comparing notes about the problems associated with having multiple girls after you as a marriage prospect.  
  
Ranma forgot all about his current problems as the displays on his computers changed. "Oh dear."  
  
"What's up, m'boy?" The British gadgeteer known as Q wrenched his interest away from the fascinating weapon hooked into the undercarriage of the heavily armed recreational vehicle.  
  
Washu blinked as she read the screens. "Oh dear," she seconded.  
  
"Excuse me, people, we're gonna have to cut the party short."  
  
Brigadier Alistair Lethbridge-Stewart frowned ever so slightly. "What's up?"  
  
"Heaven's just declared Ragnorak. Armaggedon. Whatever you want to call it. Requesting confirmation." Ranma input a trace routine.  
  
"Oh, it's confirmed, Mister Saotome." A woman appeared out of nowhere and smiled as she noted the various people in the room. "Good, you're all here. Sorry to break into your little labwarming party but the choice of time wasn't mine. My name is Nike, due to the different time rates between Earths I can only stay a little while. I'm setting up an informational downlink with the Yggdrasil system and your computers."  
  
For some reason, nobody doubted her. They knew in their hearts that the Trump had been sounded.  
  
"Oh-kay," Akane said from where she had been monopolizing Ken's attention. "So, if it's Armaggedon, it's our duty as martial artists to help protect the innocent."  
  
"Hmmm," Nabiki hmmed. Apocalypse didn't sound like fun to her, but she knew which side that she wanted to win. Therefore... . "I doubt I'll be much help, but count me in."  
  
"You can count on, er, never mind." Ami's voice trailed off.  
  
"Ami, actually you COULD help, and your friends." Ranma's eyes narrowed and he grinned at the goddess. "If Nike here can help us with transport, there's a timeline I visited... and Wasshu, I could really use access to your technology. It's light years ahead of my stuff..."  
  
Wasshu smiled a little in return. "Centuries, actually. Nobody said it had to be a LOW tech war, did they? But could you do me a favor..."  
  
Ranma nodded. "If I can."  
  
"Call me LITTLE Washu!"  
  
-------------------------------------------------  
  
Elsewhere:  
  
Sirens blared as the Heavens moved.  
  
The Rival Relief Office was shut down and the various misfits being shoved into other forces. Kitchiri briefly was moved to the Goddess Relief Office before ending up in Sanitation. Mambo Jack was briefly in the einherjar, but quickly moved to a gun turret as far away from the Valkyries as was possible.   
  
The drow mage Edema was assaulted by a fellow named Ares, and when the dust settled she had a spike heeled shoe planted on his back and whip wrapped around his neck.  
  
A reluctant incubus found himself in charge of people so incompetent that they couldn't even have gotten jobs with the Rival Relief Office.  
  
Kimiko Tendo received a battlefield promotion to Valkyrie Trainee for the duration of the emergency.  
  
Frey got ready to lead a Heavenly Host onto the mortal plane to deal with the mortal who had dared declare Ragnarock early. Nobody, after all, likes having a death sentence arrive while you're trying to kick back, relax, and cuddle with your favorite romantic interest. Or, in Heimdall's case, interrupt a serious night of beer and skittles.  
  
Various forces of evil also got the call.  
  
Marller hoped that if she couldn't deal with that goody two-shoes Keiichi that she could at least beat the snot out of Urd.  
  
Godzilla snorted, sniffed the air, and thought briefly about the possibility of visiting somewhere else than Tokyo. After all, if you ate there you were hungry again an hour later.  
  
------------------------  
  
a universe with a much higher temporal rate:  
  
"Nuku Nuku want to help Papa!"  
  
"I'm kind of busy with this, why don't you see if you can go help Mizuno-san over there."  
  
"'KAY!!! Wai wai! I get to help Ami-chan!" The android girl ran to where a short haired girl was in the messhall going through manuals with her friends. Except for that Usagi-chan who seemed to be more interested in trying to find some food in the kitchen that *didn't* need to be thrown out an airlock.  
  
"I'm sorry Nuku Nuku, but I'm trying to figure this out. Maybe Washu?"  
  
"Oh," said the catgirl android with a momentary pout. "Uhm."  
  
"She's on the main bridge," said Makoto, wrestling with her own tech manual.  
  
"Environmental systems extended to all decks," came a voice from the intercom that everyone recognized as belonging to that nice Morisato fellow. "If someone can lend me a hand I can get to work on the power couplings that were severed on Deck Five."  
  
Nuku nuku twitched. "Wai. Keiichi-san needs help. Wai!" Zooom.  
  
-------------------------------------------------  
  
on the bridge:  
  
"So... Washuu's workbots are fixing the outer hull?"  
  
"Actually, those are *my* workbots. The metal extruders and fabricators and materials are courtesy of Little Washuu."  
  
The Brigadier nodded as if he actually understood that. "So how long is this going to take?"  
  
"The hull work and interior decks should be done in six hours local time, which is two minutes on the Heaven plane or one hour on our home plane." Ranma looked up from his calculations at the resulting chorus of groans. "We do have some other things that need to be resolved in the meantime."  
  
"Ah, yes?"   
  
"Does anyone know where we can get some really good fighters? We'll have to go to melee at some point, and there's a number of fighter ships that Washu and I can get our hands on if I can remember the temporal and spatial coordinates."  
  
"What kind of fighters?" Q looked at the Brigadier who shrugged. "I would rather think that Her Majesty's Secret Service will be rather busy on the home front."  
  
"Likewise the various UNIT forces, though I think there are a few agents hanging about in Japan we could probably get."  
  
"Well, a few that can handle high tech equipment would be good. What we could especially use are hand-to-hand fighters. Preferably ones that don't require a lot of support. Most of the Helcrew will be using claws, talons, fangs, chi blasts, things like that. Marines, maybe some power armor troops and the like."  
  
"Airen?" Shampoo looked up from cleaning her weapons.  
  
"Well, I think I can get Ryu, maybe Chun Li. Blanka would *love* this setup." Ken started to shrug but realized Akane was still clinging to his arm for some strange reason. Maybe she was cold.  
  
"Airen?" Shampoo set her weapons down and turned her Cute Look on at Full.  
  
"Well, heck, Nerima's full of martial artists, oh yeah. Never mind. They'd never cooperate as a group." Akane shrugged from where she'd all but grafted herself onto a muscular arm. "It's not like you can go to a martial arts dojo and say 'Hey, we're going to a staging ground where we're going to sacrifice ourselves to give the Multiverse a few more minutes to prepare for Armaggedon. Wanna come?' I just don't think that'll fly."  
  
"Airen?" Bounce, bounce. Shampoo waved both hands over her head.  
  
"Uhm, yes, Shampoo?"  
  
"Shampoo know where get many skilled and good fighters!"  
  
"I thought she was asking where the bathroom was," mumbled the Brigadier after a moment.  
  
Q managed to uncross his eyes after watching Shampoo bounce around for a minute. He was old, that didn't mean he was dead.  
  
Vanilla looked up from the manual she was reading. "If they not come at request, I talk to Elder. They will follow Champion into battle."  
  
"Hey, and Felicity and Honda are in Japan, so's Talbain and Frank, I think!" Ken grinned at the thought. "I think we may have enough marines..."  
  
"Maybe, let's see."  
  
----------------------------  
  
"Queen Beryl, a new development!"  
  
"This *better* be good news to interrupt me at such a crucial time, Jedite!"  
  
"You can always tape record 'Heavy Metal L-Gaim II' and watch it later. Besides, it's a dumb series. I have news about the Senshi!"  
  
FOOOMMMM!  
  
The various other generals and youma looked at the smoking boots where Jedite had been standing a moment ago.  
  
"Does anyone ELSE want to waste my time with this sort of nonsense?"  
  
Queen Beryl sat back on her sofa, lifted a large bag of popcorn (extra buttery) and mused over the events onscreen. Why couldn't SHE get some giant robots like that? Then she'd have the pleasure of squishing the Senshi underfoot...  
  
Beryl snapped her fingers and gave the appropriate orders. And she'd have a better color scheme than some tacky all-white robot.  
  
-----------------------------  
  
The ship hung over their heads, adequate indication that the group was not delusional.   
  
"We don't have time for debate or argument. Any who want to go with us to the frontline of the battle, get aboard the shuttle. We have to be there within a few minutes so we have to go NOW." Ranma looked around at the curious men and women standing around the plaza. "I won't lie to you. If the battle DOES occur, I expect that even if we get enough people to accomplish our objectives, we'll be annihilated from sheer numbers. This is a war with no prisoners taken, no quarter, and the other side will break any rules of engagement as soon as it is convenient. Anyone who still wants to help us fight the Forces of Evil, get to that shuttle there..."  
  
Ranma blinked as the plaza emptied and what seemed to be hundreds of Amazons tried to get on a shuttle designed to carry a dozen.  
  
"Told you," said Shampoo smugly.  
  
"Have to make several trips," agreed Vanilla.  
  
Cologne made a trip to her hut and grabbed up a few items, just in case.  
  
--------------------------  
  
The Wizard of "Spells R Us" noted the severed bits of spell and curse and thought briefly about going after them again. No, he had enough of this mess. The truly good or the truly evil were generally off limits to him anyway.  
  
Still, he could have his revenge in an indirect way. A few telephone calls were sufficient to get the ball rolling.  
  
Unicorn's horn, and almost all parts of a dragon, these could be used in a number of ways by a powerful necromancer or alchemist. They were also rare and sought after components.  
  
Of course, it was like getting the heart of a virgin. Taking those components wouldn't leave much of the donor left.  
  
Astral subnode 12, Stepping Stones To Hell-----  
  
A large ship warped in, followed by several others. Ranma had made the most of his time and the differing time rates of various universes. The result was a "ragtag fleet" composed of nearly as much variety as the members of his team.  
  
"Thrusters to station keeping," ordered the nominal Captain, a young lad named Tenchi Masaki. "Uhm. I guess we settle into place and wait for the enemy to show?"  
  
"That's the orders from above," Ami wanted to find a way to transform but so far there hadn't been a chance where they could get a reasonable explanation. The Senshi appearing, fine. Ami and the others DISAPPEARING was the sticky point. In the meantime, it had been agreed to keep their identities secret at least until Ragnorak was underway. Then, during the confusion of battle, they might be able to transform without anyone noticing.  
  
Brigadier Stewart and Q placed bets as to when the young girls would transform.  
  
Cutey Honey, Ai No Senshi, was hoping that her fellow freedom fighters would transform soon. She was hoping to copy their costume and stand beside them as Sailor Cutey. At least as soon as this Kyosuke person finished reconnecting her head.  
  
Keiichi wondered if this had been the emergency Belldandy had been called away for, and would he have a chance to see her again.  
  
"Multiple bogies detected!" Nabiki called from her position at the twin domes of the radar display. "The enemy is approaching. It's official people!"  
  
"Red alert!" Tenchi ordered. "All hands to battle stations."  
  
Aeka sighed and looked longingly at Tenchi. Quite obviously Tenchi was in his element as a prince of Jurai at the moment.  
  
Ryoko looked at the viewscreen and shuddered. She could have seen herself working for THAT side, in which case she'd have had to fight Tenchi. If her old pirate buddies could see her now, working for the good guys, she'd never live it down.  
  
-------------------  
  
Another Ranma rotated his shoulders and started his gladiatorial armor's warmup. Fusion engines the size of watch batteries came online within seconds. The AI automatically adjusted the armor's settings as it went. The armor was a marvel of technology that combined genetic engineering, artifical intelligence, cybernetics, and technologies so advanced that terms had yet to be invented for them in 20th Century languages.  
  
#Multiple bogies detected. Lifeforms unrecognized. Analysis?#  
  
"No, just flag the unrecognized as enemies," Ranma sighed. Another battle. Yet another fight. Still it was familiar enough and he knew he was losing on a completely different front. Kasumi was to marry Tofu, and it looked as if Nabiki would never get around to noticing the helpful friendly presence he'd provided her during this journey. Neither Ukyo or Shampoo had time for him any more. "All the ones with batwings and life energy readings in the dark signature range. Note the others behind and around me as being allies."  
  
#Working. Done. Scenario objective?#  
  
"Termination of bad guys/enemies," Ranma paused a moment. "Begin combat analysis subroutines on System 2. Link to that big ship there on System 3, coordinate strikes and monitor transmissions. Designate that as home base for scenario purposes. The hover Winnebago is secondary base. Use Systems 4 through 6 to monitor nearby allies and compensate for their positions. System 7 to oversee and maintain other Systems. System 1 to cyberlink. Activate."  
  
Ranma's awareness expanded as the link was forged.  
  
#Currently mark 650,251 bogies designated Enemy. Currently mark 12,500 marked as Ally. Multiple unknown lifeform types noted on either side. Shall I deploy the Doomsday Protocols?#  
  
"Actually, that would be very appropriate. Password Tango Alpha Delta Alpha."  
  
#Confirm?#  
  
"Confirmation code C'ath."  
  
#Doomsday protocols active. Reminder that some weapon systems dangerous to nearby allies.#  
  
Ranma glanced at one of the "asteroids" floating nearby in this Astral Space. A version of himself, he'd heard. Cursed to turn into a sabretooth tiger. The other Ranma's world's Shampoo with a horse-sword was riding the tiger, all metaphors aside. Certainly here was enough motive for him to personally take a hand. Here was another version of himself who had found what he was afraid he never would. Love. Such a rare and precious thing, too often undervalued.  
  
"Then let's start now. Target enemy force, wide dispersal." Ranma held his hands up. "SINGULARITY BOMBARDMENT!"  
  
Thousands of microscopic blackholes formed. They evaporated in less than thirty seconds. Even travelling at speeds in excess of .5c some couldn't reach their targets in time. Unfortunately for those in the way of the remainder, they went through armor and flesh and chiton rather easily. Gravitic disruption of tissues and electrical systems occurred.  
  
#Warning. Highest concentration of negative life energies located at 30,30. Distance nine hundred ninety seven point six three eight klicks. Current course and speed places intercept with main base at two minutes forty seven seconds. Action required.#  
  
"Shunt all available system power to augmenting ki attack. Keyword Big Bang."  
  
#Warning. This will deplete system power dangerously. Require authorization.#  
  
"Authorization code 'Who wants to live forever?'"  
  
#Accepted. Unit will need to shut down after firing. It was nice knowing you, Ranma.#  
  
Ranma blinked. The AI was apparently more sophisticated than he had thought. If so, it had kept it a secret for decades. "Gathering ki. Seconds to fire?"  
  
#Seventy five, seventy four, seventy three seconds. Disengaging safety interlocks. Seventy. Bringing targetting systems to bear. Sixty.#  
  
Lightning crackled and writhed around Ranma-ft. Large rocks began to lift from the surface of his "asteroid" and float about.   
  
#Forty five seconds. We are fighting on side designated Heaven, correct?#  
  
"Yes, armor."  
  
#Will self go to Heaven if self becomes nonfunctional?#  
  
"I don't know, armor. In a sense, you're alive, so I'd say yes, but I haven't had a chance to explore even what the implications are. In any case, I hope so."  
  
#Self appreciates honesty. It has been a pleasure serving Ranma over years. Five seconds.#  
  
"Big Bang. ATTACK!" Ranma-ft poured a considerable amount of his own energies into the burst, which was multiplied by nine miniature stars.  
  
----------  
  
T-chan shied away as a nearby asteroid liquified and a blast of energy shot across the void into what looked like a black dot quite a distance away.  
  
-----------  
  
"REPORT!" Ranma-av felt the shudder and looked up from the spot welding he was doing.  
  
"Our side just launched a second attack. This one looked like something we'd like to have been able to hit Kain with." Washuu-av sounded intrigued. "That rippling effect was similar to the air slamming into place after being burned away by a lightning bolt produces thunder. Except in this case the blast was powerful enough to burn a hole in the local space/time fabric. The ripple was the 'thunder' of space/time filling the hole. Fascinating."  
  
Ranma-av grimaced at the power output required to do that and finished the weld. "Okay, try the engines now."  
  
"Main engines coming online, temperature within acceptable range," Nabiki's voice reported a moment later.   
  
"Great, I'll try to get the launch bay doors now." Ranma picked up his toolkit and RAN.   
  
Wasshu looked at her own telltales and smiled. "Hey, Captain, how about we fire the main gun before we go to close in combat?"  
  
"Sounds good. How do we do that?" Tenchi wondered aloud. This was nothing like the Jurai treeships.  
  
"Shifting engine power," said Nabiki, her nose in the manual as she turned a switch on the reactor panel, having switched places with Usagi. "Reactor pressure at 25% and climbing."  
  
"Power level at 37 Tetrawatts and climbing?" Ami blinked and reread the display. "37 Tetrawatts is 25% of power capacity?! That would mean 148 Tetrawatts at full?"  
  
"Safety interlocks disengaged. Tachyon fields active. Internal shields on," Nabiki continued to read and work her console at the same time. A sound much like a mechanical heartbeat began to sound through the vessel, the pulse slowly increasing as the gun readied.  
  
"Using manuevering thrusters to aim ship at main group of enemies," Vanilla's quiet voice came from her own console. She consulted her own copy of the manual.  
  
"Why are we moving the ship to shoot a gun?"  
  
"It's a spinal mount, Akane. The gun runs the length of the ship," Nabiki flipped to the relevent pages. "Oh dear."  
  
"Get your sunglasses, people!" Ukyo remembered something from her childhood. She'd been waiting for this moment ever since Ranma had announced they were going to a universe where the Space Battlecruiser Yamato was real and had lost a final battle and was abandoned. Washuu's technology went to work on repairs, and Ranma was still working on systems that Wasshuu had missed. Still, she knew the basic drill.  
  
"Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one."  
  
Ukyo wasn't the only one to see an episode of "Uchan Seikan Yamato." With a certain girlish glee, Rei Hino pulled the trigger. "Ha- SHA!"  
  
Ami had been reading the display wrong. It wasn't tetrawatts. A tachyon engine's full power output was channelled in the equivelant of a sun's total output for 1.48 minutes. This blast left the chamber at the prow of the ship and went in the direction the ship had been aimed.  
  
Multiton hunks of rock and nickel-iron lying in the path of the blast turned to component particles without making an appreciable loss of power. This and the vaporized space dust formed lightning flashes along the length of the blast.  
  
"Bringing systems back online," was Vanilla's only reaction.  
  
"What the blazes WAS that?" Akane blinked behind her mirrorshades. "Did we get 'em?"  
  
--------------------------------  
  
Ranma-ft lowered his TK shield. "Status report."  
  
#Systems at 15% power. Current enemy numbers down to 124,312. Main base is currently launching spacefighters and bioforms. Ship type unknown. Bioform type unknown. Systems shutting...#  
  
Ranma-ft touched the breastplate of his armor. "I have one task left before total shutdown. I need my longrange weapons."  
  
#...active...#   
  
Ranma-ft looked a little sad as he took off the inert armor and picked up the weapons. The armor had been with him, though constantly upgraded, for over thirty years. "Well done, my good and faithful servant."  
  
--------------------------------  
  
"Black Tiger squadron, MOVE OUT!" A dozen jet-like vehicles poured out of the hatchway like angry wasps leaving the hive.   
  
"-Nichieju detachment, power armors, LET'S KICK SERIOUS BOOTIE!-" The command was met with a chorus of female cheers and two dozen unmarried Amazons in power armor joined the Black Tiger squadron in the immediate vicinity of their home ship. There was some confusion at first, as their training in using the powerarmor had been five minutes of listening to someone translating a manual from Japanese to Chinese.  
  
With a series of clanks, several other ships were released from the hull of the Yamato.  
  
"Redwing Squadron. Lock and load." Wings were deployed from these recent arrivals. Old Y-Wings that had been repeatedly rebuilt. Newer X-Wings and A-Wings. Almost completely new B-Wings that had only minor patchwork.   
  
"-What did he say?-" Sash was still trying to get used to the idea that this odd space-like environment was a null-space, essentially part of the road to Hell that traffic to and from the Infernal had to use. The counterpart to the Rainbow Bridge of Heaven.  
  
"-He said that if you're still reading the manual, stick to the basic stuff and read faster, Sash.-"  
  
Finally, three sadly outdated Valkyries that had been used in the initial wars against the Zentraedi.  
  
"Shampoo *like* this!" She transformed the ship to gerwalk and back to fighter and then to battloid mode. "Airen listening? Shampoo really really really like this!"  
  
This added to a heavily armed recreational vehicle and three other ships already in the area.  
  
One, a crystalline starship that liked carrots. The second known as the Yagami. The third, a reconditioned Klingon Bird Of Prey that the new owners were still arguing about a name for.  
  
"Yagami to Yamato, do you read?" Kiyone's voice was registering surprise.  
  
"Yamato here. What is it, Kiyone?"  
  
"Tell Washuu I got some interesting data from one of our companion ships down the line. Apparently one group of our otherdimensional selves are trying to kill Ranma."  
  
Everyone on the Yamato froze briefly, trying to imagine TWO Washuus. TWO Kiyones (okay, those two weren't hard.) TWO Mihoshis. (Now *there* the mind boggles.)  
  
--------------------------  
  
Ranma-ft used a telepathic broadcast since his armor was still inert. "Commander Yamato, this is Gladiator."  
  
"Uhm, go ahead, Gladiator?"  
  
"The Splugorth's MINE!"   
  
"Hang on, we're getting a signal." Tenchi watched as one seriously powerful Ranma shot from the remains of one of the hanging rocks to an intercept course for the main group.  
  
"Confirmed," murmurred Kasumi from the communications console. "Tenchi! The war's been called off."  
  
"HUH!?" The comment reverberated from up and down the line as people who had been steeling themselves to fight their last battle and buy time for the rest of the Multiverse suddenly tried to cope with the idea that their necessary sacrifice wasn't needed.  
  
Redwing 8 had a question. "That mean we no can fight?"  
  
"Uhm, sounds like it," conceded Tenchi, though his attitude was completely different.  
  
There was grumbling and disappointment from more than just the Amazons.  
  
"Do this mean Sash can no keep X-Wing?"  
  
"That too," said Tenchi.  
  
A stream of quite unhappy Mandarin from Redwing 4 was cut off by Kasumi a moment later.  
  
--------  
  
"PRAISE BE!" Penitent Souls Division 104, the "Woebegone Wombats" cheered and prepared to go back to life as couch potatos among the Einherar.  
  
A reluctant demon turned VERY reluctant Captain watched the tiny thread of discipline he'd thought he'd managed to get from them disintegrate.  
  
Grey sighed and started gathering up the discarded weapons and armor. He expected that he'd be held accountable for every damn piece.  
  
"Excuse me," came a woman's voice.  
  
"Yeah," Grey managed, his hands full of weapons that most of the Einherar wouldn't touch.  
  
"Your troops seem to have abandoned you," the woman said with a smile.  
  
Grey blinked, he didn't recognize her, and she didn't have either goddess or demon markings as far as he could tell. So this wasn't yet another test by the good guys or temptation by the bad. "Yeah, well, they aren't exactly what you'd call crack troops. Cracked troops, maybe."  
  
"I see." The woman nodded as if this explained everything.  
  
"If they were truly penitent, if they repented their sins of the past, it'd be different. Most of 'em don't even really understand what they're supposed to be doing," Grey explained. "They were too incompetent to be evil, too selfish or petty to be good, and they've all got a lifetime of learning how to justify how they are. None of it is *their* fault, etc, etc. Consumed by petty things, jealousy, pride, things like that. Given enough time, they might get to making a choice and end up either fully in Heaven or in Hell. As it is, if the Powers That Be listened to me, I'd have 'em all involved in a work program. They're not gonna change if all they do is the Couch Potato routine... Just as long as they don't go to work in the Rival Relief Office."  
  
The woman shrugged, noticed that the odd person had dropped a weapon and ran to catch up with him.  
  
Unfortunately, Grey noticed the missing Baseball Bat+1/+4 vs small flying objects, and turned at entirely the wrong moment.  
  
-CRACK!- He *was* still carrying the enchanted mallet Headbasher II.  
  
Noticing that the nice young lady was currently knocked out, Grey couldn't help but wonder how many demerits THIS would be.  
  
Fifteen minutes later, he would learn that she was from a rustic little village in China with some *really* strange laws. (1)  
  
(1)= note that this takes place prior to the events in Skysaber's Choice and Reluctant Bet.  
  
--------  
  
"Ranma, Shampoo REALLY really like this!"   
  
Everyone on the bridge of the Yamato smirked at the repeated comment from a certain Chinese Amazon over the comm channel. There were even a few snickers and at least one (Akane) guffaw. Though there were a few comments about Ukyo suddenly needing to leave.  
  
"Airen? Did Shampoo mention how MUCH she really really like this? And it have such a nice name - 'Valkyrie'! It only proper for Chinese Amazon to pilot! And it not take THAT much room..."  
  
More snickers as Akane explained that she could just picture Shampoo begging with sparkly eyes if she could keep a puppy.  
  
"... may be needed later. You never know when you might need transforming giant robot. Though Shampoo might want to repaint. Too much primer showing now. Maybe in purple so matches Shampoo's hair... or 'fire engine red' would be nice... Airen? You listen to Shampoo?"  
  
Akane fell off her chair she was laughing so hard, still overcome with the image of the Shampoo she'd met when they were children asking if she could keep a puppy.  
  
"Shampoo need something to replace hoverbike, right Airen?"  
  
"If Shampoo get to keep Valkyrie, Sash want to keep X-wing. Is only fair!"  
  
"Belay that, Red Four," came the squad leader's voice. "Where would you put it? If we kept that thing in the village, the People's Army would be up there to requisition it within a week at least. Not to mention upkeep and maintenance!"  
  
"Airen?" Shampoo's voice went from cutely enthusiastic to concerned. "Airen? Shampoo... Shampoo not mean to..."  
  
"...okay Shampoo..."   
  
At Ranma's mumbled acquiescence, Akane fell off her chair again laughing with an unladylike snort. A withered Amazon Elder joined her.  
  
"Airen sure?! No joke?!"  
  
"Yeah... I suppose I can store it on the Yamato," Ranma said a little more confidently. "These WERE all mothballed or abandoned vehicles. Well except for that Bird Of Prey."  
  
"Stupid crab-heads should no underestimate womans of Amazon tribe. IS SPOIL OF WAR!" That transmission, to no one's surprise, came from the Bird Of Prey. "Stupid Klingons think they only warriors, call me soft and weak! We shows them! Kick thems off own stupid pirate ship! Now is sleek Amazon warship!"  
  
"Airen mean it? Shampoo get to keep Valkyrie?"  
  
Akane stopped chuckling to wait for it.  
  
"...yeah Shampoo... I'll cover it somehow..."  
  
"YATTA! YATTA! SHAMPOO SO HAPPY! SHAMPOO MUCH MUCH *MUCH* LOVE HER AIREN!"  
  
Kasumi turned down the volume of the radio as Shampoo continued to gush while putting her transforming jet through various manuevers.  
  
"As soon as Shampoo gets back, we should Warp back to our home reality, Captain." Ranma's voice sounded somewhat embarassed.   
  
"This could take awhile," said Akane as she watched the mecha go through a barrel roll and end up in battloid form giving twin victory signs.  
  
"Amazon pride is taking a beating today," one of the Amazon Elders said in a weary voice.  
  
"Amazons have pride?" Akane blinked.  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Skuld was in heaven. While being in Heaven was nothing unusual, her residence being the Norn's Grove and her employment at the Goddess Relief Office of Asgard, this was different.  
  
Ragnorak, the Twilight Of The Gods, the End Of All That Is had been postponed. This was, to the thinking of a truly vast number of beings, a Good Thing. This, however,was not the reason for Skuld developing starry eyes and being surrounded by soft focus lighting.  
  
There had been a great many surprises that had occurred during the brief skirmish, which had made the other side anxious to break off their battle just as much as the Heavenly Forces had. Just the fact that a recently apotheosized Japanese goddess of Spring & Renewal had managed to get the Fenris Wolf (not to be confused with Fenrir, who had been an aspect of the Ultimate Destruction Program) to switch sides had caused a large number of the Infernals to make a Reality Check.  
  
This also was not why Skuld was currently floating six inches above the floor and beyond noticing.  
  
"You got the readings?" Skuld's grin was nearly electric.  
  
The Sailor Mercury of a timeline where she was VERY interested in one Ranma Saotome (not that she'd interfere in Rae's happiness) nodded. "Some of the details were too covered by the armor or force fields, but I've got some technical blueprints and details."  
  
Skuld giggled as she looked at the display that Sailor Mercury of HER universe was indicating. The group that had been mobilized from a dozen different timelines to converge on an area of Nullspace had been motley to say the least. THAT Ranma had been some sort of friendly mad scientist type, and had scoured the higher speed timelines for things that could slow the advance of the Infernal Army.  
  
X-wings, Y-wings, Valkyries (the transforming mecha) piloted by Amazons, Mospeada battlearmor worn by real valkyries, Ultimax Power Armor, Gundam units, and other strange designs.  
  
Not to mention a hotwired Klingon Bird Of Prey, the SpaceCruiser Yamato (though half the combatants even in the battle had kept calling it the Argo - resulting in several fistfights after the declaration that Ragnorak had been postponed), and the most heavily armed recreational vehicle Skuld had ever seen.  
  
Skuld watched the blueprints forming on the display of the Mercury computer and suppressed a shiver of ecstacy.  
  
She wondered if the Saotomes that Belldandy was staying with would terribly mind if she borrowed their drydock facilities...  
  
----  
  
Gim regarded the elf and the human and made a hmmphing noise as he went off to find  
Heimdahl or Thor and buy 'em a round.  
  
Parn gathered Deedlit into his arms, two einherjar just glad to be back together, one of several such islands in the sea of returning soldiers.  
  
-----  
  
Shampoo was grinning so much it hurt, but she couldn't stop herself. This was the PERFECT war vehicle for an Amazon! Fast, sleek, deadly, much like Shampoo herself. OK, it needed some work. The lateral thrusters were a bit sluggish, there was primer showing all over the vehicle, she WANTED a laser sword or similar weapon, but all those could be fixed later.  
  
One button down, the ship was a fast jet that could get you to the combat scene quickly. Very important, as one could miss out on a good fight if your ship was too slow. Push down one of the other buttons, and the jet had leg-like thrusters and was ideal for VTOL and lower speed dogfights. Push down the final configuration button, and one had a giant robot capable of infantry battles and employing the martial arts talents of its pilot!  
  
Okay, it wouldn't do for heavy fighting, the armor was WAY too light for that sort of thing. And for covert operations, the Valkyrie was *not* an option.  
  
Shampoo thought back to when Ranma had been travelling with the Doctor and her, and he had bought her a funny little knife. She had carried that thing *everywhere* until they were thrown in jail on that one planet and the knife had been confiscated. It had a screwdriver and a pair of tweezers and a funny thing called a corkscrew, and a dozen other little tools. It had done a little of everything but none absolutely well. The Valkyrie was a little like that. (Though for some reason a lot of people kept calling it a Veritech...)  
  
Shampoo pouted momentarily at the memory. She and Ranma had been thrown in the same cell. It had been cold and the lighting dim, and they'd cuddled up together for warmth. She could remember Ranma's breath warming her cheek as they'd held each other close and how hypnotically she'd been drawn in- homing in on that breath for a passionate kiss that would have outshone the sun! Except, of course, that was when the Doctor had rescued them.  
  
Shampoo had never come closer to strangling the Doctor with his own scarf than on that occasion.  
  
And shortly after that had come the time that the Master had locked her mind in some control, how she had gleefully pounded and pounded on Ranma, all the while some little corner of her mind had wailed and cried in shame. And a promising relationship, one that could have lived in romantic legends to inspire other couples, and been pointed to as a Fated Couple, had gone down in flames.  
  
Shampoo made a note that if she spotted the Master's dead shade over on the Hell side, she'd launch a fragmentation missile. And hoped it HURT.  
  
Still, Ranma had given her the Valkyrie. Maybe, just maybe, she still had a chance.  
  
---------  
  
Ukyo piloted the small vessel, something called a "do-bee" and tried to reach the Yamato quickly. No one had missed her, other than Ranma briefly asking about her and told by Nabiki that Ukyo was checking welds.   
  
No, what Ukyo was doing was FAR more ambitious. Taking a workpod from the Yamato to make a scan of some of the other troops. She'd heard a few comments about getting scans, and she'd taken it upon herself. Who else could be spared if the truce failed to hold? Her combat talents were minimal compared to the others. She had a bit of the Anything Goes, but her own training was mainly in her family's style of okonomiyaki martial arts.   
  
She wasn't as familiar with this tech stuff as Shampoo, not as exotic as Vanilla, not as fierce as Akane, as beautiful as Kasumi, as clever as Nabiki, as smart as Ami, or as graceful as Makoto. How was she to compete?  
  
She'd left the travels with Ranma and company to return home and study her family's martial arts, and mainly not even did that. Her main skills were in okonomiyaki, and Ukyo had to admit she did *nothing* else very well. It had been enough for her father, but for THIS crowd? She was a "one trick wonder" without anything else to recommend her, and this had been painfully brought home with the outfitting of the Yamato.  
  
The Ranma that she'd repeatedly saved from the teasing of Kodachi and Akane had changed. The sometimes-dragon she'd declared "pals forever" with was now working on hyperdrive motivators and deflector arrays. He'd changed but she could see the old Ranma in the face of the new.  
  
Ukyo closed her eyes to picture that long-ago Ranma. The little boy she'd fallen in love with and had never fallen OUT of love with. Sitting on a bench in the park, scarfing freshly made okonomiyaki and making little bits of small talk.   
  
A buzzing noise filled the do-bee, causing Ukyo to wake from her reverie. She'd overshot the Yamato. She pulled back on the control, making another pass.  
  
The Yamato blurred, shimmered, and faded from view.  
  
"AAAAAHHHHH!" Ukyo slapped controls to increase the speed. She hadn't told anyone that she was going! It was just a short trip to scan that big gadget over there! "Don't leave!"  
  
The Yamato vanished, all the fighters either being stowed away or physically linked to the ship at the time.  
  
Ukyo's ship, barely big enough for her to stand up in, got caught in the wake. When she finally got the tumbling arrested, Ukyo looked out at a starfield and a big blue and white globe hanging in the sky. "No..."  
  
There was no sign of the Yamato or any of the ships. No stepping stones to Hel, no odd gizmos, none of the other troops. As far as she could tell, Ukyo was alone.  
  
She hit the broadcast button. "Ranma, can you hear me? Shampoo? Nabiki? Kasumi? Someone?Anyone? Help..."  
  
-----------  
  
"Base to Poison One."  
  
Arisa punched the microphone button. "Poison One, we read you Base."  
  
"Arisa, check NNE, we're picking up an unusual broadcast and multiple bogies."  
  
Kyouko stepped into the cockpit to slap her fist against an open palm. "Maybe it's the bimbo-droid! We can get her at last with the newest upgrades to Poison One."  
  
"Base, this is Poison One. Picking up twelve smaller blips. Two medium. One extra-large. That what you got?"  
  
"Not a glitch on our end, then. Good. The big one's moving too slow to be a plane, must be some kind of extra-large blimp. The smaller ones might be helicopters, otherwise they're moving too slow for conventional aircraft. Lady Akiko suggests you be careful with Poison One as your paychecks are already in hock."  
  
Arisa and Kyouko sweatdropped at the reminder.   
  
"H-hai, reading you crystal clear." Arisa cleared her throat nervously.  
  
"We can handle some crummy blimps, don't be such a worry wart," Kyouko was feeling especially gung-ho today. With the new anti-dragon missiles and targetting system, just let that monster show up!  
  
"Dial to channel 34 on your radio," advised Base. "You'll see what I mean. It's coming from that group."  
  
Arisa did and the two listened for a moment.  
  
Kyouko ventured a guess. "Someone's skinning a cat?"  
  
"It's the 'Ride Of The Valkyries' but played on electric guitars from the sound of it." Arisa frowned. "What the heck? Hey, I'll try a telescopic magnification on the group... oh. my. sweet. kami."  
  
"AAAHHH! How come they have bigger guns than we do!" Kyouko suffered from big gun envy, a chronic problem with technologically oriented anime villains and their hirelings.  
  
----------  
  
Katsushiko blinked and looked up out of his office window as a cloud or something eclipsed the sun. Then he fainted.  
  
All over Tokyo, people fainted, people stopped what they were doing and stared, or just (with the aplomb worthy of a Japanese) shrugged and assumed it was someone else's problem before continuing on with their work.  
  
In the streets below, one man wept as he saw it/them go by. "How's THAT for national pride!" And immediately started singing the theme from "Ucchan Senkan Yamato" (end lyrics from the final movie). And another took it up by the second verse, the effect continuing to spread until the sound echoed off the concrete and steel canyons of Shinjuku. Thousands of voices raised as those who had the guilty pleasure of fond rememberance of the series came out of the closet.  
  
The media would later report that it was all a mass hallucination. That didn't keep those involved from fondly remembering the scene and treasuring their hidden snapshots.  
  
-------------  
  
"Hi, this is DJ Bill and you're speaking to the Heart of Japanese Classic Rock!"  
  
"Let Shampoo speak! Hello? Shampoo would like to hear 'Born to be wild' by 'Steppenwolf' and please to CRANK IT UP!"  
  
"You got it, Shampoo-san! But before we do that, we've got some weird calls coming in. Folks, stop trying to pull DJ Bill's chain here. UFOs are just CIA conspiracy plots. Now, on with the music!"  
  
-------------  
  
Arisa stared as the Space Battlecruiser Yamato moved forward, attended by a swarm of what could only be fighters.   
  
Kyouko's reaction was a little different. "TARGETS! LOTS AND LOTS OF TARGETS!"   
  
Arisa whimpered deep in her throat as Kyouko stroked firing controls to unleash dozens of missiles on this bonanza of targets.   
  
--------------  
  
Nabiki couldn't believe it, but gave the alert anyway. "WARNING. MISSILE LOCKS ACTIVE."  
  
"All ships. Fire once and once only. Target the incoming missiles. Volley one. MARK!" Tenchi was vaguely familiar with the vehicles and their capabilities.  
  
All ships fired once. With two exceptions.  
  
"How dare you attack my precious X-wing with your stupid missiles! DIE! diediediediedie! Eat hot photons you stupid ugly helicopter thing! And your mama designed you funny! And your colors are worse than a sentai team! Bwahahahahaha!"  
  
Tenchi hit the intercom. "Ranma, you ARE going to put some safety override's on Sash's Xwing, aren't you?"  
  
Ranma considered from his position in the engine room. "Well, at least she isn't using..."  
  
*BOOM!*  
  
"Was that a proton torpedo?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
"Where's the Bird Of Prey?"  
  
"Snagged the pilot's parachutes and is en route to Yokohama Harbor from the look of it." Tenchi hung his head. He was just glad Ryo-oh-ki and Ryoko hadn't gotten involved.  
  
"Once we stash things underground and you're back in Okayama, we ought to be fine."  
  
"You hope."  
  
"Tenchi, my friend. I PRAY."  
  
--------  
  
Two decks down, there was a father and daughter talk going on. Sort of.  
  
"Nuku Nuku is Ranma's fiancee?" Nuku Nuku blinked. "What is 'fiancee', Papa-san?"  
  
Thinking of some of the things he'd seen, Kyusaku Natsume considered. "It means that now that Ryunosuke doesn't need you, and Akiko is a bit... hostile still, you'll need to belong to someone. In my wisdom, I prepared for just such an eventuality."  
  
"Akiko san gets along with Nuku Nuku," Nuku Nuku said and paused, "except..."  
  
"Except one week a month. Trust me, I know. Oh dear Lord do I know." Kyusaku grimaced. "If nothing else this gets you out of the house during those times."  
  
Nuku Nuku happily nodded. She had new friends! And whatever a fiancee was.  
  
----  
  
Ukyo closed her eyes. The little workpod wasn't big or particularly aerodynamic, it had been designed for work in deep space. The life support systems could last for twelve hours before she had to dock with a ship or station. The sensor suite, the reason she had picked this particular vehicle, had excellent range and sensitivity. The thrusters, on the other hand, were strictly for short distances and not terribly great speed.  
  
Therefore, the large blue-green world that was filling most of her field of vision was deemed NOT a good thing. That her speed was increasing despite having the thrusters in full reverse was easily determined as the workpod had come off the Yamato and therefore all the instruments were in Japanese.  
  
The young businesswoman sat on the floor after a few minutes and just stared at the wall. She'd spent years fantasizing about Ranma and becoming the best okonomiyaki chef in the world. She was a good martial artist too, though she'd never had Akane's drive for violence or Kasumi's incredible talent for the Art.  
  
She listened to the warning bleeps and just tuned them out after a moment, remembering all the times she'd rescued her Ran-chan from Akane or Kodachi when they had all been kids. The time the two of them had been stuck in the well, or thrown in the dungeon, or...  
  
Ukyo gave a short laugh as the workpod shuddered a bit more violently. What could Ranma have seen in her anyway? She'd spent years mastering okonomiyaki, and had become a decent martial artist. The problem was that Ranma was surrounded by girls that outshone her completely. There were better fighters, better cooks (though not in okonomiyaki at least), others who understood all this high tech better, girls who were stronger or cuter or were exotic.   
  
Ukyo smelled something burning and could hear the squawk of a fire alarm going off. She wondered if Ranma had even noticed her being missing. Doubtful that he'd notice until after he'd gotten the Amazons under control. By which time she'd have long been ash blown on the wind. He'd notice, and then what? Would he ever know what had happened? She didn't doubt that he'd care but with so many women around him, he'd get over her quickly.  
  
"Oh, Ranma, if only I could have..."  
  
The ship coming to an abrupt halt was enough to startle her, but when she saw the ship that was pulling her ship into its hold she realized that she might have been better off burning up in re-entry.  
  
-----  
  
Ranma grumbled about all the extra work but wasn't THAT unhappy about it. Tenchi stuck around briefly, then retired with HIS girls, though he'd at least found someone in similar straits and promised to keep in touch. Nuku Nuku announced that she was his fiancee, and made the understandable mistake of asking Ranma's mother what a fiancee was. She was now undergoing bridal training.  
  
Something Ranma had noticed about a LOT of the couples, once they'd gotten the idea that they had gotten a reprieve from Meaningful But Certain Death, they'd gotten together and found quiet little places to express their appreciation of that continued existence.  
  
Which meant that there were quite a few lime scenes going on, or at least serious cuddling. He wasn't sure what was going on with Belldandy and Keiichi, except that Belldandy's sister Urd had a satisfied smile and had stated that this might take awhile.  
  
There were other groups getting together. That Usagi and her boyfriend Mamoru were clearly visible at the prow of the Yamato, just leaning together and quietly talking.   
  
Others were apparently exchanging contact information for more practical reasons. Each of the various groups had their own enemies, after all, and often found themselves in dire straits. How handy it would be (for example) if the Sailor Senshi found themselves up against a major villain, if they could call up and get reinforcements from one of the OTHER groups.   
  
Both Q and the Brigadier were helping, apparently someone had gotten an idea from an old gaijin television series called "Mission Impossible" that the two were trying to get going. Where certain heroes could be called up when their interests and duties overlapped to form a team of complimentary strengths.  
  
Cutey Honey was quick to seize on this concept, especially as going it alone had ended up with her literally in pieces. The Senshi voiced more hesitant acceptance of the idea, though their cats seemed pretty much against it. Urd liked the idea, but stated that she had to clear it with her office and didn't think that it would fly. Q thought that saving the world was in the best interest of Her Majesty's Secret Service, though he'd have to clear it himself. The Brigadier noted that UNIT could be counted on, though they'd have to invest in more layers of security to keep certain secrets safe.  
  
Cologne got an eerie gleam in her eye and muttered a few things about having "proper heroes and heroines" train under her once again. This caused a few people to have reservations about including the Amazons in this idea. A few others who had been picked up during the preparations, including a brooding young man named Akira Fudoh, thought the idea had some appeal but couldn't make any promises. Not that he needed any help that *he* would admit to, of course.  
  
However, all the groups were agreed on one thing. Ranma currently had the best hidden base from which to plan things and store vehicles. Which meant that it was Ranma's responsibility to keep everything up and running.  
  
Hence Ranma's current spate of grumbling. Not that he didn't see the benefits of having supplies available to him, and if the Daleks ever returned the idea of launching a warfleet and giving them a little surprise had a LOT of appeal.  
  
But keeping everything mothballed for an emergency was just so... tedious. ~Hmmm. That's odd.~ "Has anyone seen Ucchan?"  
  
=================  
  
realized this was at 52kb, so cut it here.  
  
This segment crosses over with Mirrors Multiplied at that saga's chapter 17.  
  
It comes before (in Grey's often confusing chronology -time travel can do that) Reluctant Bet, Force Of Impact, and Source Of Pride.  
  



	6. Character Guide

Mr.Miller suggested this. After all, like the Legion of Superheroes, this has so many characters that you need a scorecard to figure out who's who and we haven't even gotten into the relations yet. 

oh yes, that WAS a Scooby Doo reference in chapter 3. 

-- Listar MIME Decryption -------------- -- Name : avsbguide.txt 

A Very Scary Bet part X: A Guide To The Scary Bet by greggsharp, metroanime@mindspring.com http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com various people own the various char. no trademark infringement is intended. this is written for enjoyment, distributed for others to enjoy, and should not be confused for even a picosecond as Great Literature. ---------------------- TYPE: Continuing Series/Crossover TARGET FLAVOR: Generally insane the original idea was to try writing this as a "What If Kosuke Fujishima (OMG, YUA) had been the writer for Ranma 1/2?" CHARACTERS: ------------------- The Fiancees------------------ 01- Kasumi Tendo, eldest of the three daughters Tendo and practitioner of Hokuto Shin Ken, gentle fist substyle. She knows shiatsu and moxibuxtion techniques, is a good cook (though nowhere near as good as in the canon) and has somewhat more of a temper than in the canon (particularly later chapters.) She's taking make-up classes in order to graduate high school (she was in China) and starts work at a shiatsu clinic soon. Mainly considers Ranma to be a "younger brother." Altered her Jusenkyo curse of Drowned Unicorn so that she only transforms during the full moon. 

02- Nabiki Tendo, second oldest Tendo daughter. Cologne started training her as a warrior of the Chinese Amazons, but it became obvious that her path lay elsewhere and she was officially adopted into the house of Balm to be trained as a Lorekeeper. (This makes her related to Shampoo.) Nabiki is a little less mercenary, but more curious than in the canon. As a Lorekeeper, her skills are in potions, herbcraft, and knowledge of (even if she can't do them) special techniques. Mainly considers Ranma to be like a cousin or a brother on an emotional basis. Cured of her Jusenkyo curse. 

03- Akane Tendo, youngest Tendo. Practitioner of shotokan karate- fierce dragon substyle. She's a better fighter than in the canon. Has a thing for Ken Masters, another student of the same school of karate. Has a bantering/friendly relationship with most of the other characters. Has spent quite a bit of time in the shadows of Ken & Ryu and as a result is anxious to prove herself. Thinks of Ranma as a somewhat annoying but dear brother and would have a hard time changing that attitude at this point. Uses a chi technique to suppress her Jusenkyo curse of Drowned Rhino. 

04 - Ukyou Kuonji. Heir and practitioner of the Kuonji Okonomiyaki Style of martial arts. Slightly better at hand-to-hand than in the canon, but lacked the drive for vengeance that made her train so hard that she became so good with the spatulas. She's never renounced her feminity or sworn vengeance against Ranma in this timeline. Also practices some of the Saotome Anything Goes style. When children, she hit it off with Shampoo ("are you really a princess?!") and shared blood & salt with the Amazon, making her Shampoo's sister within the tribe. Considers herself to be Ranma's "true & cute fiancee" and has a friendly rivalry with Shampoo regarding this aspect of their lives. Cursed to turn into a winged version of herself, though she's learned to suppress it unless she is startled. 

05- Ami Mizuno. Slight training in Anything Goes style. Genius Junior High School student who met Ranma, Kasumi, Akane, Ukyou, Genma and Nabiki while the group was training. Nabiki conned her father out of a few hundred yen with a "shell game" and Mr Mizuno decided to try to cover the loss with a few martial arts lessons bought at discount for his little daughter. This got Ami the "Fiancee Card" from Nabiki. Ami has known for some time about what a fiancee really is, and has entertained a few fantasies over the years. Ami has recently become the reborn crusader of justice, Sailor Mercury. Mainly she regards the engagement as a means of investigating this mysterious inventor and maybe some more martial arts lessons will help her in her battles against the Dark Kingdom. 

06 - Kodachi Kuno. Trained early on by her mother in Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics, Kodachi ran away from home one day and ran into Kasumi. Kasumi heard the girl's tale of woe, being beaten and abused by her mother, and Kodachi joined the training trip. Kodachi was cursed to turn into a tiger, and ended up being sold off by Genma to train in the Southern Cross school of martial arts as "Kasumi's rival." As for Ranma, Kodachi genuinely likes Ranma but views him mainly as a guarantee that things won't get boring. 

07- Makoto Kino. As a little girl became first interested in martial arts when she observed the antics surrounding a certain okonomiyaki cart. Ranma is her first "sempai" - the first boy she ever had a crush on. She had fantasies when she was younger about going on a training journey with the group, but her father had said no. Something she has long regretted. She looks to renew her relationship with Ranma, if nothing else so that she can get more training in Saotome Anything Goes martial arts. Oh yes, she's also Sailor Jupiter. 

08- Atsuko Natsume. Her "father" got a "Fiancee to Ranma" card with a note as to how it was a pity that the frat brother pledge to have their children marry would never come about. Atsuko, aka the android catgirl Nuku Nuku, was introduced to Ranma by Professor Natsume later in order to have an excuse to check out Ranma's hightech equipment. 

11- Lillith. Genma sold his child to a demon for a scroll on a special technique. Of course, Genma thought they were talking about martial arts special techniques. When it turned out to be a special technique for making coffee, he handed the scroll to Ukyou during a time when the kids were bugging him on learning such things. When Morrigan finds out about all the chaos she could have associated with, she might want the card back. Lillith will fill the Shampoo/Kodachi role of fiancee who uses drugs, potions, and spells to try and acquire her fiance (and thereby become "one flesh.") 

24- Shampoo. "princess" of the Chinese Amazons. She's not the tribal champion, having spent a number of years travelling with Doctor Who and Ranma up and down the timestream. She won a daisho in Japan's past. Feels an incredible amount of guilt from a time when she was under the Master's mind control and she beat Ranma into the ground. Ranma had saved her life three times previously, twice at risk to his own, and Shampoo is even more affectionate toward him than even in the canon, though she's also more subdued in pursuing that relationship. She has shared blood & salt with Ukyou, making the chef her blood-sister. Shampoo has developed an affection for hightech weaponry such as power armor and hovercycles. 

29- Kaori Daikokuji. Ranma was sold quite early to her father, though as far as official "fiancee" status is concerned, she is fairly high up in the numbers. Only became an official card-carrying member of the fiancee club when Genma was approached during his search for Ranma. 

32- Vanilla, Champion of the Chinese Amazons. An albino who was left in the Village as a child by Doctor Who. She was actually an age-regressed Rei Ayanami II. She utilizes her half-angel nature and Amazon style kung fu. She is currently being hunted by Queen Beryl as Rei has a LOT of life energy to tap into. Vanilla is after Ranma as he is someone whom she vaguely remembers rescuing her from her entry plug after her Eva unit was self destructed. 

39- Kiima. Winged warrior of the bird people. ----------------The Saotomes----------------- Ranma Saotome. The hero, or at least central character of this mess. Trained extensively in the martial arts, he's more apt to work with machines than practice nowadays. Due to an experience with a device that impresses information directly into the neural pathways, has a female persona that comes out when turned into a girl by his Jusenkyo curse. Also has a set of preprogrammed reflexes from a "marital arts special techniques" tape. His cursed form is actually that of a dragon who can assume human (female) form. He's studied technology in the future and on RIFTS Earth while adventuring with Doctor Who. 

Genma Saotome. Ranma's father. Jusenkyo cursed to turn into a panda. Other than being a bit more lazy and obtuse, he's essentially the same as the canon Genma. The person most singly responsible for the majority of Ranma's problems prior to Nerima. He's gotten lazier and more obtuse due to basically having those "darn kids" running the show for the length of the training trip. 

Nodoka Saotome. Ranma's mother. This is the canon mother as much as circumstances allow. She has spent two years with Akane, Nabiki, Kasumi, and Ukyou around and isn't nearly as lonely. Knows about Ranma's curse and is thoroughly confused that even being a time-travelling inventor, that her son still seems to manage to fulfill her definition of manly. Leaves the Tendo household to get out of her son's way (so that he can be manly, decide which girl he's going to marry, and give her lots of grandkids.) --------------------- Allies---------------------------- Ryouga Hibiki. Lost boy who until recently thought that Ranko was actually Ranma's uncursed form. Now that he has his own Jusenkyo curse, he is capable of believing that Ranma was telling the truth. Turns into a pikachu or "electric mouse." Sometimes a rival or foil to Ranma, as he doesn't quite forgive Ranma for not being Ranko. Becomes Akane's pet P-chan though is pursued by Azusa and Sash for quite some time. 

Doctor, the. Time-and-space travelling near-human from a planet called Gallifrey. Still in his Fourth Incarnation as Ranma and Shampoo kept pulling his bacon out of the fire (of course, they were often instrumental in getting that fire there in the first place.) 

Akira Fudoh. Once a shy and gentle soul. Then a demon-lord named Amon tried to possess him and ended up possessed by Akira instead. Akira became Devilman and fought a number of demonic entities until his Amon body was killed by the demon Siryn. There were lingering side effects, Akira has some toughguy and nasty elements to his personality, is tougher and stronger than any normal human, and is a fair fighter. He is the "lone wolf" rival that refuses to join these groups, but will come to them when they or he needs help. Once he starts developing a relationship with Minako, tends to follow Tuxedo Mask's example of staying in the background until a distraction/rescue is needed. 

Minako Aino. Sailor Venus. Starts out unchanged. Begins to develop a relationship with Akira Fudoh similar to the canon Akane-Ranma. Decides to help Makoto in her pursuit of Ranma. 

Usagi Tsukino. Sailor Moon. Essentially unchanged. Considers chasing after Ranma but instead decides to help Ami pursue Ranma. 

Mamoru Chiba. Prince Endymion. Usagi's boyfriend. aka Tuxedo Mask. Frequently known to look at Ranma and say "better him than me." Reborn prince of Earth. 

Rei Hino. Sailor Mars. Doesn't trust Ranma, at least partly due to mistakes made early in their meeting. 

Ken Masters & Ryu. Akane has a crush on Ken. Both practice the same fighting technique as Akane, though Ryu is a more dedicated martial artist while Ken has outside interests. When Akane leaves Nerima, it is so that she can continue to pursue Ken. 

Jon Talbain. Werewolf. Gets involved with this bunch because Dimitri Maximoff is involved with their opponents. Starts developing a relationship with Kasumi2 after "Settling Bets." Comes to the aid of the Senshi and Honeychan on occasion thereafter. 

Frank, aka "Adam", aka "the Monster". Born in the mid-1800s at the hands of a mad scientist named Frankenstein. Functionally immortal with superhuman strength and endurance. A pretty nice guy if you don't make Herman Munster references. Also sometimes referred to as "Legion." Drives a customized "Fat Boy" Harley. Finds Honey to be fascinating and considers her almost a cousin. 

Honey Kisaragi. android girl who can change costumes on the fly, uploading different skill packages into memory as she does so. Wants to be one of the Senshi or one of the fiancees. Gets some minor system upgrades after Ranma rebuilds her. 

Cologne. Matriarch of the Chinese Amazons. Longtime rival of Perch, Matriarch of the Norwegian Amazons. 

Lilac. Elder Healer of the Chinese Amazons. Has a very earthy sense of humor and thinks Ranma should fool around more as a way of lessening tensions... -------------Enemies/Opponents/Foils---------- Tatewaki Kuno. Essentially unchanged except he knows Ranko is Ranma. However he believes that Ranko is the uncursed form. He is also pursuing his "fierce sorceress Akane Tendo", and the "goddess of okonomiyaki" Ukyou Kuonji. 

Sash. The Amazon Otaku. Until forced to, she believes Ryouga's cursed form is her cute animal mascot. Once she crosses paths with the Senshi and others, will want power armor or magic of her own to live out her dreams as a magical princess/warrior of love & beauty... 

Hinako Ninnomiya. Schoolteacher who normally looks like a child, but has an adult femme fatale form when she has absorbed someone's chi. Essentially a chi-vampire who uses a special technique (Happo Five Yen Satsu) and any circular object with a hole in the center. She runs afoul of the Senshi, and after attacking them once is immediately mistaken for a youma by them. 

Mousse. Male of the Chinese Amazons, master of Hidden Weapons style martial arts. Nearly blind. Has been hitting on Shampoo for years, then mistaking other girls for Shampoo after Shampoo left the village. Jusenkyo cursed to turn into a fruit bat. Mistaken at least once for a vampire as a result. After Vanilla treated him kindly once, he became nearly as annoying to her as he has been to Shampoo. Hates Ranma for "being an enemy of women" and such a Cassanova. 

Tsubasa Kuranai. Pursues Ukyou Kuonji. Discovers all the high tech and starts putting together high-tech and thoroughly weird looking powersuits and battlemecha. 

Dimitri Maximoff. Vampire lord. A Marquis of the Dark Kingdom, not working for Beryl but for Beryl's mistress. Dimitri wants to drain the Senshi and make them his vampire slaves. 

The Spells R Us Wizard. Out to sow chaos and death and destruction because that's how he gets his jollies. 

Queen Beryl. Evil queen working for Queen Metallica. Has a number of henchmen who each control a number of semi-monstrous youma. Out to get life energy to revive Metallica to full power. Sailor Moon's usual opponent. 

Panther Zora. Evil queen who is one of Queen Metallica's rivals. Has a number of monstrous henchmen who control a number of drones and cannon fodder road-punks. The usual antagonist of Honey Kisaragi/Cutey Honey. Furinkan Science Club. A number of obsessed nerds who were the Chem Club at one point. They go into mechanical design when a large amount of money becomes available through Tatewaki Kuno. 

Lucien Makrieg. Major major bad guy. One of Queen Metallica's rivals. This is the major evil ruler for Devilman. He (sometimes she) is of the race of devils, which is a viral invasive lifeform that copies and adapts from host to host. A spider that infects a human would merge the DNA from both into a monstrous being. The power of the individual devil is how many of the individual DNA batches can be combined, or how they are combined. Minor devils combine only two or three simple animals. Major ones combine dozens and gain psychic powers that the individuals did not have. Lucien is rumored to have 666 different DNA patterns mixed. 

Daleks. Rolling cans with guns and periscopes that contain a blob shaped organic component that is the actual Dalek. Known for a lack of humor and limited vocabulary. 

Cybermen. Humanoid shaped cyborgs with little humanoid parts. Known for a lack of humor and a tendency to shoot things. Don't get along well with Daleks. 

K'trall. Once, many ages ago, a peaceful humanoid race with minor esper abilities was making its first space probes and asking the two questions: "Is Anyone Out There?" and "Do They Know How To Party?" Unfortunately the Daleks found them. They spent 200 years being exterminated and enslaved by the Daleks until they learned guerilla warfare, psionic combat, and How To Kill. The next group they ran into were the Cybermen. Now convinced that the Universe was out to get them, they developed their psionic and personal combat abilities to Saiyajin levels and started looking for more opponents before the opponents could come looking for them. Never get in between a K'trall and a Dalek. 

Happosai. Ancient lecherous martial arts master. Doesn't find Ranma that much fun, but with all these pretty girls, how can he stay away? 

Pantyhose Tarou. Largely unchanged. Not as down on Ranma, cause Ranma isn't as antagonistic in return. A fight between Dragon-Ranma and Tarou's cursed form can get messy. Unfortunately for Tarou, he keeps getting blasted by the Senshi for being a youma, Akira Fudoh kicks his butt all over the place for being a recurrent devil, Yohko Mano keeps waving that sword around. On the other hand, he and Ryoko from Tenchi Muyo ought to get along real well. 

Kiyone. Galaxy Police detective 1st class. Quite competent. After hearing that the Senshi are the equivelant of the Warrior Blades, determines that she has to help them protect this planet from what are essentially extradimensional criminals. Uses Washu built gadgets in an ersatz Senshi fuku as Sailor Cop. Series: Tenchi Muyo Mihoshi. Galaxy Police detective 1st class. She's...lucky. Mihoshi uses a Washu designed fuku that turns her into a version of the "Greatest American Hero" - including the skill with landings. aka Sailor Galaxy. Series: Tenchi Muyo Ryoko. Space Pirate capable of phasing, teleporting, projecting energy blasts and a psi sword. In RIFTS terms a fair level Mind Melter. Is one of the girls pursuing Tenchi. Uses Sailor Pirate as her "Senshi" name. Series: Tenchi Muyo Aeka. Princess of planet Jurai. Has some fair powers due to the tiara that is all but grafted onto her forehead and her descent from the Royal House. Mainly forceshield and electrical generation abilities. Rumored to be skilled with the whip. Uses Sailor Princess as her "Senshi" identity. Series: Tenchi Muyo 

Sasami. Aeka's little sister. Bonded with THE tree of Jurai, Tsunami. By agreement with Tsunami, Sasami can transform into the magical princess Pretty Sammi. From this form she can power up further into manifesting Tsunami herself. Series: Tenchi Muyo, Pretty Sammy Tenchi Masaki. Doesn't feel so bad about his own lot in life when he watches Ranma's problems. Descended from the Royal House Of Jurai himself, and can manifest some power. Also carries the Tenchi-ken, a sword of power. Series: Tenchi Muyo Wasshu. Number one genius mad scientist in the universe. Has a thing for a crustacean motif. Series: Tenchi Muyo Yosho. Would much rather stay at his shrine than get involved in all that Tokyo craziness, thank you. Series: Tenchi Muyo Yohko Mano. A professional Devilhunter who finds herself in a love triangle with Akira Fudoh and Minako Aino. Series: Devil Hunter Yohko. Serjeant Benton. UNIT squad soldier who gets a lot of the dirty assignments, because despite his complaints, he somehow manages to slog through where others might go the way of Ensign Extra. Series: Doctor Who. Brigadier Alistair Lethbridge-Stewart. One of the founding forces in UNIT. Considers himself a good friend of the Doctor in at least two incarnations. Ryo Saeba. City Hunter. A professional shootist with ties to the Yakuza, other ties to the police, and a penchant for pretty ladies. SLIGHTLY more controlled than Happosai or Ataru Moroboshi. Series: City Hunter. Umibozu aka Falcon. BIG gaijin who is in at least semi-retirement from the Yakuza in order to work a small coffee shop with his wife Miki. Partially blind but still an excellent shot. Unlike Ryo's surgeon approach, Falcon is more likely to use MASSIVE amounts of firepower. After Ranma's offer to build him a bionic eye, becomes VERY protective of the "little guy." Series: City Hunter. Major Misato Katsuragi. Major of NERV rescued from certain death by Ranma attempting to send Rei back to her own timeline, and snagging a bullet-wounded Katsuragi just before the bombs or going "splut" would have occurred. Gina Diggers. Genius mecha designer in Atlanta Georgia. Discovers that both Seance and Ryan Talbot are interested in her and drops her interest in Ranma (he's kinda young anyway) though the two start exchanging technology and resources. Series: Gold Digger by Antarctic Press. 

Brittany Diggers. Werecheetah married to Prince Stripe of the K'ryn city of Eldorado. Is dragged into an adventure by Gina, makes a Senshi costume and kicks some serious butt in an adventure, though she has her own adventures to keep her busy most of the time. Series: Gold Digger. Brianna Diggers. "Sister" to Brianna and Brittany created through an attempt to free them of a curse. Instead they created a clone with a combination of their traits. Brianna is a weapons otaku who will immediately discover a soul sister in Shampoo. Series: Gold Digger. UNIT. United Nations Intelligence Taskforce a group of paramilitary specialists under UN semi-autonomous control that are charged with saving the world from time- travellers, aliens, ancient evils, and are hopelessly outgunned and underbudgeted for this task. Still, they make do with a stiff upper lip, determination, and a little help from their friends. Series: Doctor Who. K-9 IV. Robot developed with Gina Digger's help that resembles a bionic doberman. K-9 is planned as a plucky nonhuman android to whom various characters can explain a number of things to. Series: Gold Digger/Doctor Who/???? 


End file.
